The hope for torments with a twist

Have you had your breakfast?

2010-01-27T20:43:00.003+08:00

This morning gave a feeling like any regular other mornings. So this morning felt as if I was strong and weak at the same time. This morning also felt as if I planned to spend my day wisely, with a blank mind and a soft emotion just too soft to face the day. This morning, I reminded myself not to think of you but just as I reminded myself to do that, there - you came right back.

Jtx.

21

2010-01-26T23:45:00.002+08:00

Bliss in our hearts.

2009-12-26T00:00:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday love!

There is so much in your life that is priceless and it will always be that way. Have nothing less than a happy, relaxing, fun and love-filled day and a wonderful New Year, 2010 ahead!

With much love, lovergirl. The blog will go on and on if I were to state out how brilliant you have been, be it with your family, friends or me!

Loves!

Happy 20th with greater achievements!

Love Justin.

Tour de Christmas.

2009-12-22T02:40:00.003+08:00

Yv's Tentative Christmas road trip plans 2009'!

Credits: Gabriel.

Holy Metro.

2009-12-14T11:45:00.001+08:00

Cousin Julene's Wedding, 6th Dec 2009.

Sentosa.

Congratulations big cuz. May you have nothing less than a loving vocation ahead with cherished blissful moments. To both Kelvin and You, make some kids soon, I'll bet they'll look as good as you two.

Infusions.

2009-12-11T11:00:00.001+08:00

The JB drive up.

Looking good, mum!

That was quite a workout.

A needed laugh and massage.

Haha. Great to see my mum laugh out and enjoy.

Transit to a little London for awhile.

Charcoal Kiss to cure.

Reflections, Muse 2009' @ RP TRCC.

Part of celebrating our two years, thanks love.

A mile, not too long.

2009-12-10T10:50:00.001+08:00

I could only thank my family enough for their support through my runs and yes, I did a better timing. 50 + min from 1hr 5 min +. 10km.

Extra thanks for the endless support from my mum, in funding the runs, caring for me during my training days and always having my back in my interest. My dad for the endless efforts in getting up early to see me off, give a lift to my friend, Kees and preparing good meals and getting isotonic drinks! Much love, parents!

Another shout out to Kees for participating with me, those training days were nice, I believe the experiences were something new and good for you too.

Thanks to Sin Yee for your concern and support for my health and safety during my training days and for the runs.

For Gab and Daryl, big hand shakes for believing in me and the encouragements to keep me going!

Appreciate them.

Run For Hope 2009.

In hope for cancer to finally have a cure.

10km finisher.

A treat to the sole.

New Balance, Real Run 2009 ( X terrain )

Mud, sand, gravel and taxiway pavements, awesome.

2009-12-09T00:00:00.002+08:00

Hey baby,

Happy 25^th months! Whoohoo... This is the first month towards the 3^rd year and as the years go by, it gets scary but it can be exciting with abundance of great experiences. The first 2 years has gone by as if it was only a few couple of months. The first 2 years were tertiary and as we move along, a different level of test will be on our relationship, but I look forward to watch and understand how our quite comical, unique and loving bond can reach heights we never thought we could. Besides, who would have thought we could tolerate each other till this 25^th month?

I am deeply amazed by your endless ability to stick with me through thus far and I am greatly taken aback by how you could simply take my nonsensical self and sometimes weird ways of handling our relationship. For all the crazy times and the hurtful things, I don’t take it back, it only proved to me what I provoked, you could handle! Well, likewise! Haha.

I love how we laugh things off, but we do not just leave it as that, we communicate when going over the limits sound’s its alarm and we restart from there in order to iron out crumpled pavements to only to enjoy one another and see that despite differences we are able to accept and complement each other to overcome flaws.

I respect how you and I deal with tough and irritating situations be it within us or around. The maturity that you express and keep within doesn’t resolve how anyone at our age can argue not having the same level of maturity. This only goes to show how rare it is to have found you in the midst of the 21^st century dog eat dog society.

I love you.

Justin.

Sporting irony.

2009-11-19T08:00:00.003+08:00

Liking for it at first sight.

Collaboration between Nike and Dutch artist Piet Parra on their latest CO-LAB project. Design takes the same theme as the previously reported Varsity Jacket, "The Lovely Underachieving Loners." An ironic theme as Nike is all about high achievement in its sporting fields.

Reflections untitled.

2009-11-16T10:51:00.007+08:00

Celebrating two is better than one.

Happy 2 years.

Pork to the max!

Supper club.

No place like ma' place chill.

Dr. Cafe catch up.

Mad Jack's. Our 23rd month.

Halloween, whatever.

Long time ~ It doesn't have to be so different when we all seek to feel that same feeling.

You get it, you get it.

2009-11-16T10:50:00.001+08:00

I'm the crime, she's the criminal; convict her to my love.

Beating outta your chest.

2009-11-13T10:54:00.001+08:00

Friday the 13th, he don't give a fuck which day it is, he'll do it when he is keen. You small prick gotta get ready to fill particulars for information of your next of kin, especially when you ain't got no muscles to flex again. You don't know shit so don't give no second thought to wash your mouth with wet cement. Sun dry it prick, little did you know about your rants, it only gets you to commit a getter sin. Finally when it's time to turn in, you re oh-so-alone drowning so deep, befriend the devil in you till he pulls out your rib, bitch.

To 24 months

2009-11-09T00:00:00.001+08:00

Celebrating 2 years, love! Applauding the journey filled with laughter, good fun, oh-so-important trust, understanding, time, effort despite some anger and irritation but most importantly of course, ultimately, love. I wanna truly affirm you for everything you've thought for and of me positively, and the effort placed in only to shower them on me. Appreicate it even though sometimes it may not seem. 2 years does not only mark our special relationship by simply the form of time, but it marks the fact of sustainable love through what we have gone through in which only you and I know. Anyway, all there is to know in this wish of 'Celebrating 2 years', is that I love the fact I have got to know you and grew to know more. Despite all the differences especially in two relatively different lives we lead still, in some way you are the piece of that puzzle that fits.

They don't need to be hyponized to be unwise.

2009-10-29T09:34:00.003+08:00

True buddies don't calculate the time or occasions of when you called or met up. They care about initiative but do not have any hesitations with making one and not get fed up.

They watch you grow and are genuinely glad to see you succeed. They do not have to appear at all but they are always there, especially in times of need.

But that 'they' has gone close to rest because of the minority they have become. It's always a pity to see what you thought was one, oh how easily one fades to none.

The Lie In The Truth.

2009-10-23T23:13:00.001+08:00

Galileo Galeli said: "Truth is not found behind a man's reputation. Truth appears only when the answers to questions are searched out by a free mind. This is not the easy path in life but it is the most rewarding." Relate this to your learning experience in RP.

As I interpret the meaning from this amazing man’s phase about reputation and pre-judgement, I found a deep relation to it. As it does not only apply to RP as a school but to the external world we live in as a whole. Unaccountably many or most of us fall into the judgemental and superficial world we simply create and build boundaries to.

I understand how the truth is not found behind a man’s reputation is simply because the reputation can be self created and self imagined. For example in class, a seemingly outstanding student may boast of what he/she had achieved, earned or bought. That self proclaim creation may likely make up initial thoughts and images towards others. Therefore, the other people affected or blinded to see the real he/she will simply believe and create a self claim reputation about that person, but how true and how real is that student who boast will lay unknown unless they become relatively closer as friends. Taking the same example to give meaning to the second sentence, would be having a free mind in which then we only can find the truth. I fail to misunderstand this line because it is so very true. It is only with a free mind that we can find the optimum or whole truth. I would have a different perception of the “boastful” student if I have yet to meet him/her or missed out on the brags about his/her achievements and what not. From there, having the opportunity to know nothing about that person will in turn allow me to treat him/her as a normal student or classmate. From there getting to know the person without prior knowledge will enable me to know him/her better.

Apart from school life in RP where is happens ever so often, it can be seen from an example of buying a car. Cheery QQ is apparently known as a cheap and low performance car, made in cheap labour, China. Having known this, would I bother going to the show room of it or easily made my way to an awesomely proclaimed, BMW which is known to provide priceless performance? But assuming I did not know anything about Cheery QQ (“free mind”) in the first place and have not created any prior perception about the car, I might find that the car is simply a very practical, affordably priced, safe and has the ability to perform moderately well; I may not even consider to look into other made cars and the money saved from not buying an overpriced car can go into investments for houses. – Simply applying or swapping the example of cars to human, people, we would be most rewarded with unexpected appreciation, (“most rewarding but not an easy path.”)

Therefore, in all, I seek to walk in that uneasy path to find what is most rewarding and have the feel of positive unexpected outcome. Free the mind from judging others easily by having no resistance to solely wanting to know more about the person personally first. Because people tend to lose friendships, miss great opportunities to create various bonds such as relationships and friendships, spend unwisely and a whole lot more due to the un-free mind we mistakenly create and provoke.

Remember, it's you who's pussy.

2009-10-11T15:55:00.001+08:00

Soles that gives you wings.

2009-10-11T15:50:00.005+08:00

Washing clean and new hopes.

2009-09-29T15:46:00.008+08:00

The Singapore GP was awesome once again. Singapore staged a pretty good show once again. As for the race itself, it was filled with drama and a few entertaining moments but it was a Lewis-all the way race, I would say. Red Bull was who I was supporting. Toyota made a name and Alonso made a slient come back despite the crashes made during trial and 3rd lap fall out from his team mate.

Had a good night with my mum during the first night of the race. It was my second time and it was her first and I bet she enjoyed most parts of it. We thank Sin Yee baby girl and her friend, Ashely for the passes. Neat.

Alphabet soup.

2009-09-25T04:20:00.001+08:00

Having had a few conversations lately about relationships, I've decided just to throw some thoughts, views and feelings down into this digital form. To really begin off, I will like to just shout out to my girlfriend. All these are besides my mum of course, as both ladies know me excellently well.

Since it's more a boy-girl relationship, I want to extend gratitude to my girlfriend who has always been there for me. Right now, we stand closely to a 2 year long relationship and trust me, commonly or most first 2 years can already pack in some complex feelings, odd moments, selfishness, ungrateful times, taking one for granted, future, money and family issues and actually, loads more.

I affirm Sin Yee simply because; she is one whom I can easily relate to and vice versa. She has also been a little of an angel; to guide me, support and hear me out. To lend her shoulders and ears throughout and also recently (which is in terms of months which passed not too long ago), to my complains in my own "negative" world, my trust and my people issues and so on. I guess at some point she's totally bored out with what I have to say. For the recent times, I haven't been placing much time for her, be it having my own things to do, being tired, lazy and just simply not wanting to get up to chat or meet. For not making half or even sometimes, one quarter the calls every day and/or night. For reminding me to keep myself on my feet and move on with things and for being understanding for whatever position I am in for example, being caught between friends and family with her. For making me breakfast without fail daily for school, not being tired out like how I have become, taking a step forward just to bring our relationship to another month, most importantly with real love and concerns.

I feel sad sometimes when I know I can do so much but somehow choose to do so little. I really want to make things move on and work out better each time. As time is already catching up so fast I must make moves which I will feel proud of and not sit back and wallow in sorrow situations. I guess sometimes I have to apologies for my outburst of hurtful sayings, though some I meant and some I was ranting and some are just my “at the moment” feelings that I needed to let out and since it has already been said for example, I told her and probably gave her feelings that if I am single it might be better and marriage is not what I wanted. In addition, asked her to find other guys, if I am wasting her time and some other relatively hurtful things. (Well if some of my readers do not feel me or think it's just over sensitive or whatsoever, this are true feelings and I didn’t meant the post to be a debatable one, just so you know if you have left any judgemental feelings or thoughts here or in your head.) In the shoes of someone whom you genuinely love and care for, what I have said is pretty unfair and I on my part am not making things easier.

The difficulty level of placing everything down in words is high but in relationships it is a must for it to be two sided. The core reason, of course is love. But the feelings, the majestic word, the actions and the thoughts of love has to be divided. Divided into many different situations and in order for love to sustain, it should pass every test, big or small. We must know love can wear out; it has the capability to find something or someone to re-ignite, regroup some sort of its synergy to be whole again. Now different situations means the paths that we take, the paves that we make and the situations we so happen to fall into. Those situations will test the stability of love in every couple.

It's funny what the wants and needs are at the beginning of the relationship can change along the way, well of course things will change but the main objectives shouldn't. For me, I let my insecurities bite me, eat into me till I sometimes take it for granted, leave it to my partner to work on, being afraid of comments or judgements by others which I don't usually care or bother but somehow it can come around and it affects me. What affects me will affect my actions and therefore, a chain reaction takes position. Occasionally and commonly is also the lack of something to spice up the relationship. Many would of course be attracted to the other half in many ways than one and for most young and bursting with hormones couples would tend to find one another to fulfil fun, needs and wants. As they go along, the fun, needs and wants can change be it the lack of attraction like how a magnet can lose its force or the need for someone new and even the different wants and needs as the relationship grows older or a better way to put it, matures. All of these affect the input and the output of creating strong bonds.

It's also problematic as the relationship matures, we sort to know each other well, taking each other more for granted, knowing how the other will react, their weaknesses and their strengths. Sometimes it is for the better and sometimes it is for the worst. Many relationships fail because the strengths collide with one another and in some cases, weaknesses used against each other. For whatever the fall of relationships in these cases ends up pretty nasty.

What I guess I have been saying for me personally, is that relationships must be two sided, being understanding and the usual brags about staying faithful and other no brainer kind of values couples must have - is not simply simple.

My relationship is not stronger or weaker than any other simply because mine can't be compared to others and others can't be compared to mine, both are in good ways. Everything that love bonds and forms between two individuals are unique and amazing in their shining own way. But what is wrong is to choose to do less rather than doing what one can to the fullest. To not let others limit the way you are treating each other, to pass less or better, no judgement on others and to have little or no judgement onto ourselves. Though the latter cannot be controlled, we have to take it easy and do what makes your lover and you proud and happy. Just by doing that it will make the judges go crazy, fill with angst and envy.

Well, I am not going to change overnight to the prince of love to my lover, but I just want to say how grateful I am to have such a girl with little or no demands for material things, no high and unreasonable expectations, truly being there through the thick and thin so far, the maturity, the capability of hers to keep clam and to see through the good of people despite the bad in them, her credibility to remain faithful in this relationship with me though there are so many out there better than me and for those who are on standby to take her as soon as I go, for a whole personality so far despite the irritate able times and misunderstandings. Your goodness shines through and most importantly, I see and realize it. I love you baby girl, Sin Yee.

Spit the thought and it gets worst than you thought.

2009-09-14T16:47:00.009+08:00

Neither the time nor the place.

2009-09-12T23:03:00.000+08:00

So far it's been a tough and dry holidays so far except of course for little fun times with the family, friends and lovergirl.

Three weeks gone by but neither work nor play has been fulfilled. Fyp is on a slow, real slow again, leaves me in a daze to wonder what do people around and I, do really want. Most times we share so many things in common, that same shape and that same commonly goals; to pass, to score, to make it well in life but as we pave our pavements, we tend to slip, slip from the needs and wants of achieving those darn goals.

The attempt to place hope and believe in a simple phase I came across in one of my close church friend's post, " Everything will be okay in the end, if it's not okay it's not the end." However, it struck me, how much I place more hope in the second part of that phase, "If it's not okay it's not the end." A lot of things and matters are not excatly okay for me, is it not the end? But there were many times before that I was all okay, couldn't life just leave it as that? I know, that there is so much more than to being just "okay." Sad though when finally achieving, everything's okay, it ends. So my hopes pressures that if it's not okay it's not the end, because many parts of me prefers perfection, my thoughts and actions towards myself and still to others, even; I want to. Some other parts of me urges myself to be okay simply or whatever others may want to call it, I want it to end.

Rankbound.

2009-09-12T22:50:00.000+08:00

YV.

Dear YV came to a common ground. A place, a smell and the tension too firmiliar, this time a topic of mergence between another youth community and mine.

Results - YV remains.

Details - Let's just say I dont want to do a wordy post this time. For good or for worst, time is never fails to tell. Selfish or not, and the 'why and hows' of fellow yv's and my decision fails to piece a full picture to me yet or will it?

Yv's second family, it couldnt still be or be a even bigger one if we merged?

It's difficult going through rounds of getting to know people, each other again, it's different. How different and how difficult?

We'll change. When and how much change will make a difference as a whole and an individual?

Side a two year foresee, forsee next year, same time. Where's YV?

I have been on both side of the fence, I have provided my sharings, my care and concerns, I have led in sessions, camps, an event, I have played roles I didn't think I would have played after being confirmed, socially and spirtiually and most importantly kept this community in prayers. But I too have gone away not totally lost but away, some may call it missing in action (MIA-ing). Being there but not there physically plays much difference I came to realize more in this coummunity. I stand convicted with my choice, bending with the wind can be overwhelming but in the end, the final choice sinked in.

As YV ages, many would agree the bad in it should age and go but the good to age to mature.

The boys and girls that you do not know.

2009-09-02T12:45:00.004+08:00

FYP mates.

Chem class.

There goes Year 3's semester one. Admist the drama, stress, excitement, tention, politics, extremely tough calculations, friendships, love, boredom, cold and hard feels, circuits and whatever else. It comes down to the grades thus far and the final semester before adulthood.

Goodbye memos, that is what it will only be.

The holidays would be so much better without math. Oh wells.

Out with.

2009-09-02T10:57:00.004+08:00

Electronics Engineers.
Mechanical Engineers.

Computer Engineers.

Communications Engineer.

Civil Engineer.

AeroEngineers.

We all know what's life without but still we lack to know the life without complains.

You dont.

2009-08-03T12:36:00.000+08:00

You don't have to.
You wont have to know.
You dont have to worry.
You cant be me.
Maybe that's the good part.
But you wont be me.
You dont have to scream when no ones listening.
You dont have to think thoughts because of someone else's shortcoming.
You dont have to feel how caged up I've been.
You dont have to go back to my years at my age at this time to feel how I feel.
You cant trip like I trip cause when you fall you fell, I got up.
You dont have itch and you dont have cuts.
You dont need to recover and you dont need to keep bleeding.
You are clueless and dont know you are weaker.
You fail to see you are wrong, though the pair of eyes you know you are blind.
You fail to see you are weaker.
You fail to see that money is not everything although it seems like everything.
You fail to see your years of planning may fail like how you will.
You fail to perform the role you are given, you are centred and selfless.
You do what you think is right but your right is half wrong.
You act as if you know a lot in fact people around are too shock to correct you, again and again.

You dont know, you just judge while your judgement's unsound.
You can't trust cause you cant trust yourself.
You are political and politics just gets to you because you think you were the player but the rest plays you.
You point the finger but when you alone you see the fingers pointing back.
You hide behind a mask which reveals you.

You are alwasy something less and nothing more.

All the world's a stage and you arent a player.

2009-07-06T14:28:00.002+08:00

N97 is the awaited and the wait is almost over.

It has the specs that kills and places almost all other phones to be something with "less".

The biggest competitor to iphone 3g s and has a one up already against it in various ways though the iphone's pretty good shit too so to HTC phones but it still outshines to my personal liking.

http://www.digitgeek.com/nokia-n97-compared-with-iphone-xperia-x1-g1/

http://www.nokia.com.sg/find-products/products/nokia-n97/specifications

I will miss my memories with my N95 but finally something more and different after the 2 years of N95 and it's time to side slides and touch screen.

Great and many thanks to my mum!

Picture of it should be up soon if not enjoy it through checking it out on the web. The best phone from Nokia yet.

Bullet through ya.

2009-06-13T16:38:00.002+08:00

Dissolving in negative thoughts.

The fear.

What might have I gotten into.

Can't just do a coin filp.

Talior make, where's my sewing kit?

Messed.

Still hungry.

Chain saw.

2 face.

Smoke.

Surround surround need a reboot chip.

Redbull.

Give me wings.

Superficial very superficial

2009-04-01T17:34:00.002+08:00

Personally.

Conicidently
the
100th
post,
I note down a little more
about me.
Someone who may not be all that's it seems.

Travelling through the 19++ years wasnt always a smooth ride neither was it torn or bitter as war to an extend. The early years seem to be best to what I can recall. Those days without worries, without politics and well the absence of responsibilities gave the reasons not to have any of those. Coming out of that brittel shell I came out wondering like anyone would, as what the world and years ahead has installed.

My mind however, chose to only identify the dark, negative and sad versions of life. I still recall clearly my saddness and pain back in those young and fragile years of foundation that I and most would have urged to rush out of to get a taste of the world, as an adult without or few restrains. Recalls of betrayal, hate, jealousy, envy, pride, suicidal drawings, emotional music and distaseful thoughts which done seem to fade away as fast as good and bright moments.

Like a prisoner bound and enclosed by walls and iron bars, little light and just that one door. As early as primary 2 or 8 years old my parents and I figured I had a skin condition - Eczema. Up to 12 years later - present I still suffer from this shortcoming, the agony of the itch, the flames of rashes and the disability of freely running and freely consuming. In line unfortunately, I have sensitive nose. These two brought about limitations especially in areas I could have excel in. My love for sports took a slow after the condition got worse, it took me out of school for a few days, days which was pretty important for N level's and it took me out of Singapore Nationals (besides the laziness and I guess a little pressure from it all.) I was in for 800m for the Nationals and what more for missed medals at sports events and days, I was a mid-dis and a high jumper. I would love to remove the 'was.' It stopped me from being more casual, more confident and limits me to do many other activities such as trying out new sports and to widen my variety of foods.

Grey skies return once in awhile and it's a bitch. I fail to know happiness and do not seem to remember when was the last time I had my tummy ache with true laugher, tear for joy or just to float away without any worries or the visions of any grey-ness in the skies in true bliss and sense of accomplishment. Shadows of others enveloped the presence of me. The slow one, with no short cuts, little value and just there to add a dull colour to the diversity of others. I was never good in anything. It's the traits of many but the master of none. I took N levels, almost made it to express in sec 1 done the O's and clearly it was either Poly or less. Outshine because I had the 'lazy' or 'just not determine or motivated enough' disease. Lost out to others, missed creating and/or sustaining relationships with friends, expressing the real me as I was held back just a little to tight. I could'nt breathe. I would scream, shout, punch and bleed my anger and diappointment out.

It was a tough lesson to learn how to smile willingly without unkind thoughts and force. To see the child and innocence in others, to see the loving GOD in them as they were created. Through many more situations, I knew and understood many alike me, some worst and some just created and trapped in. I became the advisor, the presenter, the acting pillar for others close to me no matter what I would lend a hand or two if possible. But I was'nt all those roles to myself, where's mine? Maybe I just like to keep it in, boil it a little and explode within with it.

Dear thief in the night, why did you steal my happiness? Who did you give it to and sometime right now you should return what isnt yours. Or am I the thief, I might have stolen yours and I returned it? How then do I find mine, fine me? Must I be ready to know me? I dont feel ready, is that why I do not know who I am? Didnt think I have any problems with my identity. When's time over, so I could walk out of that one door to find many others that's open and can help open? I find no problem dressed in colours but comfortable any time in all black. I do not want to remember what I odd to forget, I do not want to forgive because I wasnt in the wrong, I do not want pity I sincerely do not need it. Why are my torns cutting my flesh instead of protecting me from danger? If I can lack in something why couldnt I lack this pain, disability of my own doing but it's as if it couldnt be controlled. Am I in a game played by your rules and custom to your play?

On the 100th post to this 3/4 emotional, superficial blog and angry/fearful/hateful notes. I let you know, he is not what he seems if you think I know richness, happiness and bliss. He can be misjudged many times, but I feed you vital information that when the hornet is cornered, it will sting. If I were you, I'd would rearrange my thoughts and think twice or thrice if you think you really know me and have seen my weakness because you'd be miserably be mistaken. Though I have not seen much of the world, I have been to places many wouldnt because of ignorance or excellent fortune. I have seen, played, lost and won many 'games' and I know the game you are playing dont be overconfident with your cards played, dont judge the family, size of brain or the wallet wrongly because the grey skies might be upon you sometime too. You get all the way up fast but the harder and faster the fall.

I thought it was a nightmare that I could wake up from but before I pinch my cheeks to check if it's reality, I stopped because I might wake up to what's worst. Life, when will I be done, what's left, why am I here I didnt need to know emotions neither did I want to find out who I am, scared you may mock, yes - fear, dont you? Fear anyways is a tool to guide and warn.

You don't know me and I might just change the mask to suit the occasion, your game your rules but just like characters in the game when chosen wrongly can loose you rounds, again and again.

Justin C Tristan Xaiver JW? Who's he?

Electronic girl

2009-03-17T04:12:00.001+08:00

In the darkness when all's asleep, I creep up to my laptop and found myself tapping keys to update my blog and cyber down my thoughts.

This post is particularly special because it's being typed in by my new laptop. I probably told the tragic story of how my old laptop stopped working once too many times but I shall type it all out to share the pain. My Sony Vaio Laptop FE series kind of passed away slowly after I did a hardcore anit-virus scan. Since I hadnt scan the laptop in weeks or months after plugging in various thumbdrives, hard disc, emails, msn sharing and downloads; did the full scan down of the system.

The anit-virus dug out 3 to 4 virus files named, 'WIN32.' To my knowledge(after I deleted those files), these kind of files do actually have an disabling effect which affects software and hardware in different cases.

In my case, after I deleted those files which I thought was normal virus file forms such as 'worm' or 'Trojan Horse' my laptop took a 'fall.' The next day I came to realize the graphics was a grade lower. Thinking I could get it fixed over free time back at school's IT helpdesk, I lived with the hazy displays. My 'Shift" keys gave me problems the next time I switched my laptop on, it's weird at times to think not 1 but 2 shift keys cant work at once. But then again, the tracks of the shift keys may be linked mechanically and electronically, so one fault will lead to both the malfunction. At that time it got me thinking, school's not going to be of help since now it's a hardware problem.

To add in to this adversity, the warranty was vaild only for a year, my laptop's 2 years old - just 2 years by the way. As I was busy with others plans and work called upon me, I dragged the problem living with no CAP letters at the start of each sentence and others; one recent post was typed on that laptop, the last it did. The laptop gave up after I swtiched it on about 2 days of non-usage after all that's happened. I could not even enter the Clt, Alt and Delete keys to access main desktop display and had to force it to shut down by holding the 'on/off' button for a few seconds.

Alarmed at such stages this virus does to my laptop was painful. It wasnt only the pain in the pocket from the price my mum had to put in to purchase it but it was also the 2 years of sentiment. All my time with it, school, home, doing projects, creating vids, doing presentations, watching movies and blasting music. My actions were to bring it to school to see if they have some disc or codes which they could enter into my laptop through it's 'backdoor.' It couldnt, therefore a reformat disc was the final bet. It seemed like it was working, my hopes got me to forget how hungry I was missing my usual lunch time for this.

However, I was called back way too early to collect my laptop since I knew reformatting would take at least 3 hrs, it was only half an hr. The problem - the CD driver stopped working after awhile, it was okay but it stopped after spinning a few rounds. It was all the same after I rushed down to Sony @ Wisma. For an uncertain excellent recovery result of my laptop I had to get it checked in to Sony's technical team which will then inform me what they think is wrong and how must it will cost. Sounds to me the the 'think' is wrong part is an assumption and the 'cost' an estimate. The price of the repair with a slight more top ups could get me a new set with better updated technology, so it was a decision to make. If I do check it in with Sony to wait and see the estimated cost it will take about a week or to check it in without going on with the repair, will be a $65 service charge plus darn GST.

My mum decided to get me a new one, (I realized awhile ago, it's a very long technical story of mine but let me let it out eh!) So appropriate for the IT fair to fall just in time for some comparisons and considerations of brands and models. IT fair didnt have the effect it had on 740 thousand people than it had to me, the only thing was the free gifts which wasnt really a good deal at all, to think of it because in a way it's all under the cost you are paying, get more gifts because of the fact you are going to have to pay more isnt it? Going through the ugly manner kind of crowd, the mass production of electrical goods just for it wouldnt make it all special and nice. It was a real travel to Best Denki to set out for a choice of either a Fujitsu or Sony. Ended up at Sony Paragon despite what has happened. This proves that the brand, realibility, marketing skills and accessibility plays a huge part. CS series was what I got, it runs on a 4G RAM, the space of 250G and speeds at 2.26GHz, bluetooth, HD audio and LCD display, recovery system and a whole lot of smart tech for about a slight more of half of what my mum paid for the pervious laptop which crashed on me.

Now the fear is to format it to a new OS which I think isnt an upgrade just a format by school so as to enable me to sit for my test for the final year. Since this laptop brand isnt what school is totally firmiliar with some of my laptop drivers may stop functioning, such as Audio and/or Camera. I'm pretty delighted and I would say fortunate to have a new laptop and having the choice is most important. I thank the Lord and my mum the most for everything, every effort in getting me this new one. Besides some nags, feeling bad/sad and the heartache from the pocket hole, it's really nice to think of me, my well being in school and all- big thank you mum and dear Lord. Also to all who cared for my laptop, gave suggestions and patiently wait to make up my mind like my Dad, Sis, Baby, Sarah, Daryl, Gab and Uncle. Another fear it's that this new laptop has to go through the final year with me which means, more Engineering programs to be running, more places it has to go due to class/s and FYP which leads to increasing care for it. Oh well, it has to be taken care of and be kept well always anyways.

I will have to decide if the rescue is still on for my old laptop because it will be such a waste, the components in there are very much fresh given the way I dont stress my laptop out with games and hardcore design programs or anything much. Moreover, the home can put the laptop into good use as well.

What are the things in this world of ours in general can we do without getting MONEY invovled!?(I meant doing happy things and getting out there enjoying, so on.) I dont have a million now but hey, I bet it's a million dollar question! (See what I mean about everything's money?) - (Freaking ironic.)

The ships.

2009-03-10T18:33:00.001+08:00

Relationships.

Well I am not the best at relationships, do not have a big ego at it but neither will I say I'm lousy at it.

I see the beauty and yet the ugliness of people, try to read them and see their reactions, their responses and even doubt my own at times. I just cannot find the right words to express how I feel about people neither can I find the right or most important words to express my thoughts or the way I see things and think. Neither will I expect anyone to see what I see. But sometimes what I read of others is so true that I could only believe in myself in thinking the way I think, I grew out of my childhood pretty fast I would say, not that I didnt enjoy it or anything, I just felt more matured than others and saw things in a higher prespective than others my age back then. I met or I actually realized politics as young as 13. Some may have earlier of course.

Therefore, in relation I come back to the hot topic about relationships. My early apologies if it's offensive, untrue, baseless facts or just the fact readers dont see eye to eye. It's plain, simple and in my opinon.

Well, a pretty old saying goes which can be a little overrated or irritating is that, 'it takes two to clap." As in the real kinda clap, appluad type. In case some didnt see the whole meaning to the word clap due to its subjective meaning to others out there.

To me, in a relationship there's 2 significant individuals of the opposite sex having the same feelings for each other. There's a doubt in what I have just mentioned, I feel that in one way or another overtime, one will have, sustain or dropped certain feelings due to the age of the relationship which of course are caused by various reasons, responsibilties, taking the other partner for granted and so on. I would say, in a lovely relationship it might just take 2 with the same feelings to go deeper into things but it will take one at least to have a stronger feeling for the other to make it work long term. Having it this way will carry the relationship on going, creating a chance where the other with the lesser feeling realized how much effort it is to keep a stronger feeling, which then creates a time for a transformation to relief the one who takes the effort and now carry on the lead. To reaffirm what the other party is doing which is what really is right and worth keeping the affair on.

By far many couples will have found out that we cannot say enough or stress how important certain common elements must be there to prove real love in the relationship. So there goes again for me to say a few that's important to me the way I see it. Committment, Trust, Endurance, Communication, Prioritizing, Patience, Faithfulness and Time. I cannot really rate them in order because if the relationships is healthy and all good, all will fall into place at once, of course some will learn each element later and when the situation is right for the placement of use but yet if one know of these why not all at once? Just having these few elements will then transform the couple to love and hopes will keep it up to unconditional and lasting love which will automatically bring in others such as great communication and understanding, great sex and the loving kind of family created.

But in a relationship, there's of course the time limitations, the distraction, the temptation, the freedom, the family, the years or months of it, the fear, the hurt, the betrayal, the security, the money, the future and the benefits.

I wouldnt have the time or the real ability to break them all down in critical analysis so just it can only sit here in my blog. But I guess some will understand what I am getting at. For some couples, security is what they see that's important. A girl for instance will look for a man who has something stable that can be a career or a attribute that she's in love with and see that she can grow old with. One's something that is material the other something that will care, either of which she has will also still have the possibility of giving her a good life. Money will be enough to show care and care will be something that will pursue or motivate the man to up keep his partner, it's just what some prefers. Benefits for instance, in a man will look for his lady with good set of skills to be a mother of his child and possibly a sexy figure he can enjoy and is proud about to show her off. All of which I just stated might not be the way each of the other partners will want to be, the man might not want to be the soul provider, the lady might not just want to be a sex figure with motherly skills.

In a relationship, one must really know what he/she wants and most importantly needs. Then choose or arrange them in order by years for example. Because, if you choose to be in a serious relationship, it has to be well planned, heck what fate has got or do not rely that everything will simply fall in place. No one can say when they are going to get married for sure or how long the marriage will last, or start a family at that excact time and place. The plan is to have a plan in the first place to start a tentative structure. For if I get into a relationship and find that I should have taken more time to mingle and enjoy what life can give then you may hurt the other, but if you dont hurt the other, your life wouldnt be in place, the years will go by and what one may have or can feel back then might not in furture. Or what if, if I have given myself more time, will I have found the real right one, but than again if I let this go, will I loose the real right one I have already found? It gets more complicated as it goes, rules to follow, enthics, morales to up keep, sins one ought not to do or disappointment to others and thier lover. Simply, that's why communication will come in play - keep up in knowing each other through and through then if one finds it troubling so then understanding comes in play. If it's hurting then endurance will teach and might help lead the way for the better. Committment then will teach to use time wisely to give the proper attention to each other, now that would be in place wouldnt it?

Couples should not only look into the interest of oneself but more so their partner, because if it's two that's in love, then it wouldnt be so difficult to give. It wouldnt be so difficult to believe, to trust, to satisfy, to guide and to take. In a relationship, both parties usually wants or needs to know how much they are in control. Thus, more commonly a lady will want to know where her man is every now and then, wants to know if the cash is flowing in and the savings are in place for her kids now or in future. More commonly too for a man, is to know where is his lady's whereabouts, to know no other man can be an option and to know her responses are true to him. But, no one wants to be controlled and that's when the problems function. Commonly for a man is his ego, he wants to keep up well, he should loose to no one in terms of home matters such as making love, being the right father and someone who will stand up for his convictions even if it goes against his lover's idea or thoughts. He will listen to his lady but will not give in totally either. Alike goes for a lady, I feel, she will want him to listen totally to her ideas, plans and will take whatever she can control. This is occasionally bad and empty excuses will be made such as, "I thought it was of the best interest of us." but actually it was only for one's interest."

Hence, the give and take method comes into play, healthy or not healthy it may work but how long if it's played unhealty, is the standing fighter to take down. The man can allow in his lady's interest but only if the lady allows his. Thus, bottom line I do this for you, you do this for me, then when is it real, when I say I love you because I do and not because you said it so I say it back? Worst still when it happens for everything else because then real needs of feelings wont be met. I simply had sex with you because you wanted it, I simply called you to tell you where I was because I wanted to know where you were too. So when does it come to doing the right actions because of the impluse of love and not one for one motives? It can grow into worse cases, oh I called only to know you are alone in bed after your tiring day of work while I am out with my girlfriends but actually not, she's out finding someone else her boyfriend has lost giving so much, vice versa.

So what is it we all want, be it in a relationship now or wanting to start one, what are the things we need to give up and what are the things we will feel so incredibily good when in a relationship? Is it because you have been together for quite some time that you are stuck with each other? Or is it because you are afraid to loose what you think is the best for you? Or is it because everyone you know has a partner or is it because you think you cannot get any better, or you are just too afraid to let go but just to settle in to love one another but not to be IN love with?

A relationship is like a plant, with care it will grow, with time it will mature, with suffient love it can bloosom its flowers, with water it can be refreshed, with understanding of its nature it will last, with grace it will stop passerbys to admire, to cherish it will remain in heart even after it's gone.

Yet, to be neglected the new leaves struggle to grow, with other plants to look after the roots to weak to hold, the time to short to know and understanding's weak so it's sunlight's too overwhleming to take dries up and the lack of trust forces it to grow changes it's pot too big it, fell out the window.

He should not indulge in sin.

2009-03-10T13:32:00.002+08:00

Slides by the 2nd week of March. I've finally got to keep myself a little occupied as I had to work 3 extra hrs for 3 days last week. All in all including travel time I'm probably out for at least 9 hrs, that's pretty good considering the slack I have been at home, pretty much doing nothing, not even to update my blog daily or every other day kinda thing.

Work has been alright, glad to be doing something different in a day and back to making those calls, trying to learn how to use better phrases by myself to get better response. It did work but into getting real appointments made, still lay in the economic situation the World's in. The office will be shifting nearer, more convenient to travel in line if I do work after school as well but till I get to see the new office, I am not sure when. I am currently off this week as they will be busy settling in setting the phone lines, tables and such.

Due to work in the afternoons and evenings, my meet up with baby wasnt really possible, as she is already tired out before I could start on my second shift in the night. But I guess we had a good meet up with my friends and I last Friday and Sat. Mixing around and learning more on a thing or 2.

Sunday, I attended mass and headed for session as well. Session activity was to write down our Lentern resolutions or anything oneself might wanna do during the season of Lent and then share it as a community. The number of turn out was pretty good I would dare say. I felt I did a pretty good reflection in the midst of others chit chattering. I actually draw a mind map which depic the '10 rules/disciplines' whatever I wanted to name it and shared it with YV.

For example, I shared that I should not hesitate to help. An example I gave, - it's sometimes a little fustrating to help and not get what you expect, I am not saying things such as 'thank yous' and 'oh sure a brillant boy, your parents taught you well.' sort of thing many of us would want to hear. Its the unexpected anger or moodiness you get from helping them, in other word ungrateful. Such when you might wanna help an elderly cross the road, carrying a load you think is too heavy for them to be carrying without aid. But then again, if you actually help, a possible response might be, ' Aye boy/girl, you think I old ar? I dont need your help... and mumbles behind your back.' Now that will not only hurt or anger, for some it might have an effect whereby that one person might not lend a hand ever again, if this passes on, we will all be living alone as lonly as it already feels in this cold world.

Just yesterday, my girlfriend had an expreience with a similiar situation herself. Halfway rushing to catch an earlier train to work, an old man stopped her for directions one too many times and gave the look as if he wanted her to walk him to his desired location he was searching for. Unfortunatly, she couldn't given the time limitations. Before she could get to walk a few steps away, he then asked her for money showing her in his hands he had less than 2 dollars worth of coins, asking for more because he wanted to eat. My baby refused and quicky tried to make up for lost time in her rush. Before she got off sight of the old man, he scolded her in muffled words.

Imagine, trying your best to give good directions, having to give up a little more time which mean to pick up extra speed later to help and scolding is all you get in return. It can affect feelings and the thought can remain in one's mind for awhile, bringing back anger and such. In addition to the incident, he mentioned that the house/location he was looking for was his daughter's who's going overseas soon. Sometimes, we can't help to think, if it's his daughter's house, how could he have gotten lost? Or if she's capable to have a house of her own and head overseas, why was he in need of money? This will all lead to other thoughts which then we can easily be accused of thinking bad about others, gossiping
and having no respect and whatever else.

The morale of the story should be clear and simple, if one wants to help without hesitation, one should bare the unexpected and no matter what, having in mind the thought of helping in that help is all too good enough and to not let such an incident lead one not to help again or spoilt one's day. I shared another 9 thereafter, in which I reflected and thought to myself I should have made my sharing more clear than how clear I thought it was but I guess if I could get through to at least a few of my YV members, I should be delighted enough.

"People, created our own fear, live in denial, cause our own lost, found power to destroy, found crimes to create guilt, cheat to betray, hate and jeaslousy to start war, wait till it's too late, look down to feel better, saw and hear less to not know more, isolate to not face truth, fit in to cover up, found reasons to lie, found tears that wasnt cry, found laughter in expense, party to find loniess, let loose to endanger and love to be loved back the way it shouldnt really be."

the boy from the other door.

2009-02-28T17:00:00.001+08:00

Oh, the holidays have been alright, but not all that exciting or it being placed to very good use. moreover, my laptop has a key problem, both my 'shift' keys arent working and my graphics has been down to grade one. so excuse the absence of question marks, exclamation marks, capitol letters and stuff, hell i even had to copy and paste the 'at' symbol from word doc to sign in to my email and others.

results are out and it's not all that well and improved - the gpa remained the same from year 2 sem 1, there were improvements i saw however, one reason i can think of to explain the static gpa is that i had one less module in sem 2 to sem 1 therefore, though the improvements it was 1 module less. not so proud and it troubles me sometimes to think that year 3 is on its way and modules will probably be tougher, class might or might not be ideal same goes for facilitators and my fyp team is not very responsive at all. to add on, my laziness isnt helping either. i just wanna enjoy my last long poly hols yet i have all these at the back of my mind. man, all this growing up with more worries and responsibilties.

well jan 09' was good enough, feb just keeps going fast with events after events. ever since christmas, all events moved as if in a day had less than 24 hrs. birthdays, celebrations, new years, month anniversaries, valentines and planned outings with family and friends. all i could do is savour and cherish those times and for others to come. most of my feb days have been home, i have totally facebook enough each day, repetition of songs which i enjoy and now can sing/rap some word for word from all my boredom and free time. work has been postponded from a month to a few more weeks before i can really begin, cash has been a tight issue and really thanks to my mum, dad and baby to place in enough/share. though sometimes it's only just enough, it still gets me through some days being okay giving up doing some activities.

happy birthday people of the month, shuping, dalvin, ainsley and freeman.

one of the many meets up after her internship, more or less every other day to accompany her for dinner and catch ups.

the family sundays came back after a while. sentosa cove and others. cove's the dream crib for now, breath taking and imagine having to own not only a fancy resisdence there but a yatch, one degree 15 membership and a whole lot more.

there was a lack or no photos at freeman's so we had our own after his 21st party at springbloom, it was good to see freely all happy and his bday speech was actually pretty touching and with his style of funniness, it was all good.

the thursday night chill out with baby along, it was a pretty good one with lotsa looking back and some new stories of our own to baby from the all boys school days.

yoga lin, an invite by baby from nebo's private event. he's a pretty young and upcoming singer out there in asia i am guessing.

valentine's. trying not to fall into the over ratted name of the day, we had a pleasant picnic. she had her fyp meeting in the morning so i guess it wasnt all lovely in the morning part for her. before our picnic we actually ended ourselves at burger king for 'fire meets desire' promo for valentines giving out a perfume which has a seductive scent with a hint of flamming grill burgers which came along with the purchase of a couple meal. added something new to having lock lips in front of their cameras and live video but we left early before we could be interviewed. all to help my sis valentines gift to her bf. lastly, this perfume item cost us80 to 90 dollars. boyfriends smelling like burgers make their girlfriends hungry for food not them, humm...

valentines night at the night safari, nice experience and great time and that was about it for valentines 09. glad to have it planned hand in hand with baby and she being my valentine just made the day more meaningful though love should always in air we breathe all days. love you hard and with all my heart baby girl. hope you enjoyed yourself, love the suprises and cherish the moments with me - your valentine.

15th.

dal's 21st.

Y to the Z node.

2009-02-08T03:17:00.003+08:00

Surprisingly the Lunar New Year carried on for more than just the usual 1st and 2nd day. It was pretty much a little rest on the 3rd where I was suppose to take my parents out for a movie but I ended up being lazy and it was all day Dvd and Laptop work.

4th day, it was finally time for baby's return from Msia. Right back and she didnt miss her bed or home more than she had miss me, thus she being sweet requested to see me as soon for the night, joining my fellas and I for dinner, game of table soccer, pool and good rounds of Blackjack. Prior all that, the day was spent walking many kilometers with Dalvin shopping in town, he spent loads just for his Bday, something I will take months to consider or even so not consider at all. Ha.

5th day was a steamboat invite over at baby's, 2nd time there this time with her whole imediate family and a cousin, mandarin speaking FYI, goodness. It was good dinner and time though, thank you uncle and aunty so to you of course, lover girl. Blackjack was the addiction for days, played along with her bro and cousin and left for a late night movie.

6th day - Youth Vineyard's 4th Year Anni. Great gathering, pleasant catchups, tasteful food, a little time in reflection and praise, bundles of laughter in the midst and a whole new level of fun in blackjack. There was the Mahjong gang and Blackjacks. Me being in the Blackjacks, it was all morning action, being Catholics yet joking around with luck and good positions to win, Gambling in the Dargon's Den but out came an Ox, Marvin might have been the cause of a little change of luck. From switching places to shuffling the deck at specific number of times oh and shouting "Huat ar!" seems to be the name of the game instead of "21!" Happy 4th Year it was. Praise God, we suprised, remain the cool community and proved many wrong.

7th day where some chinese says it's known as everyones' Bday, my parents planned on a good simple dinner with thier childern's lovers invited thus, sister's boy and Sin Yee came to join in, so did my sis boy's brother too. Thanks much to my mum for the generous idea and for really making the effort in events like these playing alongside my dad too. Earlier in the afternoon, had a more than a decade friend made family friend, visit, while baby was over at my place too. Joined the interesting coversations after mine with baby, the uncle spoke stories of spirits, how God comes into bodies and evil doing likewise, knowing that in a new house one may be living in the storeroom and such. Even mentioned eeri stuff about teli-tub-bis(dont remember how to spell that "kids' show) walking around opening drawings, eating downstairs while people were fast asleep, owners threw these toys away but the next day it returned at its original place. Right now, at 3am I can feel my hair stand just blogging about it.

So the new week arrives, quickly 2 weeks of my holidays went by.

The 2nd wasnt packed as much as the 1st but I will blog on that alittle later.

Right now, I find the time to blog congrats to baby for achieving her internship with EPCOS. Out of at least 150 students in her course alone, 3 was given this opportunity with the company. I feel for her when it comes to being nervous, thinking about the whole 1o weeks of holidays gone with working about more than 8hrs during weekdays and such. However, realisticly it will make an impact to her resume besides the usual events and work that she has accumulated over years so far. The experience and encountering what others cannot for now or wont in future is priceless. Despite the shortcoming of having to make extra time needed off to keep up with her fast and hardcore FYP team and faci, it's still killing 2 big birds with one stone. Love, you got to know that it's will turn out good and I know you can handle it better than you think. Though I could only be your ears, shoulders and your advisor/manager in certain areas, I hope that will keep you strong and go through each day getting more and more use to and it will be 10 weeks of good experience alongside responsibility, management and shaping you up for the future! Congrats, love you will do good.

Why search the prefect

2009-01-29T00:14:00.000+08:00

A few pics will be up but all have been on Facebook. To be a little faster and systematic this is most of my Jan 09'.

Many chill out days with baby, a photoshoot with her for my school's magazine, theme about Love. Skipping of school for other plans and rest. Out with family and once together with my sister's bf and others.

10th - Mark's place for his 21st.

My Birthday - 18th Jan
Day 1 of it - Family to Malaysia, JB took the MRT, Bus and the Railway(KMT) it was a surprise by my family. Tricked me to wake up at 7am, took me to the Gardens market for Breakfast, asked me to take along my bag and taadaa we are going to Malaysia, did not see how it will be much of my day as my sis will be the one enjoying all the shopping alongside my mum haha. But it was pretty much all good. Good affordable food, got a pair of limted Nike Air Jordans and tops, tried the train for the 1st time, overall the adventure was good. Oh and by the time we arrived back home, along the way down the lane, midnight strike happy birthday to me was while I was walking back home, how odd or funny was that and for the record it is the 1st time is many years I'm out on my birthday at 12midnight. The usual celebration came, cut the cake, made a wish and opened the presents oh as if it was Christmas. Thank you, Mum, Dad and Sis for making it all good. The effort was better I must say usually it's just lunch or dinner. Haha. Love you'all. Special thanks to my mum and sis for the idea. To my dad and mum for the pair of shoes. Great stuff.

Day 2 (actual day) - Full day out with love. Despite sleeping late my alarm clock happen to do its job real well, maybe I was looking forward in many ways with baby aye. Got up about 6plus to attend 7am mass and my mum came along with me, thanks for always being there! Thereafter, it was already time to head off to meet her, Volvo Ocean Race was what we needed to catch early as they planned to head off by 10am, got there on time and it was really nice and something real new to see there, 1st time by Singapore and is already in the list probably by SSC to host it here. Great place Sentosa Cove. Was able to be a little more proud of Singapore because of the awesome plan by baby, which allowed me to complete what Sentosa had installed for many years and finally I am taken to it. Took,visited,climbed, enjoyed,experienced, learnt and what not for all the stops we made.

Sky Tower

Merlion

Moonlight/Luge and Skyride

Underwater World

Dolphine Lagoon

Insect Kingdom

Song of the Sea

More than 12hrs out in the sun, moving around, taking lotsa photos and so on wasnt all that easy after many hours caused me a bad headache and runny nose during the night pains me to spoil the plan! Pls no more of this headaches for me man, argh. Sorry my love, but I have to say lucky it was till the end of all the places we went so that it wasnt much of any waste. At the last hour of my birthday itself I returned home only to cherish everything that was done for me. I recieved a card from YV too when I arrived back thank you all so much. I must say I am alittle disappointed you guys werent part of it more so it was a Sunday and I could remember NYNY for Mark and I too last year. Though, I was busy or if there was a plan in the first place but thanks much for all those wishes which came in non stop from you members of Yv. Belated!? Haha. Hints.

Thanks to all for the many wishes be it by SMS, FB wall and msg, all the other modes and personal wishes, thank you.

Big huge thanks to family and my love Sinyee.

Thank you love, the plan, effort, presents oh they are good/useful stuff! The thought the amount of time off you took before the day itself and on the day itself where you always place that smile on my face, nose running, head spinning but the smile still on because of you my sweetheart lover girl. Even forced yourself for the Insect kingdom really appreciated, all in the name of what I enjoy and like. Big hugs and sincere kisses. My mum too must have thought you done well for bringing her boy out for the whole day enjoying which made me skip school the next day recovering for sleep! Winks.

Now to all other friends for the Jan babies. Happy birthday to Mitch, Aud, Sheryl, Mark, Bowen, Lydia, Xiu Qi and Daryl.

Ended Year 2 - 23rd Jan

24th @ Timbre with the boys and my girl for the belated celebration of my birthday and the coming for Daryl's. Good'o time and gather the army talk between the guys who hasnt entered and so on. Thanks baby for following and blending in with my list of the closer guy friends. So when with all your pretty lady friends huh? Oops. Timbre wasnt all that good, the service greeted me oddly and it seems to have some security issues either than that band was 3 stars and food was 3.5 out of 5.

CNY 25th - Reunion, 26th and 27th - Visits. Had a long visit at each house which cut the other visits down which mean less people met and less Ang Bao and also meant more munching of goodies when the boredom kicks in, skinny me but poor fatty tummy. Good gathers, some bad politics and readings of people and from people but damn that and remain positive. 27th, glad that my uncle is fine from his operation, family friend and to Sarah's. Good time catching up pretty much just with Sarah and Jared but good and many rounds of blackjack with the rest, Earned some and shared some, haha not many will agree with the shared part though haha and an invisible uncle Eddie.

So what's next? A few Bday Parties, Valentines, family trip to Hong Kong and that's about it for now, I hope to have more though. Being busy can be less tiring than just slacking. 24 series is still the addiction, 3 more seasons to go, do the math.

For my Baby Boy : Justin Choo JW TX

2009-01-18T00:00:00.001+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!Happy 20 Birthday! May you have the enjoyable day, good health, stay happy, always be positive, Be yourself and believe in yourself in everything you do and do the best out of everything =)

I LOVE YOU,

Thanks for everything which god has given to me and that person is YOU, someone special, someone who I love! 20 years back, this naughty baby boy (Justin) was born and given to your Parents. This boy has bring a lot of joy and laughter to everyone around him, esp to his family and me =) Don't ever give up on anything, because everyone around you will always give you the support and will in anything you do! Everyone cares and loves you!

God bless you.

Sign Off: Your Baby! Loves <3

2 decades.

2009-01-03T19:57:00.001+08:00

Well well the year 2008 has come to an end and I welcome 2009. I cannot deny that I am as excited as afraid for what it is ahead. With year 3, its modules and the final year projects. Family and love ones in bond and understanding as well as friends. It may be the usual stuff to worry about however, these issues can break or make me. Friends in itself has been tricky for me for many years and I am sure for the many years to come. Trust is an issue and I hope my good will or generousity will not be taken as weaknesses because there you might be wrong.

2008 ended and what came into my mind wasnt just the fact of what it is to come in 2009 because I compared it with 2007 and some years back, say a five-year kinda like assessment of value for those years. It turned out to be, I may have better years than 2008 but the fact is those year behind was when I was still in my teenage happy go lucky way of life. Deeper I thought of them the more I find out, I am stronger maybe not in term, physically because that is what I have to work on, appearantly, my skin condition and laziness got the better of me, but I must say it has to change. Moving on, I realized I was able to pick up my mistakes, be angry with it for awhile and then just move on from it, such as my past, the many things I left behind, unspoken and also some of the failures of my education route. I stood up from all my falls and it would be the same for any other falls.

Last year, I entered into Year 2 of my polytechnic life with modules which were of my course, Biomedical Electronics. It freaks the hell out of me because I know it is going to take up a hell of my determination to sit through every lesson moveover, with PP to think of. But in tne same year I walked along with my girlfriend who has been pretty much my motivation together with my mum and dad. I thank the grace that they passed on to me to try and transform anything negatives to otherwise. The 1st semester, I was hit hard by the reality of what I am pursuing, advance math, electronics and programming codes ( I am not going to be some electronics man nor a nerdy computer fella, no offence to those people it these field but heads up to them because it takes so much effort and intelligence to do so. I just want to place my own intelligence into something I find more interesting to me and stirve to be better at it.) My class then was not helping nor were the facilitators. Sem 2 was a little better but I cannot be for sure since I have got another 3 weeks to go with the final UT4 coming up. I am proud that I have completed my module, Professional Profiling which took me a few occasions of late nights to fulfill it. I did it with effort, made appointments for needed interviews be it face to face or online, kept close to the main objectives and set my own, I pass. Not a surpise for many because it seemed like it was difficult to fail, but in my own mind, I did it well with no room for slacking and that's all that matters.

My family bonds are a slight better, way way way better compared to my secondary section of my life. We hang out every Sunday and other days if possible. My mum and dad are the ones I really have to thank to see me through. Times when I am down, sick or stressed up with daily issues. They may not always have the understanding as I want them to have but it worked anyway. The huge amount of gifts, funds/allowance in freedom and money terms are great, though I do have some complains but I see the unconditional love placed it, simple example would be my mum messaging me always keeping an eye out for me knowing me best. Dad, always there to drive me, make appointments for me and so on. My sis, she is caught up with her own route of life but we do share some laughter too. Thanks family, I love you.

My girlfriend, Sinyee. A gift when I entered poly. Now becoming more and more like my pillar, the times we share, the love that grew and still growing/maturing. No matter what she was there for me to talk too, every single night even if we spent the whole day together. I was afraid to loose my friends at first, well friend by themselves do have their own lives and they werent there like she was always. Anyhow, true friends will remain and I will do the same. Baby did not directly taught me to be strong or helped me face to face with my life management but indirectly I was stronger, a better planner in my things I should do, well I am still working on it. But I placed in more effort to take my time of for things to help balance time for her which will eventually effect me in making time for friends and family too. Helped made decisions for me, was there to give support, with others not mentioned here, she just made me a better boyfriend, a man who will share his life with the one he loves. In addition, to always give me my comfort zone, being myself as I need to be and for adding laughter always, like "Smell my armpits move!"(Inside joke and more.) Thanks baby, I love you. Kisses and great tight hugs. Have a great year ahead with you alright. Be it less time or some struggles we must overcome them and also realise anything before to prevent any interference to happen in the first place. Smiles. Oh and for teaching me how to say I Love You and mean it (remember I did not say it on the first day we got together, nor the first or second month even!, Heh!) Winks. I mean it even more now since then as we are moving on together.

The year ended for me with a great Christmas week as well that shall be in another post soon.

Though I did not celebrate the New Year's like how eveybody might think I should have. It was some reflection time for me, I did not go out nor did I spend it with baby or even a full house family but I relaxed and await the new stage/s in my life low key because there's no point being in a crowd with full of friends but yet feel lonely or afraid inside, facing it with slience and reflection may might as well be the first thing to do for then the real party will come later. I do not have much resolutions to make because I will fall so disappointed if I do not fulfill it, so right now the best thing for me is to foresee, take it as it is, respond in the best possible way, leave what others might think about me because it will be a waste of my time thinking about thiers, remain focus, give commiteement to the priorties and to actually think more of myself than I should think for for others. Not in a way whereby, not helping the poor or anything. I am saying not to be over friendly and get backstabbed, for a lack of a better sentence and to enjoy each day, cherish the people I care about and induldge in the simple things I come across and reach for higher heights in all positive terms. To decelerate on negative thinking and wrongdoings. The final year in poly will choose the route I may take in future and I must know it and face it with a bright and happy face for better is what I must become. Happy New Year everyone. Priase God for all His grace and let Him be known to the world which is suffering or in one way or another.

Customized

2009-01-03T17:20:00.004+08:00

My smelly Bloster! Was my funny gift from my mum, I had it ever since preschool or younger, at that time, I couldnt get anywhere without it. I use to kiss it all the time in some funny way, my dad from there thinks I am going to be a naughty boy to the girls in future. Haha. Gross but true, the smell is bad already though, stained and my nose bleed, drools from years ago I guess! Thanks though, the memories without worries.

My Presents from my family.

Soft toy and kiddy stuff to suit the theme of Chirstmas 08, as you can see in the lightings in town, childern kinda stuff, so I recieved.

- Soft toy dog from Harrod's, named it snowflake.

-Remote control helicopter, wanted it for awhile already.

-Some liquid painting set, baby and I could use that with our free time and enjoy.

-Barun Buffel wallet.

- 2 pairs of limited edition shoes, Nike terminator and vandal heavy.

-Cash.

-Prison Break calender 09.

-Tops, pull over, shirt and polo.

-F1 jacket.
-Smelly bloster.

Gift to them from me.

-Sisley Bag and fake eyelashes to my sister.

-Watch and wallet both from Guess to my mum.

-Cufflings and Shirt for my dad.

Baby got a can of Choc chip cookies, Cab chocs and a touch lamp for my family. I know you like the touch lamp a lot but you still gave it to my family, thanks love. All's nice. Smiles.

Midnight mass with family, thereafter the meet ups with church friends and YV. Back home to celebrate with my family then headed on to Freeman's place to catch up and stayed over. It was all good and it was nice to have alittle chat with them besides the fact that the army talk can get a litte inconsiderate.

Days before, worked with baby, chilled around had some good time chatting around her neighbourhood talking about how we met and so on, shy, funny and really nice oh naughty too. Met her cousin and her friend as baby told me they want to check me out, approval I guess huh? Haha. Nice to meet. Eve of Christmas eve was nice working with baby, the laughter and all. Wed, With family, good time driving, checking out the East Coast pit, getting food and preparing, met baby in the evening to get her presents for my family and I, thanks. Played this game baby passed to me, got my family to play it, had a fun time and changed up for mass, went early caught the Chior performing and finally got seats this time.

Gifts from YV. Thanks all really appreciate it esp those good effort cards adressed with well words.

The fifth year this little girl celebrates with us, inpecting our gifts and joining in.

Brandon, well written and pleasant gift from baby who do not regliously celebrate Christmas anyways. Thanks love! When NUM and this bear came about I thought it was quite funny and didnt mind having it since then, baby remembered and listened well, got it. Haha. He sleeps beside me and will be taken care of. Ha.

Was a little disappointed Ididnt have the chance to help out in the decor in church. I was part of it for 2 years but last year I didnt hear of it but anyways it was really well done.

The gifts to unwrapped, really nice.

At uncle Mike's my mum's brother, sure they know each other very well, they got each other the items from the same designer! It was a good laugh and I looked at my sister and told her not to give me the same gift I give you, man imagine I gave my sister a bear collection or something, wouldnt want that. Haha. But it clearly shows the love for my mum and my uncle, nice. That same night is a yearly affair for meeting up and celebrate with my relatives, ate, caught up watched tv so on, it was a good crowd and it was pleasant.

This tree is designed in this way, no tricks with it being up side down. Great stuff and my dad seems to like it much too. At my uncle's place.

Yes yes the yearly affair of my family after Christmas mass. I remember most of my years doing this. Awesome time opening up all the gifts and it was really nice to see all of them including myself smile, having a good time. My savings, effort, thought and time did not go to waste. Thanks to baby for being part of the decision for them, guess they like it.

JTX, sounds firmiliar? Well yes, it's me, Justin Tristan Xavier. The tee says it. Designed by my bud and plain tee credits to Topman. Awesome idea and creative as always.

Got this F1 jacket! I lost my perivous Mclauren one through the flight to Texas few years back, though it is different, I quite like it and it will cost a lot in the near future I am thinking, Thanks mum.

26th! A day I've been planning for for awhile as well. My baby's birthday, I remembered what we did the year before of course and wanted it to be a little more outdoor-ish this time. Not knowing if she will like it but I went on with my feelings on the idea.

A camp out @ East Coast!

Booked a pit settled all I needed for it, including the food and cake.

Bought a tent, brought extra clothes.

Settled the presents, funny ones and the grand one.

Suprised her with planning along with her close friends.

Got my dad to suprise her when she met not only me but my dad to give her a car ride to the location and while on the way there she could only think of where I was bringing her to. Came out of the car at east coast told her I booked a pit and showed her the tent! Haha. Mad idea I guess but as long as she enjoyed it was worth everything.

My mum and dad got involved quite a bit, such as buying the items needed and allowing the stay thinking more on her parents allowance side, big thanks to my mum and dad really for their support, time and effort. Shows quite a lot in my relationship with baby. Open her presents in the tent we had no problems pitching the tent except for those troublesome insects we had to relocate. Got her a few funny gifts like Doramon DIY painting, Donkey cards, bubbles and water bubbles with a toy gun to keep ourselves entertained as well oh and even a set of pink folk, spoon and knife for the bbq and happy birthday plates. Haha I cant believe myself sometimes buying all that. BBQ and thats about the time I got a terrible headache, spoilt my mood for a bit obviously because I wanted baby to have a great time with me, actually didnt eat much, it was a waste since the hotdogs and chicken was really not too bad, the potatoes too went to waste. Got to nap while baby cleared and cooked up the rest of the food in case it rain. Oh and we both worked very well in starting the fire which was the fun part besides cooking. Had snacks along too and baby love the bacon bits keep munching on them once in awhile and of course the 3/4 the 2 cans of chips were finished by her. Oops. Later in the night about 10 plus, I remain in contact with her friends and there playing cards in the dark in the tent, birthday surprise came up behind her. Thanks to Angeline and Jamie for coming by knowing my plan in short notice and knowing how far, they still came and made it and added a better time for my love. Hung around and the grand opening of the present I got for her unwrapped! Hope you love it baby, Sony cyber shot camera. Simple and nice one I thought and it had new features too. Enjoy my love. Stayed till the next afternoon, sort of picnic outside for so called breakfast and waited for my dad to send us back to get some rest before we met up again to head over to my friend's place. Lastly, my mum got baby a Feragamo Body wash and my sis got for baby a L'occitane lip bum.

Need to improve for the whole birthday plan was the location nearer to the toilet and lightsticks for the night and maybe some pillows. Lets camp out soon again.

At big man's in the evening, it was a good time just sitting there chit chatting a bit. Didnt do that real catch up but got to know some new faces from RP itself and having baby made the company better, she's actually not scared of dogs at all, just the very loud and noisy ones I guess. Thanks Daryl, I have been going over for your yearly celebration for about 3 to 4 years now, lets carry on! He did this cheers thing with wine and asked everyone to say something and went round in a circle to say it, I usually get this only in church and it was really nice to do this kinda cheers and sharing with others not just with catholics.

28th. Sunday a day out with my family, morning mass, Holland V for breakfast/lunch, Dempsey Road for some branded sale. Headed on to little India area, The Verge at Tekka Mall for all sorts of old skool stuff and flowers. Old skool stuff like my childhood days playing with all those games, toy magnet cars, kites and so on. Flowers which my mum love and spent bout just less than a thousand for, goodness! The day dosent just end there, we headed down to China Town area. Had dinner, a good hot claypot chicken rice. Walked across the street and found ourselves interested in some auction. We just stood by with the crowd, in Mandarin the lady presenter spoke, trying to bring life to people in order for higher bids. Biddings were for Chinese embroidery in rosewood looking frames and in big frames too. Knowing my mum would love it. I suddenly just told them I have to sit, funny and sounded as if I was aging too quickly it was a joke of the day. Sat there and started to be in limelight of the crowd there, I actually raised my hand to place my bid, got a challenger so I raised my hand again and to my surprise I got it! Mine, the bigger and nice flower kinda embroidery for my mum. Priceless, somehow that feeling of getting invovled with this kinda thing for the first time, with my own cash and had it. The Frame was really big, pretty heavy but manageable cramped up in the car for home and the week ended, well spent! Best week of my 3 week holidays.

YV. Good to seem most of them. Like the sense of belonging here and there while in church knowing I still belong to a youth community.

A full upload of photos on FB.

8's to 9

2008-12-26T00:00:00.002+08:00

HEY Baby, Happy Birthday! Suprise post strike at midnight which marks 26th Dec. The day this special girl is borned!

This day is special to me too, because baby you are mine.

Happy Birthday baby! Do not keep thinking you are young and all aye, slow you. People all turning 20, now just arrive at 19th. Haha. Baby I hope you have had ( well past tense if you read this after the celebration for you) a great and unforgettable time with me throughout the day and night and so on. Hope you will like your gift/s. Small ones, silly fun ones or just the whole idea and effort of it. There might be a chance you will read this before the actual meet up to celebrate, so Surprise then in advance! Lets go celebrate.

Anyways baby, always be proud of yourself, for all the maturity and that Golden heart of yours. Pls keep that going. Proud of my baby for being so strong, stronger than you think, for being who you are, for standing by your convictions and nature. I Love You uncountablely for every inch of you and for every meter of your concern and for your miles of good thinking for others. Do consider placing more care for yourself, the rest leave it up to me. Heh!!!

Happy Birthday, I love you.

For all others knocking it out on the dance floor having so much fun, I had that much fun too just by sitting right next to you.

The echo of that rock concert got the block shaking, that echo of your voice got this heart beating.

While in a huge crowd and in an unfirmiliar maze I was lost, yes. But I know I was getting out with more than love and relief because I was getting out of it with you.

You know I know (haha) I'll do the same for you.

"Tell me tell me, the boy once asked me.

Why was your girlfriend's birthday said to be in your list of most importantly?

Now now boy, she is my baby.

Baby?

Yes yes, I tell you I tell you.

I image she might be one day my lady lady.

Ohh, tell me tell me so I can be ready.

Yeah yeah, I am taking it steady.

But as long as it takes and when your turns up for your kind of lady,

then inform me inform me but not of one who drives you crazy.

Little boy so now you know already already.

I image she might be one day my lady lady.

I image she might be one day my lady lady!

(Little boy: Steady steady!)

Hahaha. ok pls accept my birthday poem. ; )

Click Click

2008-12-23T17:52:00.002+08:00

Last Sat was a meet up with baby to of course spend hell lots of time during holidays. You might be wondering all day with her with both in the same school and both living pretty near, but actually the real qaulity time spent is not that much. In school we are only able to meet for a short while during our break out, traveling to school and heading back, you must know is tiring and can be one hell of a day in school. As for work there is not much of time to chat and keep up with each others day with many other distractions such as heading home in time for the next day leaves us with little time. But I must say the effort and the want to meet and spend more of this qaulity time is amazing and worthwhile.

So last Sat was no exception, Headed around City Hall/Marina area then to the flyers where all this aweseom non-editing-needed photos were taken with our own creations playing around with its functions which produced some scary ones too. Good times, love thanks for everything. Oh and yes I hope you enjoyed all 4 big scoops of Movenpick's Swiss Choc Ice cream, like the ice cream buffet wasnt enough. Haha. Bummed into Gab and Manda, ha always good to bum into bud once in awhile.

Oh and on random other days ever since sem 2 of school it was Prison Break madness! Man all the hrs spend to watch it, talking about it and recently streaming it. Wow, excellent series. Season 4 might drag alittle but dragged into more excitment and brillance of the story. Good stuff. Got my mum and baby darn addicted.

Last Sun, it was a time for a little more sleep, headed online and had a whole day uploading pics. After evening mass with family, it was out to Marina Sq just to walk around again, had dinner together and had dessert as well down at macs, that was just about it.

Last Fri was more of a Suppose to do Friday, I was suppose to meet up with the usual boys but we had some time and cash clash so it was called off, so later in night I felt lazy to meet Sherms too. I had some time home then headed out with my family to walk around the heartlands, had dinner and on to more walking around and that was about it I guess. Lastly and sadly, Mum and I was suppose to head to church for Confessions, but we were late and gave it a miss. Guess that's added in the list of misdeeds or negativity but I'll keep up good faith.

There goes the first week of holidays, I mean with more I did which was in the previous post. Into the 2nd, Christmas is up so quick. I can remember the last pretty clearly and wow, its just too fast for everything to move and sometimes I find myself standing still, I dont want to neither do I want to wait for anything nor see everything pass. I want and need to move on and keep up as well. Oh man, I need to stop thinking too much. Well, midnight mass is coming up the next day, hope it will be a good one with some catch up and warm wishes with family usual annual session of opening gifts, hope they will love it and appreciate the effort. Hope I will like my presents too, ha. New Years up next then. Resolutions? Humm...

Red and Green and now the brown.

2008-12-21T16:26:00.001+08:00

Holidays are here finally, 1 week has passed so quickly it was like hurrying me back to school. Holidays in this season means, Christmas and Baby's brithday to me man. With all that shopping and thinking of gifts all for family and her but it wasnt as easy as just heading down to some location and get it, it was brainstorm. It's all good now, more or less settled everything I guess I need to. Hols also meant more time with family, baby and friends oh and work. Well I did the work, had some time with family and baby yet to have with friends except for Sherman down @ Gardens last Sunday.

Events for the past week -

-Chilled with Sherms, had some business talk going on, getting me all convinced but still considering.

-Ice Cream buffet with Baby, 19 Scoops and 2 plates of baked waffle - whoo hoo... I could have ate a little more though but we were getting all emotionless and sleepy so we had to get up and move around before work.

- Had a good time walking a hell lot with my mum to shop for gifts for my sis and uncle, man it was a test to our legs but I guess we were well trained. Met dad and sis to head back home after a healthy subway dinner.

-Look around and soak in with the Christmas lightings here and there down the whole stretch of town.

-Popeyes @ the Flyer, had some real nice photos.

Most of the photos will be up on FB soon I hope and eh guess. Too many uploading can be real tiring.

-Caught "the Day the Earth stood still", got its meaning about we humans create our own grave sometimes and at the point of danger or negative circumstance then we would only wish to change to do better. Either that the simple bottom line and some effects the show is a 2 an a 1/2 stars for me.

Older Events that I didnt blog up.

13th with baby, photos will be up.
Vivo with baby, photos too.

Headed down to town for alittle shopping for presents with baby. Thanks love for the accompany, thank me too, helped you out in our many shopping trips, what a bf. Heh. Got herself a pair of Nike track shoes and semi black heels and got a good deal for my buy.

Well as Christmas arrives in real soon, I hope it will be a good warm feel with the love ones and friends. More importantly feel the love and soak in the season of giving rather than recieving. Most importantly, never to forget the real meaning of Christmas when Christ Jesus was given to this world by God and without this great gift we wouldnt have all this lights on season feels whatsoever of Christmas and I am proud to say that, that gift is the best to lead us all to enjoy His coming.

The shadow is not just a reflection

2008-12-11T15:27:00.002+08:00

Shall do a random post on other stuff as well as recent happenings to make up for the lack of blog updates.

PP Module: Pass.

CE Module: Pass.

FYP: More or less formed time to hit year three proper, hopefully.

Past Meet ups: Daryl and Keegan down town. Hus and Dal down Gardens and East Coast.

Christmas shopping: A few to go.

Our 13th. Dinner @ Garden's Liquid Kitchen.

Work: Prudential.

School Year 2 Sem 2 : 4 more weeks to go.

Coming Events: Dvd stay home week with baby for 1st week of holidays. Hopefully it will be all nice and comfy for many shows to come. Shopping with my mum, meet up with friends. Midnight Christmas mass, Family Christmas gathering, Baby Birthday!, chalet(tbc), Daryl's Christmas gather and the New Year's.

Hi, my name is Sinyee and for my Poster presentation I will be touching on "A Better health for a better LIFE!" Haha. Say it one more time baby.

Pretty delighted I got it done up, proper, with effort and in time.

Baby did her henna during some chocolate drive down at RP for Jive Charity, she liked it so it matters. Ha.

Down in town after school one night, had a big dinner @ Wisma Food Republic. Whole Spring Chicken again, love? Haha. She was too full for any expression for the rest of the night, funny girl.

No bread for you, I'm on the phone. Shhh... ha.

Smiles.

Baby and I have been really really supportive of our school's event - Reflection 08' and for local talent of course.

We attended: You got Beats ii

Muse

Abracadarbra

Closing Bash.

It was all pretty good and each performance had it's own value.

Freaky Z was my fave for the performance, relating much to me with the likings of Rap music.

Taufik wasnt what I really expected, spoke in Malay most of the time which I could not understand, there were other races too. Sang two songs in malay and his English one wasnt that much of a fuss to jump about. Overall, 3 and a 1/2 stars.

Sunday mornings - Monday's late.

2008-12-11T09:39:00.000+08:00

Sundays are the days for Family. Various places over the past weeks.

Vivo, River valley, Arab Street and many more crazy long day adventure of the Choo's.

Enjoyed much though it can take a lot of energy for a sunday. Great lunch and dinner many times. Also the usual Carrot cake and mad craves for Ice kachang. Walking the dog, Duchess too is one of my commitments, she's family too.

One of the recent Sunday's was out with YV, finally an effort made to meet them bunch. Sarah's back. Had a chicken rice feast with a rather big group with the usual walk down Chartwell Drive, long time since. Moving on for a chill at AMK Nebo. Lionel, freeman, Sarah and Jamie for company, good'o time chatting and sharing especially on Relationships. Such a complicated game for two in love. Hope to catch up soon with them and the rest.

Dip in dunks

2008-12-04T20:42:00.001+08:00

Nike Vandal Heavy.

Nike Terminator Heavy.

Both of the above is what I wanted to get about a month ago. Will get it soon if I do have at least an amount to spend after all that X'mas season of giving.

My Nike Madness hasnt fade, I guess it wont - it's Art.

Mashed up with lots of creativity, brain juice and funk.

Nike Dunk High SB.

Dipped in Gold.

Estimated or said to be about US$1600.

Top of the list dream collection of pair of shoe.

The one that loves you more

2008-11-28T12:27:00.005+08:00

Dont Scared dont scared! Haha.

After realizing it wasn't a "clock!" Saw that emotionless smile to a real one. Look at you! Smiles. Hope you love everything.

Thanks love, vintage gold watch's mine. Winks.

So it's been a year. Goodness how time really files. Well, it has been a marvellous one with my love. The times we share and the troubles we go through. Not all can understand. The special moments, there is really too much to word but just thinking about the times together, non stop and even if we do not meet we are so much in contact. Almost everything reminds me of her.

Thanks love and may we strive to be better as I know there is so much more to think of in our very young but growing relationship!

Couple of dates for this special day and because there is too much to do in just a day we had a couple of days to celebrate it. Since there might be too much to blog, words will express it in this case.

Locations: Novena(lunch), Marina(Flyer), East Coast(cycling), TRCC/school(Refelctions 08' "MUSE" Dance performance.)

All with Extra love, with love. Heh.

How and when did I ge the tickets for the surprise? Heh. Shh...

Not forgetting the hand made tissue pouch, a small and nice gift.

The effort for all mini hearts you made, the wooden pieces and all, appreciated.

When the crowd seem so unfirmiliar, you came and made it our own into this comfort zone. My directions seem to be a blur, you held my hand through and even if we ended up a little lost, we realize we werent because I had you in my arms. At the crossroads, it will not be a decision of one but 2.

It doesnt have to be a ring, a necklace nor a poem - it just does need you and I.

Sun's the constrast

2008-11-20T09:20:00.009+08:00

It's the 1st time cycling with baby on the 5th of Nov part of our one year celebration. Super funny moments and we actually cycled for almost 4hrs str. East Coast to part of Changi and back to the end near Fort Road. Fulfilling day it was. Smiles.

She could cycle pretty well too, bluff me that she is bad at it. Heh. Shall blade the next time so I could hold her throughout and keep her in my arms once in awhile. But when that time comes I guess she will be keeping me from falling as of now I still lack the knowledge on blading, argh. Thanks anyways, love for creating every moment to be a lesson learnt positively and for us to experience different moments together to eventually learn if we can cope with our differences. Tight hugs and you know the kiss will be given even if you do not ask for it.

Love could be the letters of her name.

2008-11-10T15:47:00.002+08:00

Not a surprise, not a long time coming, not stopping.

Finally the month to the word Year.

Happy one, my love.

Every step was cherish, it will be out of line to say I cherish our misunderstandings but it taught me more about myself and you have made me stronger.

In the stages of making myself the best for you and also the better me for everything, you will still be my motivation.

Thank you for being that cheeky girl coming cross my path to stop me and make me think and realize you were right infront of me.

Thank you for all the time, effort and most importantly love.

Thanks for your care and thoughts, your not being selfish to sharing, for me to be part of you.

You know I love you more.

Smiles and tight hugs.

5000kg of

2008-09-30T23:53:00.002+08:00

I have been wanting to blog out so much that I have missed out or forgotten to blog what I have intended to.

Otk Fest - Big thanks to my love who has been the one beside me through it all even if I had friends there, the security is with her and I hope it is the same for her. I had made a stone out reaction at one point of the night. Giving it a miss towards how she would react to a guest having a little too much alcohol running in his blood stream. I just knew she was stronger and to me she is still and will ever be strong. My reactions or my not reacting might not have spoken well of me but I remain the shield for what I can withstand. Not only a big thanks to her for that, it is for her generousity for calling her friends, close ones or not so close or not at all close ones too, including my friends. I expect no appreciation given to her much but baby, you should know you are the best in helping Swiss Club while you are not even paid.

Apart from it, I feel the feelings of hate and glances of unhappy faces. It is expected in the world of earning money and in an event like this, silly politics still managers to arrive. To get it off the still-calm chest, I feel that there is no right for trash talk nor pissed of waiters for not having the opportunity to do bartendering. Even if it is because you did it a year before does not mean you will secure it for the next. No business at all to me if you are that easily taken over. Anyways, blowing up an acute matter is not worth my while. To clear the air, Dalvin and Daryl were chosen as there's no size shirts for them and they pour beer just as good. Keegan was asked by the manager maybe because he was more outstanding than you. For me, I was picked out right from the start at least 2 to 3 weeks prior and I damn right worked for it. Side note to how I feel, no offence taken or given. Any President this year might not be one in the next unless he has the competency to avail.

Money - Sensitive issue. By right it is not everything but in other words it is. Irony you call it but the truth that sustains it this way. I would personally like to indulge in the thought that it is not eveything. Yes it isnt, it can't buy back the past, neither the dead nor the memories and a whole load of priceless sentiment. On the other hand, I believe it can buy happiest maybe not true ones but it still has the ability to. People work, steal, die, rob, dream and whatever more just to have it and return it back to the world when spent. Sadly to me it is what we need, it is everything that seems to make this world a "better" place. Cause if we had it all wouldnt it be luxurious with nothing much at all to worry about? Still I cant or do not want to accept the fact it's everything - it is just not. Have we totally lost our minds maybe even being bought over by it while we are at it working towards it? Where's our dignity and pride when we meet it face to face? Does the actions and feelings of Love cost so little even if it is in terms of billions, we strike the good to become the bad with it. We now buy people's actions and we buy the smiles on your faces, what happened to unconditional love, for it we lose trust and we still have the guts to proclaim "trust no one." Enough said for now. But if I can change a few minds on this I am delighted enough.

I may be of no position or status to prove or exert but, "The only proverty I see in all of us even if you are a multi millionaire is your bad langauage of Money talk."

A late Saint said for my country, Singapore - "The Proverty of Singapore is that there is no Proverty." There is no feelings I can feel to have the same thought of a Saint.

The piano stops playin

2008-09-30T18:11:00.001+08:00

A year has gone by. Life's grew older, shorter and happier?

I reckon it is again my turn to feel and reflect on what I have been up to. Nothing bascially and nothing could be the reason I can feel so useless at times. I can see the good that I have done yet I can see that I have chose to lay back not to do more. It has nothing to do with fate, it has nothing to do with destiny and I think we should all cut that crap. We have got free will and the will is dictated by the limitations we have and dont, that's it. We do so much to feel good, to feel that we are worth it, to feel beautiful and it does not mean a thing if you are doing that in the expense of others. If I said you are stupid just to feel smart, if I was taller and stood to a person shorter just to make him feel shorter or say I should have been up there not him, who's he? He doesnt even look good then my friend, my unfortunate self denying human begin, you are simply all wrong. There's a mirror made to reflect, reflect our true self hidden. There's nothing for you to try and hide. But it comes right back at you and all the time crusing, the time complaining and gossiping has ended.

We are taken by others so easliy that it pains to me to be one of them. Knowing for the fact we need to meet our individual self but we are just scared, afraid of that ugly creature, unpleasant character and stinky smell of envy and hate. Enveloped in fear and drenched in tears, we fear so much. So we need it, need it to get away, further but it traces back. Strong yet too weak, hard but yet so brittle. Healthy but yet an acute infection can kill. - Superman does not have to die, he was never alive.

So many things to live for yet so little time, dont get me wrong I think I am still young but I dont feel like growing up. Mandatory I understand. Nothing gets through to all of us and money is moster that tears and rips yet we are working to get it, waiting to recieve it to an extend to kill and forget for it, my what a friendly monster ever made. Sank into material, forgetful of Love, sweat to beat and bled to die.

Can I be strengthen within myself, for I only know who I am. No man is an island, we made that up.

We seek to be this island but it needs no man. Because if the world has no consquence the world will no longer be that round ball of blue, white and green but RED. Put aside and place no limits to control what you cannot.

One year, one year ago I gave up part of my silly escape. We are the failure of how we failed, begining with empty talk. Pity, just like you but not a pity, not like me.

We dont need wings to fly.

2008-09-30T00:46:00.000+08:00

Let's play a game, look me in the eyes and tell me without spoken words, how much you know about me? Then tell me out loud what you truely know about me? Let me know if you know my heart beat. I didnt want you number just wanted you to com'er. Loser - just dont know you. Winner - leaves me alone and keeps one's judgement.

Price - Better virtues.

My Weds which are School-Free, well spent with love. We chilled, caught a movie and went for more painting. Hope she enjoyed much. Headed down to Novena one of those days, had a walk around and I found that it was a pretty cool place to chill back and feel alittle away from the buzzy crowd just a few stops away, town. Muffins there too are tempting. Had KFC and walked around. Cutton On Craze somehow is on for my love, she got me a cardigan there and she got a couple of buys too. Once, we left our painting there only to realize it back at Amk station, we had to head back as soon as that meant a lot, the time adding colours and sitting there side by side giving time for it to turn out colourful and nice, it has my name on it too. Thus, I went rushing down except in the train which I had no control of but once out, I ran out (been awhile running) and yes I got it back thanks to kind sales fella.

Caught Mamamia last Wed after a morning/afternoon stay over @ baby's. It's a great show, how the muscial best fit the plot, it was good'ol kinda movie with a pretty stroyline attached to it. The soundtracks though old school music, it was addictive. Baby headed over to my place last Sat, we loaded lyrics and youtube and started singing together! It is so diff to get her to sing and she used to be in school chior! It was cosy and it was pleasantly sweet to hear her sing out, now I dig that movie twice as hard. Ha.

Before all of that on Sat, she accompanied me to SSDC, thanks baby for you constant support always waking up early to be there for me. Yes. On for Lunch at City hall's NYNY, her lovely treat. Yum yum. My nose was a little runny but it did not really stop me from hanging out with her. My intention was to bring her to have alittle sight of F1 and to get a little sound check to how loud it can be. Only able to hear the blast of engines from the formula one cars and we headed to Gardens, finally Aston's for her have been telling her about it but most of the time we caught it close, though I feel there's a drop on standards it's good enough for occasional visits. Back to my place for Vantage point, was really sleepy but I caught most of the show, liked how they broke the situation down and brought it back to give a pretty alright ending to it. Finally, before Baby made her way back before it got later, she pat Duchess this two girlfriends of mine made friends. Phew. Haha. Love you baby we are still so so so young in this route of relationship but you are just impossible to .... go figure. Smile.

No frog to a prince but wont you be mine?

My love.

Night or day we'll still wait.

2008-09-30T00:45:00.000+08:00

Singapore, our little young country making it big once again, in the history books of F1 racing, first Night race and the first in Singapore with a route with pretty more bents than the usuals. I got a chance to be part of it on Friday. Oh how it was a awesomely cool experience. Along with my Uncles, aunt and cousin. I had entry to the Grandstand which was a stright course but with one bent in and one tight bend out. There the craze was getting to me, it was packed up with enthu people, families, kids, workers and pure excitement in the air for the trial runs. Before the F1 cars it was some other racing ones racing around the circuit. Had a close view as I headed down neaer to the barriers, it was a sound decision to head down on my own as watching the race from up the 45th row at the 30 plus laps left can be alittle tiring after a whole day of school to add in thus, walking around added a little race rush into me. Ear plus how I under estimated the sound, it was deafening at that range of high decibles, good enough I stuck those in. Nice time and I watched the race on Sunday itself with my family and baby betting with me on Hamilton while me on tragic Massa though I wanted Alonso, I still win. Ha.

It was a race pretty filled up with good drama, Massa had his fuel pump line still injected into his tank which cost him 1st to practically last with a easy chuckle by the rest of his opponents, I am guessing and a few Crashes. I thought the race will be just a simple chase race, but with all the safety car in lap, demerit/penalty points, pit stop seconds and such. Wow it was assuming and exciting. Lastly, to actually know I was sitting so near to that tight turn was great stuff, it always catches the drivers to make a little mistake or over shooting into the land or to make strategic driving of stepping on trottle or brakes to pull through.

Singapore Singapore Singapore, awesome event making this Red Dot shine even more. Imagine Play station and Xbox F1 games having Singapore Circuit to unlock and such. Hey there is Esplande and Marina bay in the game, totally rocks, Proud citizen all of a sudden, dont mind.

Inverting equation.

2008-09-30T00:40:00.000+08:00

It has to take more than words to mean it, because my actions animate me too.

The world will never know the true me, with my crooked way for finding peace, because sometimes to get across to you leaves me contradicting.

Because you mean more than I can express myself to you with limitations I will overcome.

And will you ever know? I guess I will leave myself to allow me to.

A treat to my family after a little sum of cash earned during the tiring yet fun Okt Fest @ Swiss Club which lasted for three nights 18th, 19th and 20th. Sure it was tiring as baby, my friends and I had to school lessons to attend for the weekdays and we started from about 5pm to 1am on average. Dinner after evening mass one Sunday, Prata it was at Casurina Curry House.

I was quite a feast, must be because it is my treat. I would like to thank baby for me having to treat them as well. Without my baby's help in getting contacts for Swiss Club, they would have at least 1/2 the manpower they need.

Baby and I. Coupon girl and the Bartender. More or less right infront of her, caught her looking at guys, wells she caught me too at looking at girls, but I didnt. Oops.

Pippy: Hey baby, I'm here. By the way I caught you looking at so many other girls esp the beer girls and cacausians! Argh, punch you. Anyway I got to look at everyone because I need to collect coupons. Hugs you. Only you in my eyes >_< ( There she comes into my blog and try to defend herself, nonsense she like some guy from SP. Help!) Haha.

Worked together with three other friends, two pretty close friends but I had a history with all and it was great recalling those moments. Times like these gives this only the chance to bond back alittle, after it was all back to our busy little lives. But it was nice dancing and singing around and of course non-stop beer pouring during peak crowd period.

2008-09-29T22:36:00.002+08:00

Moon Cake Fest with Family and Baby.

Family was a little celebration lighting latents at home. My mum and sis checked out what was going on at the Chartwell Park but to their disappointment it was nothing exciting. But we still litted up all the latents we had, which was about four to six of them. Baby came to join after her swim, accompanied her for dinner at Chomps and decided on walking Duchess, goodness baby is really very scared of her. Was a tough time not holding baby for awhile, kinda like so near but yet so far but it was my first walk with both baby and duchess, will be more after she gets use to it, yeah. Macs for ice cream, chat up with my mum and sis who came back after their snacks at the market. Thanks dad for sending baby back thereafter.

With baby, it was on a Sat to Marine Parade first time there walking around with her. Recalled some of my secondary memories to her, crazy times I skipped lessons just to head over there for Burger King's Breakfast and such. To East Coast for some latents and candle play.

Not forgetting a little blowing of bubbles, the bottle which I got for her birthday. It was fun and the wind was strong enough to blow some of us. Created a whole group of bubble floating in the air, pretty amazing with this simple little creation from soap.

Have never done this painting when I was a kid and so it was my first with baby love. It was an kidish experience which was obviously great the feeling of a kid is really just free and easy trust me wanting to grow up to me isnt a thrill already, crap to N16 or M18 or wanting to drive, I would rather have no worries, driven and watching rated G cartoons for years more. For the first time, baby and I did a decent job at it, good stuff. Hope she didnt find the idea of bring her there too mad but I guess we did enjoy and have a good time just doing things which reminds us of childhood.

There's her with all the litted latents which was finally litted despite the strong winds. Despite all worries or temptations, you are lighted up never to be blown off.

Position the stars.

2008-09-29T10:29:00.005+08:00

Big thanks to my love who has been there for me, always wanting that little more time with me even if we had almost the whole day together. Always being better and nice. Heh. Don't stop, I tell you. Kisses.

Yes, our 10th. Dropped by her place the night before for a little love note with movie tickets in them. Went by but didnt plan to say hi in order not to kinda spoil the surprise, I left it at her room's window.

The effort and thought/s are truely apperciated. My feet already loves those meaningful socks.

A few Mondays back, Baby and I celebrated Angeline's bday during our lunch break in school. Baby decided to ask her out for lunch and treated her to Lunch. Surprised her alittle with a small apple crumble slice and a bday song just sang by love and I. Happy birthday A.

Little child.

2008-09-10T19:17:00.001+08:00

Love drew this pretty piece for me with special and nice words on it. Artistic love expressed.

Not forgetting J.Co chills. Smiles.

1st day of school, back to having train rides and all with her, outfit choosing too will be our usual question over the phone.

Paintings that depics some love between a boy and a girl. Simple things are the ones with so much power to give thrills and make happiness which many of us fall to underestimate.

Before this dessert, my love and I had duck noodles which we discovered was good stuff to our tummies. My first time having that witd Jade (green) noodles too. Enjoyed.

Year Two semester Two has offically started. A brand new class with a new bunch of classmates well some I know through the times in school but overall new faces. New set of facilitators, two new modules and two other modules which are follow ups from the previous modules. No elective, which means my Weds are free. My results were released a few days before school reopened, well nothing much to jump up for joy neither nothing to feel sad or depressed about. I felt it was relatively alright, passed all my modules, it was all engineering modules and just one non and I guess I made it through aokay.

Work is still on, minor changes to the work schedule but it may be for the better for both baby and I to deal with school proper and not to tire ourselves out as working daily is one energy draining process. The last few days was chilling out with baby, Arnold's, Town @ Macs and others. We got Ez link card stickers which was some thrill to us, choosing away and such and since my mum and sis saw it a few days ago they do not mind having one too. The Sundays are family days, chilled around. One of the Sundays was to Arnold's again and the other was to AMK and Town.

Moving on with the days, 4th Sept it was the 1st day in class well it was a class come lab for this module which was going to be in the lab for all 16 lessons. First impressions made, Dalvin my secondary and one of the closer friends is in the same class. A few of my last semester classmates too. It was over all alright well still new and I will work on to do better and mix well with the surroundings. Both nights Thurs and Fri was on with my love to work. Fri was different, since the phones lines were dead, we were made to do a little data entry which was pretty simple and we help one another reading and typing the details out. An hour into work, the phone lines didnt come back to life, thus we ended work early and it was some time out with baby, just great. Just a few days and I miss having some closer times with her. We didnt get our pay as our manager was too caught up with having dinner with the boss. So we will have to wait till next week to get it, I assume. Decided for Bugis Junction, did some window shopping yet I got love a nice notebook for her notes and all for the new school term. Dinner was good, food junction there is revamped up.

Sat 7th, came quick and it was work, this time survey which is also part of the deal for a MC's job. SMU was the location. Ended work earlier as the turn out was not totoally good and we wanted time for ourselves too. We decided for a movie, Bangkok Dangerous which was alright it wasnt all that kinda thing, compared to Death Race which baby and I caught before a few days before Death Race wins it with more thrill and action. Sunday, out with family had lunch in Gardens and headed out to the airport only to be shocked at the carpark fee, it was stated as 3.57/min with the cents symbol behind it, to me if they would want to state it in the units of cents it should be 0.36 cents isnt it? But it being stated like that it would be if we had left the car there for just 10 min it will be $36? So we headed for some car ride thereafter, it was memory lane down to St Pats - Marine Parade area. Memories kept appearing, kept playing in my head, reflecting how young the time was back then, had my confirmation camp in the hostile in my school, it too recalled church times as well, wow. Took a deep breath and told myself, we all grow up and it is only the footprints we leave and the memories we all keep close.

Fake noise.

2008-09-10T17:31:00.000+08:00

Cheated in the photo, I tried damn hard to withstand the glare from my camera's flashes but baby just closed her eyes and gave a nice wide smile. Heh. I like, but now I think I'm getting more blind. Haha.

Just one piece you need to know - I am for real.

Sat 30th Aug. Was a date out with baby. It was a pretty long day as we had work earlier in the day. It was a good thing to look forward to. It was Gv's 1st anniversary and it was celebrated with the public for an outdoor screening of 2 new movies not yet released then. Make it happen and My sassy girl the american version. I believe, baby and I prefer the latter it had stronger meaning to it compared to the first movie which was a normal dance movie with a cliche plot, for me I think the lead actress cant really dance. Overall the night was pleasant with baby by my side throughout, just chilling on our mats and popcorns and snacks and a whole lot of people who came along as company. Thanks love it was a surprise to me no worries about that. Smiles at you, you! Heh.

The leg and walking stick.

2008-08-31T19:06:00.037+08:00

Arnold's Arnold's Arnold's. Baby just wants me to get addictied to other things like food besides her. Oops. Ha.

I felt that baby likes this part the most, the talking Parrots and birds. Talking all the way, Huh? Ni Hao ma, Bye bye and hello? Hello... HELLOO.... she tried it all. Funny times. She was so attentive too when it came in the bird show which showcase the singing and talking parrot which could speak in our local Malay and Chinese.

My love with the tallest man-made waterfall in the world. Just in the birdpark alone there are a few world records Singapore made.

National Geograhpic shot isnt it? Haha. Brillant pics these ones.

Up close with the parrots, was pretty amazing. I dont mind getting one too to accompany my parents and duchess at home was well. Ha.

Shoebill which we thought it's a little on a ugly side.

Last Sunday 24th of Aug, Youth Vineyard had our 2nd church canteen duty. Dad prepared mrushroom Spag with white cream. Did more than the previous canteen as I helped out with the moving and growing crowd after mass services, collected a pretty good profit and had a good catch up with some, not to mention Freeman and his army stroies, Tim with his school stuff which I can understand how tough it is and of course Gab with his latest happenings, that fella is up for army soon too. Everyone is in army, all my express secondary school mates and some others who went in to serve the nation first before carrying on with studies, goodness.

Town with my family after the later morning mass and headed home for rest for the coming week which was suppose to be all packed up with work but it was called off, guess in some way it was a good thing.

As for Monday, the 25th. It was some time with baby, she brought me to Arnold's which has one of the best whole spring chicken I have known after a pretty long time. City Plaza it was, out of nowhere but it is a real deal for afforadable, filling and enjoyable feast to have there anytime. Ha. Thanks love, my family tired it and loved it too - should have seen their faces while awaiting for their orders to arrive as for the wait, they watched how others digged into their meals as if they hadnt ate in a few weeks. Ha.

The next day, I decided to spend some time with my parents therefore, I took them out for a movie which they wanted to catch, our local - "12 Lotus" picture. Alike "811" with its costumes, colours and getai stuff. I felt that the ending was for us to predict and give a sound conclusion to, the plot was alright yet a little draggy and complicated, you know how Singapore wants to show its creative side too much at one go kinda thing. Well it was a good time with them followed by lunch. Work was on later in the day.

Wed, was a date out with love to our very own bird park, the last time for me was on my primary school's excursion while for baby, it is her 1st! The pictures above should depict much more than what I can express to you in words. But for some comments, it was a good time though it poured heavily at one moment I guess it was a good thing at the point to come upclose with the little parrots, I took inches away shots of them, it was nice but baby was afraid though. Ha. The rest was all enjoyable too I guess though the bird show didnt change much since I could recall pictures of it back then with my primary school friends all excited. After the birdpark it was time to head for work, it was a long day not too exhausting but rest was needed I guess. Work was done, motivated by Arnold's, we headed for it, rushed up in hopes of it not closing as alternatives like KFC would not bring in the same finger licking good taste, goodness.

Thurs, invited over to baby place where I accompanied her for lunch and she was to do her PP but ended up doing just a little editing. Out we went in the evening to collect the GV tickets for Sat which she is bringing me too and off to work. We had some nights at Bugis for dinner after work too.

Last weekday of the week, we met for work and after we had Arnold's again! It was some carzy addiction I tell you. She took away a whole chicken meal for her family while I had some misundrstanding with mine, but all is fine. Sat was coming, looked foward for the night with the mats, popcorns and moives with my love. In fact in that current week we had much to do, both baby and I was to do surveys at the Comex show in Suntec from Thurs to Sun and Sat was for some health talk at Grand Haytt Hotel. But we ended up doing usual work and proceeded only with Sat's plans but for 2 hours shorter in order to attend our date, all good. Ha.

We can get lost tonight.

2008-08-31T18:54:00.002+08:00

Many times I do wonder what and why am I here in this present world. Have I changed or is it the fact that I am growing? I agree to a certain extend that as time goes people change but I totally cannot accept it to the full extend. I believe one has the ability to remain the same, remain the same throughout afterall one has the same heart, same mind, same damn beat of the heart. Many features of us can change which I guess the art of thinking is important. If I change the way of thinking it may be for the better or for the worse. But wont our past beings haunt us or take effect? If a pet you cared so much passed away, give you the same feeling as now than then when we have changed our thinking to feel? We are simply creating catch lines to fall on to when we got nothing to blame. Friends says we loose friends as time goes, it is ok, people change, I guess most of us fall into just placing eveything into some catch pharse, that's all. If we really wanted to meet up or give a call, it might not be that difficult then you too might think again if one has really changed. If all of us would think the same way as people change then I believe we will go on making new friends and miss the chance of retaining the old and possibly true ones behind.

Am I who I really am? Or am I stuck in the shadow of others, others better, others shining like a brand new star in outerspace that we can see right down on Earth? Am I living a lie, something I create to make myself feel comfort or fear, or am I living someone elses dream? Why do I give in so easily but if no one gives in once in awhile wouldnt it a stand still, if all is good it cant be life isnt it? As I have consequnces for the things I do. Have I become what I cant become, or have I become what I do not want to become? If all of us would give a second thought to the feelings and emotions of others, it will be a better place. If there is a purpose of your life would you want to know it? Would you really truly want to know and fear if you think the purpose is bad and not beneficial for oneself? Dont just create and pretend your reason to live or even not to. But then again is it even possible?

Because if you play superman that damn clark kent you odd not to forget the kryptonite and what its ability can.

One day you will be tired of placing make up, facing the mirror.
Because if you take away that float, you will surely drown.

Hold me down, for real.

2008-08-31T18:30:00.000+08:00

The days have been flying by so quickly, I realize I have yet to update on others days which makes up 2 weeks in total as I the previous post on my JB trip was on the 16th and today is the 31st! Well the rest of the days were simply work and chill out. Had some time at home and as well as daily meet ups with baby for more time before and after work. He headed to BnJs and caught the band performaning which was rather entertaining. Their guitar rocked the beat, funny of me saying that cause I'm more for drums but it rocked anyways. Earlier in that day, I brought her to Holland V, appearently she hasnt be there though she has not been missing much, I just decided to show her the place which I keep feeling that it is some sort of a bigger Seragoon Gardens. It was a rainy day but it didnt stop us from moving on to places, hope you enjoyed my love, it was a nice time at the pastry shop which was relatively nice.

How can I not love her. Winks.

We sort of celebrated the end of the 1st week of work which I guess we did make a good impression with commitment and we were pretty effective with up to 20appointments made in 3hrs. Nice going baby had done it with making appoinments in both English and Chinese, exclaimation mark. Haha.

Me at work, well there are the slack times and of course the low appointment periods with at least 100 residence to phone but none to hear the promotion out and I personally think if people arent so afraid it can really benefit them. It may seem like there is a big catch to a good deal like how we say "too good to be true" but I guess there is no harm hearing this out either. By the way insurance policies have now changed and some has save many lives. Not to worry I am not brainwashed or something but it is the fact and people should look into it and then feedback rather than to "oh Prudential, peep peep" - the line went dead kinda thing.

Workaholic girlfriend, working hard. Just look at the list to call, by now I guess we have memorize what to say and what to reply but we are still in the learning stages which I feel is the best part before it gets a little mundane, anyways it is part time and having that extras is really good.

There was once the manager wasnt in for the whole night, so we decided to take more than a 5-10 min break, went down all the way to Wastons to get some snacks moreover, we snacked up in between and I munch munched while making calls.

Thanks baby, it has been an experience. May there be more. You are my resource too aye. Smiles.

A cloud, the haze or sky.

2008-08-24T23:36:00.001+08:00

It was a small trip do to our neighbouring countrying, Malaysia, JB.

Travel: Train, Bus and Cab.

Time: 1030am to 11pm thereabouts.

Places visited: Holiday Plaza and City Square.
Buys for baby and I: A pair of shoes each, a polo tee for me and a passport cover too.

Ratings: Unforgettable and pretty fun.

Stop over from our walk from Holiday Plaza in search of City Square along a small street. Cosy and nice we snacked and took our rest till it was time to get motivated by more shopping to come. Pleasant time with my mum, sis and baby. Baby missed out the trip with us to KL so it was quite a mini adventure this time for JB, heartwarmth.

This trip was packed up with long waits at customs, loads of walking as we were trying to be adventurous. Nice filling meals, lunch a meal for 4 of us with the craze over tea eggs which was only 70centRM. Dinner location at Serect Recipe which was all worth the cash. The trill of walking along roads not firmiliar to us, along highways which was dangerous. Should have captured a shot of baby's face when a bus came inches away from us, how scary and I had to look out for all three important ladies of my life. City Square wasnt too bad, it had a shop selling apperals and shoes which included my all time, Nike. While Holiday Plaza was fine but alittle old and run down, been there way back where at those times illegal dvd or back then vcd sneaking wasnt too difficult.

Thanks: My mum and sis for accomodating baby, time, dinner and buys.
Baby for actually deciding to follow though I guess she hesitated at first if she was going to be comfortable. In addition, was our little tour guide and good company throughout the trip, smiles love.

In prints against the winds.

2008-08-24T23:05:00.001+08:00

As you turn your back to catch a glimps of a beautiful sight,

I'll be right behind you.

As you turn back in hope of running into my arms,

the one you look for comfort and warmth,

I'll be right infront.

But no matter a beautiful sight,

I'll be right by your side.

For you, I'll ride and fly our love kite so high beyond the clouds,

only visible to us in the night.

The path along can be dark but it will be all so bright,

baby you got to make this right.

You took my breath, you stealer, you theft.

Grab my heart, I might just give you the rest,

by now you know it rhymes,

baby, all I can give is

-- time.

On the 15th of Aug, we went to Vivo City and then made a trip down to Sentosa, it was decided on spot and so she went in a new dress and gladiator shoes. It was a fun day with her re-living some time spent there months back. Enjoyed the tram rides, the sights, pleasant weather, took a hiking trail (which she couldnt wait to exit while I wanted to get lost to spend awhile more in the forested pretty creepy walk there.) With her most loved ice cream to compliment dinner, we spend alittle more time and headed back to our playground spot for alittle time more, cant just get enough.

More plans ahead for that little island Singapore has. It was a day well spent and it was one of the days that we were suppose to work but it was called off. Thankful for that though cause no money can buy the feeling of being or falling in love over again and again, infinity - with one love.

4 rays 1 light.

2008-08-24T22:00:00.001+08:00

Wed the 13th of Aug. 1st day of my holidays where this bunch of short hols will transit me from Sem one to Sem two. With new modules coming and a whole new class. On the 1st day of this hols, it was str to work in the evening. Baby and I are working, Prudential as Marketing Consultants where we call residence in Singapore, promoting a new plan from Prudential and other occasional stuff that we might be experiencing such as surveying and admin. So far it has been a week and we are doing rather fine, we must keep up the good effective work. She is really very good I would say, my baby is a fast learner she picks up points that she can use to make better conversations and prepared a list of things to say in mandarin, amused by her. Ha. It will keep us busy throughout the short hols we have, takes time along with our school project to also deal with, less time to chill but I have to say it is all good, school together, work together in turn it means we meet every single day and we are trying to squeeze time in order to give each other a date out. Thanks, love.

Thurs the 14th of Aug, I went for my doc's appointment concerning my skin. He informed me that the state I am in, is good and considered relatively fine. However, he did introduce and encouraged me to go for Phototherapy. Phototherapy in easy terms; having to go into a machine to shine a certain ray of "sunlight" to reduce inflamed wounds and give a better tan to the skin and certain nurtrients given for the skin's needs, even for good condition skin. It has sight effects of skin aging, dryness and reactions depending on individual. As I was in a alright condition and it was too much to consider about, I did not submit my approval for it. I had to purchase certain items before entering as well. I shall share one of the item that was needed, G-string. Um... and the doctor who is female for this particular therapy said "For the first session which will be a rush for you to get your items, I will lend you mine." My reply with a weird/innocent frown, "Uh, wait let me consider since my doctor said I was Okay, thanks." (Imagine it had like flowery patterns in the front.) Baby will be mad. Ha.

2008-08-17T13:23:00.003+08:00

At the junction to cross, do we look out for the red or green light when we have something or someone so important to us in need? Or so do we place ourselves in danger that the other party across regrets being there in the first place?

Bullied times at the pantry area. Ha.

Since we had classes on Wed while most didnt, occasional chill outs were in the class not used.

Times, during our breakfast and lunch. Hotdog doughnuts, ice cream cup/cone, waffles, wedges, breakfast everyday from her and even sleeping times together near the pantry.

Circuit design that got me unexpectedly enthu about, complication and troubleshooting. Potential headache achievers when it comes to dealing with all these.

It's finally here, the last day of Sem one in year two. The modules were tough, the break time seems shorters, the day seemed longer and the facilitators all seemed stoned. The class was inactive for most of the occasions. Words spoken for presentation could be counted easily. Though some feelings are left for the class and experience as a whole, I guess it wouldnt last. Goes to prove that as time goes we take things more seriously till we forget to cherish the moments we have. Yes, it is a dog eat dog world here but who says we cant play with the bones we have first? Cheers to the good times. Baby made it well with her grades, I feel. We both completed our CE module, both endured the subjects we didnt enjoy. We spent time at all break out times even if we had long lab sessions and we met every morning and walked back every night. My true smiles for that! My grades arent good at all, the Collection of "Cs" made me Crazy with a Capitol for the past C lettered words. Project report has yet to be submitted but I am working on it soon. UT grades were a turn off while some were relatively positive to a small little extend. Knowledge gain was priceless yet building on it will be a definiate challenge.

The tank the class was made to control, using C codes and signals.

It was pretty cool but the codes was like acient chinese characters to me, bet you can imagine that.

It was nice to have a close friend, Dalvin in the same class for my elective, Sport Business. Which was the nicest and the only module for last semester that actually made great meaning and sense to me. Even the students in this class seems more alive with a very knowledgable faci who has practically been anywhere in the world, goodness for that young, she must be really successful and lucky. Dalvin who is in the same course as me was also just next to my core class, nice to know.

To all the memories from Year 2 semester 1, it has been one hurdle for my modules yet the experiences are remembered. For my parent's and baby's support and those who showed a little concern, thanks a bunch.

The shoe sole stopper.

2008-08-11T23:45:00.001+08:00

SGCC Family Walk 08'.

10Aug08'.

My dad is the man and a good sport with all the fun-filled games to redeem cotton candy and popcorn coupons. Toys and other wins too.

Look at him go for the better prize, choosy choosy.

Macs for breakfast, good'o sponsors. What a waste to loose some calories and gain it back with Mac Chicken. Goodness.

Soaking in with the crowd all frantic with magic shows, paintings and lucky draws.

Mum and I with really generous cotton candy.

That tired out kind of face after walking 6.8Km. But my timing was a let down for a 19 year old slim boy like me, except for my bummy tummy, came in at 1hr23min. I recall the old times for 10km in 43min in a marathon, what happened? - Fast food maybe? Ha.

Hit our lane, should have cheated alittle, might have ran home for a ten min nap to catch up with them down my lane to continue with the walk normally. But well well, start and finished the whole walk. It was quite an eventful time, chat up with my mum and sis along the way. Mum and Dad did really great, way in front of my sis and I, probably came in about less than an hour. Awesome, parents.

Great turn out to make it all the more happening I guess.

Onward Singapore! But prices please drop alittle. Alittle? Ha.

Flagged off by the only female senior minister, Mrs Lim Hwee Hwa, 8am.

Time my family and I arrived: 730am.

Location: Seragoon Garden Country Club, 6.8km route.

End time for the whole event: 3pm.

Ratings overall: Good, my 1st Family walk!

Safety Pins left inside.

2008-08-11T23:09:00.000+08:00

Delighted with the gift, all my different expressions yet almost all with a smile. Thank you love.

Her gift with a priceless expression. Even when I looked at the photo of her in my phone it will make me smile or grin at her expression. Got her another gift given to her the day before, well midnight. Enjoy the Tiger tissue too. Ha. Shades looks so much better with you wearing em'

You sparkle dont you? Fireworks at Fullerton with her on National Day, Happy Bday Singapore. Small but great nation, 43years - so far.

The fireworks was close to awesome and it never fails to keep the await and excitement of its people. The display and effects complimented each other, a great way to end each parade I guess, wonder what will be better than fireworks for National day then?

The other performances I guess was improved since the first preview, baby and I went for in July. Dark skies didnt let many down at all instead, withstand the little drizzle to catch and look up to an amazing air force performance.

The crowd was a whole lot more than this. Marina Bay was flooded with people. Human traffic can get nasty I tell you. I must add that some police and wardens seemed to be slacking while others dealt with the impatient crowd rushing back wherever after the parade with little co-operation.

9th baby.

Chilled at Raffle's City for some doughnuts and a walk around to some shops.

Roof terrace @ Esplande. Nice time.

Where we also planned of where to sit the next day for NDP. It was all a nice weekend. Great stuff. Smiles.

08.08.08 chill out with love!

Fri, slacked around at home and met up with baby in the late afternoon to accompany her to get her gladiator footwear. Yes, it was nice awaiting for her to make up her mind and wearing different colours to see which suits best, she looked pretty good in all but black was still classic, so there is was, purchased. Bugis area for dinner, then we headed on for City hall area.

Thursday
Skipped school, went over to baby's place. Surprised her, telling her I was home watching Tv and a home phone message was sent out to alert her I was at her door step. So we stayed in for the afternoon, watched a movie, 'Prom Night' over on my lap top. Great to have you in my arms, love. Funny you trying to dictate and control for the actors who were going to get killed. Haha. Thereafter, it was on for my UT, last one of this sem. She accompanied me to school. Back to have an early dinner at S11 and headed for desserts at Nebo. We went to try our hands at the arcade which was a pretty long time ago since we had our craze for it. We were pretty good. Chilled alittle more and headed back home, Friday, we are skipped lesson again. Heh.

Goodbye Mr.Green umbrella or Ms. Oops. Since my primary school days and for all rainy times. Cheers, hope you will be in good hands or at least be recycled to something useful -misplaced it in S11.

Wed, was for Professional Profiling which I have barely even touch and yet to move on with. But made a visit to SIA Engineering Company to get started. Mr Foo, I spoke too was great, friendly and helpful unlike the others in marjority in this "high class" industry. Thanks much to my Dad to send me all the way to Chai Chee Techno Park. Nice.

Monday, 4th Aug. A boring day in school with a unreasonable relief facilitator. After school was cool with baby, Kfc dinner for her while I snack on some doughnuts.

Tues, was lab session of the whole day, but it was pretty productive, next week will be the last lab session for this semester.

2nd can be to none.

2008-08-11T11:12:00.003+08:00

That ends my 2 times in 2 months KL trip with a cranky-tired photo of mine. (Photos are Ending to begining of the trip - top to bottom respectively.)
Tea leave or herbal eggs got me all busy, ate 2 each day after discovering it at Sungeiwang Plaza.
Lunched at Time Square, Kenny Rogers on the 2nd and last day of this trip. A big meal for three but it all went down to our tummies, nice. With the screams of others coming from the inbuilt themepark right above us.

Night at the Petaling Street, China town where our hotel was right around the corner, Hotel Malaya. Not a very impressive hotel at all but the room was pretty decent despite the never ending flushes of the toliet bowl and dark surroundings out at the corridor, good for horror movies so do not go check in there if ya looking for a stay, a humble suggestion.

Packed as usual. Not in this photo it can tell much but trust me it got worst and my mum spins around whenever she get knocked or bummed into on her left then right then left again. Haha, which cost her to loose her shopping mood, but in the end overall got the most.

Mum and I photo at 1Utama which was my 1st visit there. Noting spectacular either - same old.

A&W. Enough for 3 and enough as a reward for walking all the way to KLCC from China Town and for a wasted wait to enter the Sky Bridge at the Twin Towers.

KLCC with the backdrop of the Twin Towers. Why am I depicting the picture for you? Ha.

The long line for only 1700 tickets to the Sky Bridge. It got crowed way early around 630am to 7am. When it only opens at 830am. It was really packed up and this one guy was so stunned when he lined up for so long and had a sign placed in front of him by one of the officals stating

"Sorry, there are no more tickets to be given out." My mum, sis and I happend to be behind him along the way therefore, we had to give it a miss, we tried though.

Though it can be so difficult, give a true smile wont you?

Early in the moring, shutters still down, birds and the still air greeted. We made rounds and ended up at Time Square, accomplishment of walking kilometers, I tell you.

Guess it says it all. We gotta learn too, just have to. Wake up to it.

5am, quiet and all peaceful China Town without the buzz.

Midnight coach Yellow Express Agency. Pretty credible service and ride.

Trip spent - 2nd and 3rd Aug 08'
Coach - Yellow Express

Hotel - Hotel Malaya.

Ratings overall = Relatively alright.

Thanks - Mum and Sis.

Misses - Dad and Baby.

Buys - A pair of shoes and a Shirt. (That was it, unbelievable I guess.)

ke e sou de mi mi`

2008-08-01T22:06:00.003+08:00

10 reasons for missing you. Your are the one I'll always miss.

1) For your angelic touch.

2) The voice I long to hear whether fierce, sexy, sweet or "man". Heh.

3) Your guidence and care.

4) To make faces with and all other funny things that makes us special and what I call classic.

5) Your beautiful you and all the things you do. (ALL)

6) Irresistible Kisses and hugs.

7) One to share my laughters, the ups and the downs.

8) My observations of my love while sleeping, eating and all others.

9) Self pictures which made complete with you.

10) Sexy you.

++ Your are impossible to find.

3 reasons not to miss too much.

1) The beat of my heart - that you beat.

2) Be back to savour and cherish our moments.

3) We'll have you in my mind always. As when I close my eyes, its you I see.

If I could touch a star, then I will have you over and touch you - all over.

If I wanted to be refresh from the purest water of the nicest river, you will need to fill my glass.

If I am uncertain and confused, I will get straight as soon from the thought of you.

With all of my pillars I love unconditionally, God and my family - you are the pillar that holds me even higher.

P/s, You* is you my pippy little baby. Smile. I said smile now. Love you. You means you baby.

Twice the fest

2008-07-28T16:23:00.001+08:00

Days after the trip in school was pretty much slow and a bore. Lessons were tougher as it built on pervious lessons which was already killing brain cells pretty constantly.

After school would be the walks back with baby and our little chills before we head back for rest and others.

The weekend came and it was more time for each other, really do not know how it will be if we both werent in the same school, wont want to find out anyways. Friday after school and her ut, I got dinner and mudpie for baby, she didnt know how to read my directions, but I guess there is nothing wrong with my directions, ha. I had a good time with her just enjoying each other's company but we read a sad blog. As always mention, we cant take anything or everything for granted.

Over the weekend it was a festival feast, Friday, Ignite - Music fest in RP, had local bands from EIC, Ruth, Electrico and more. It wasnt too bad, it was held outdoors at the reflection pond of RP's and it felt nice to listen out and give our support to local bands and music artist also with baby in my arms through out and yes starry night of our stars outfit. Oh and they had Barnfire to perform some firery tricks.

On to Sat, thanks love for the support, after ssdc, we went to have lunch at NYP for some Macs and ice cream, pleasant to spend that time. Decided to move to Vivo city for some look arounds as we have not been there in awhile. Checked out more shops than we would usually, guess shopping in KL Malaysia made us look around to vary prices and good buys now. Zara didnt have her belt and other shops sold stuff she bought at a higher price making her more proud, but for me, G2000 was on sale, sighs. Had Ben and Jerry's and chill around in there for quite awhile till we decided to head to more shops and even dinner was on at Burger King, your ex crush again! Oops. Ha.

It was getting late, so it was time for the 1st night festival in Singapore at the arts museum held over two Fridays and Sat. We headed for it, checked out nice and some significant displays of photography, old items, wayang items and an amazing electronic canvas display. The electronics was okay for me but it just reminds me how the world is really up to date which such technology and knowledge that what can only bring it down is the evil in us. Not forgetting it reminded me of Engineering, all those freaking C codes, binary and what not.

On the outside which we werent in time for was the open air movie where people sat all over the grass patches. After that it was light installations projected out to the whole of the museum, it didnt stop at one design it had at least ten different coloured ones. Over on the the stalls set up, it has fun and games for all ages, fun fair kind of games and cartoonist artist which baby and I give it a shot and got our faces drawn out funnily. Over on the side of SMU, it was Zouk's showcase of MC-ing, breakdancing(which I missed), graffiti competition and turntablism from DJ Shoutkut which amuse the crowd with his hip hop regime. My mum and dad came down too for the night's fest and decided to fetch us back as there was no last bus or train, thanks to that. Hope baby enjoyed, it was a long day, waking up early, bumming into the crowd and staying through part of the hip hop section which she didnt catch the hype. I still like the drawing of your face, love. Funny and it quite looks like you, mini eyes. Heh.

Sunday.
Church at 9am, finally for me. Lunch and Nike sale at and around Kovan. Home for sleep and others. Early and filling dinner and the rest of the day and night was some time with my lappy again.