Rub the rubber duck

Are we all that colourful, complicated yet simple? Something simple and colourful can be such a wonder and at the same time be so difficult and complex.

Do we need to pretend?

Why do we need to hide, to be trapped and hidden inside with the feelings capable of eating our emotions till we feel no more.

Do I need to love or be loved.

Do we need each other, indirectly depending on others as our guide or our stepping stones so that we can climb over and gain fame, money and position.

Why do we feel what we feel. Lost in the crowd but yet find danger and fear not comfort and courage?

Why do we give in so much with little in return, yet we do the same to the people who give in so much to us.

Love to love but love to hate more.

We want to cherish friends but we are closer to our enemies.

Do we have to have faith and hope, when hope is probably the cruelest emotion.

Should style ever die out but yet make a come back again.

Critics are criticised as well.

Actions always usually speak louder than words, but words can damage and injure so arent words pretty loud, enough?

Do you think we are all created perfectly where everyone has thier own abilities. What if you are who you with the same thoughts and callibre but born somewhere else, way back - less developed will we have the same opportunties? Is showing our concern plainly taking pity?

If advise is free why does the advisor expect something in return, at least? - Respect?

Do you feel alone though you are surrounded with friends and in some circle of fame?

Do you party away trying so hard to enjoy and forget just for awhile yet plunge right back into fear and dismiss at our real situation at times? While the time used for partying can be used to slove the certain problem.

Do we really know what we will wish for when we rub that bottle, with the genie in it with any given situation unknown to us at that point of time?

Cause we never really think enough even though we have given enough thought.

Cause we tend to be more choosy when we have more choices forgetting the real facts of your needs.

He can make you smile yet he can make you cry.

She can make you preserver yet she can make you give up easily.

We were meant to feel. Meant to even hate so that there will be balance. Balance in the world. But what could lie wrong with the concept of balance is that balance can meet danger. We could have half of the world at war and the other embracing peace. Have her rich and the other in proverty. Will that keep the real meaning of balance true?

-Sometimes we feel so pathetic because we already have the pieces of puzzle, just no way to connect it. All we wanna do is to forget it be part of that kid. Be some else you are not so that you could fit. Till we hit danger, who are we to seek, could we just blame him or her, dont be insane live your life, we dont accept quitters. The world is not going to change it will always be mean, I've just got to be meaner. -

Sleep is my escape but it is not my refuge.

Pills for illusions

On to the 2nd week of school, touching into week 10 come Wed which means 6 more weeks for this semester. Considering the best 14 out of those weeks, it will make it 1 more month to go with 2 full sets of ut 3 and 4 to go. Well again, that makes it 1 bcause it is the best 3 out of 4. Gotta make it good and pass through.

As for last week, events that moved along was school. Pretty much the usual, just that it was more of a holiday kind of mood where classmates were all pretty much quiet and for a moment it was to me that I was in this new class where all were forgien to each other as if we did not meet or even team up before. The mouldes were tough as usual. Thurs was bad, the facilitator as himself, he does pretty much nothing at all. The problem statement vague and not informative. That cause more than 3/4 the class leaving, 6 remain - 2 teams but class still ended at 330 which was pretty late than expected for just that few people. I heard today, that grades given still were pretty much Bs even for those who left, it did not only make me feel fustrated and lousy, it was as if I was playing a good boy for nothing.

Back track to Wed, it was pretty fine, interesting enough for the mid week as it was Sports Business. Baby got me out to Cine Orchard for KFC! Haha, thank you love. Headed home and completed RJ and no sooner it was preparation for the school days ahead.

Fast forward to Friday, Dal, Baby and I had Ut. Thereafter, I decided that I would bring her to catch the Singapore Arts Fest spectacular down at Bedok Reservoir. However, she needed to meet a manager at City Hall and the sense of doughnuts made us stay in town for the night, we planned to catch the Arts Fest the next day, 2nd last day of the Fest. We walked around pretty much, bummed into an old friend also Gab and Amanda on the way out of Suntec. We couldnt find dinner there. Doughnuts were pretty filling, tried the new flavours doughnut factory had, pretty nice. Messy time it was eating those at the creative sort of water fountain at Raffle's Place. Had dinner at Long Johns, walked around Marina and headed home where the weekend made its way quickly again.

Sat, I met baby, slightly later my bad. Lunch at home and off we went to check out what E Hub was like. Fun filled for the kids, there's a level mainly for kids, slides they had with a pool of plastic balls young kids sink into and stuff. Nebo was our choice to chill at, we waited awhile for Nebo at E hub to check out. It did not really hit our expectation being a cafe come club kinda thing, it was more of some open concept design right next to Cathy cinema. On to look at some NUM slippers for baby, black pair will look on her, she's getting it soon with my accompany, ha. Bedok it was with ice cream waffle from Nebo in our tummies. We were on time after taking the bus and we waited and waited, sadly to have found out the performance was at the other end of the Reservoir, yes following the crowd is not always the safe way. We caught the last probably ten to fifteen min of the play where they had huge flames of fire, sprays of water and yes fireworks. Bedok Market was somewhere new for us to have dinner, thereafter, we made our way back to the playground and headed home for a foreseen lazy Sunday.

Sunday, Church in the morning. Lunch at Holland V with family. Home with laptop practically the whole day, The Lost World for some home tv entertainment and lazing around till I fell asleep for one week of school which is this week, ahead. In addition, it is pretty sad that I cant catch the Euro Cup which I have yet to catch any this season.

We vision so many things, foresee so many chapters both good and the bad. We all want to make it work out all so much. But the world seems to be evil, seems to be demanding and seems to pick on certain people. We take leap in hope that it will be alright, that tomorrow and the days or years ahead will be all good, yes if we choose to yet no if we also choose ironicly also. Illusions are made, illusions fustrates though illusion too delights. We all need love but yet we love to hate. - Take a pill.

Hate to a new level

When illusions fail, we meet reality. Real is real, we are not made up, we are not having false feelings. We just tend to visualized, think and imgaine what we only want to but when we hit back only then reality checks back and only then we wish our steady feet won't fail us now. Do we become what we want to become, become what we cannot be, become what only others wants us to be. Impressions are made from analyzed judgements. But unfortunately, judgemental judgements comes 1st before impressions so then we - become.

It is offically back to school. Class with low attendance as usual, I must say. Mircocontroller Systems. See, the module speaks of its own "Chimology" stuff. It was something new today about some "interrupt" thing in the mircochip, it is alike us, doing our work, focused but when someone claps for example, we get interrupted thus, stop but unaffected we head back to what we were doing earlier. At least analogies can be applied to Engineering.



In the midst of the day, after lunch with baby. I surprised her with gifts. Hope you love it baby, I like the colour, texture and how the pages are tied up all well with a bookmark, use it only for your personal yeah, do not be afraid to write anything down because I just want you to note down your feelings, reflections, thoughts and so on. The next gift, Ben and Jerry's ice cream sometime soon, but I do not want you to wait for some time to go with me or anything just use it when you want and can.



Before, she left school for work and I left for home, I decided ok it was time for her to have my kind of 1st love letter to her though I wrote to her here and there many times before. I even got a draft done so that I could count how many heart shaped stickers I could use and so on to aid me with writing a proper one. Hope it wasn't a real rush for her but hey it is for you, my love. What is the occasion some may ponder, well nothing just a suprise gift randomly!



Heading back to the Train station was a pouring wet exprience. It rain for at least an hour, but it was heavy enough to keep the drain filled with strong gushing water, cars that splashed water when they drove wildly through countless pool of puddles and for half of RP's student having their legs totoally wet and with shoes getting heavier. Wonder why would they build a sheltered walkway all the way from school to the interchange leaving just a short distance not sheltered which got many drenched in the end. The walkway sheltered, but the drainage system awully bad, so it keeps our upper body dry but the lower darn wet till the uncovered way mentioned earlier. Wells just a thought while reflecting back on that.



Church it was, a sudden feeling to go, some will call it a calling in some way. Not knowing it was the last day of confirmation camp 08' confirmants attended evening mass as well. Did a little prayer and back home it was.



Exit to enter a new day. Falling into interest with my title for the last post, its meaning simple but varies through different thoughts of different minds.

Exit to the Enter.

Hoildays oh holidays, it has come to end. 8 and 1/2 weeks to go, 3 more sets of UTs to go, a couple more lab sessions and a couple more quiet days I reckon is coming. However, it does not mean it has to be bad, I will try my best to not only hang in there, but to enjoy a little and do fine.

Events noted down from my 2week long hols.

The 1st weekend to me was a little vague, my bad if I missed out anything that I should remember only just that I have entered mid year, June. So come Monday, I went out with baby we were each other's accompany, I went to get my sister's belated birthday present in town. Headed back to the Hub to get my baby's friend's birthday present, thought it was a short meet up with her, but it was sure quite nice. It was pretty much slack at home and in no time we landed ourselves in town and all. So what can make a present look better for a birthday? I guess it will be the old time tranditional cake, met my parents at amk hub after sending her off to the bus stop. So midnight, 2nd June we suprised my sister, she did not even sense anything since her birthday was celebrated overseas kind of way back to the 25th of May, so who would have thought, guess none other than the ideas of mine and the effort of my parents.

On other days up, it was chilling and hanging around with baby, Gardens where we had different meals and hang out all over the regions of Gardens, two parks, RK, Chomps and Haato.

Singapore flyer area with her on Wed, Popeyes for dinner, pretty good and more juicy compared to the airport's. Collected a bag for baby's mum at Millena Walk, got each other some King sized kit kat and some sour sweet from Candy Empire. Walked around and viewed the majestic flyer from below and visited the Yakults forrest.

Others days must have been just chilling back home, heading over to her place as well. Which left the rest of the 1st weekend to work, Fri to Sun at Swiss Club. They had functions which were pretty interesting, Sweden's independence day so I got to work most of the time with baby, but I did bar which she got "jealous" of, showing me that argh-face as she wanted to do bar too. Pretty long hours all the way for the next two days, Sat was the longest, all in all 13 hours of work! It was some dinner and dance event which lasted the whole night long, leaving the rest and I working, pretty much drained out. Sunday, it seemed a little more relaxed, it was the Euro Cup match Austria vs Croatia where Swiss Club once again held an function for it, did bar again for that night. Since it was the last night out of the 3 working days and nights, I guess we slacked and took our time, she and I made coffee, ate biscuits, had a long walk out and decided for Gardens RK for supper, finally she sending me back by cab thereafter she went home at about 3 to 4am, thank you. Ha.

2nd Monday, Celebrated at Paragon's Canale's Chocolate place had a funny tasting ice cream crepes and headed on for dinner at lido where we decided for a movie, Sex and the city. It was a pretty good show, thought that there would be more sexual scenes but nah, a humble amount but a man's privates was a little shown, pretty liberal and open these days aye. Movie's all about Love, love all around, what love can do (hurt, cure or simply love) and of course friendship that last. Movie ended later than expected, luckily for good'o late night timings of buses.

Alright, my post are always long but you got to say it is way detailed that's only how much it can be word. The rest are captured in mind and heart. The rest where, days outs chilling and just hanging around, not forgetting at least we got started to do alittle PP, PDL with my parents. Dinner at Miss Clarity Cafe, before that was chilling at her place where she made a much better crepes for me, nice. Hugs you for it. Nebo for dinner and childhood games thereafter, headed to Cityhall for doughnuts, awesome photos taken for her then to the club with friends and baby at MOS, supper and good talk times till the sun rises and home to sleep only at 9am. Dinner at NYP after SSDC for baby, found it quite a decent nice time sitting cosy by the concer of Macs in the Poly and a walk all the way back to her place. Caught up with Gab our usual catch up, good stuff as always, but I hope we wont drift further as I feel we need more of our cranky self. Watched movies over lappy, her place and my home, Hitman, Kufu Panda and Eastern Pormises all were pretty good, nice. Chilled with big man come Sat had a relatively good catch up, walked from Lido to Cathay, we are gonna hang in there man, peace out big guy Daryl, remember our cheers at Starbucks. Thanks to all who made effort to catch up. I guess the Holidays werent too bad, good chills and catch ups and time for almost everyone. Thanks, my love for being there, times and also much of your effort and late night chats, the rest is for us to recall and talk about in our hearts. Smiles.

Finally, Sunday, the draggy feeling school can really bring, sighs but also trying to look at it on a brighter side. Happy Father's Day, went to Family international buffet for High tea, after church in the morning and a short bite at Mac Cafe, Shaw House.

Hello the rest of Semester One, Year 2.

Angel's halo - Devil's wings.

When all that's beautiful surrounds, a great picture magnified and a half glass of liquid - still it does not fill the glass up to its brim.

ifear

There, the last week of school came and gone. It was rather a draggy week, where most are anixously awaiting for the 2 weeks break. I am half way through the 1st semester. Those mind taxing circuits, equations and what not linked to higher or A math and physics, phew pats on the back for trying, maybe not my best but still the effort which has to count.

School was fine, looking forward for breakout, breakfast and lunch - meeting my love. 3ut test which was pretty tricky and difficult, nothing new I would say. To my class's and my suprise there was 2 lab lessons instead of one, therefore it meant half of the class were not prepare and thus, their partial attendance. Worked pretty hard for both lab sessions and Sports business and the other two modules, I just did what I could which for in the case, pretty little - sadly.

So school aside, as least of the studies, it was surprise time for baby, boy it was a close call for me, getting all bashed up by her for trying to prevent her from knowing how I got the tickets and who called me in the midst of trying to get the hot selling fast tickets the day before, phew but bullets of sweat came about after a long chase and catch around the classroom till she gave up wanting to know. The tickets I am talking about is the 1st Dance Fest held in RP TRCC. It was the hottest and the most happening event for this year, the event comprised of dances groups all over the country, to name some that wowed me, Hwa Chong, NUS, a few secondary schools really did well and of course some polys' NP and RP rocked the theatre. Mixed genres of dance, best none other was Hip hop which baby and I enjoyed the most I guess, with all the stage and light effect, somewhat like step up 2 for real with awesome break dance and the longest head spin I have seen real life yet. Some showcased, salsa and even drama into the mix so all in all, jaw dropping and heart pumping just apart for one or two sleepy sessions of the more than 2 hour long performance. - Glad you enjoyed baby, you better. Got me going mad with arrangements for the tickets just on the day itself, proud of myself (thick skin) and also thanks to two friends who made it happen. Winks. Oops.

Not to forget, it was RJ in class either hers or mine daily, for Wed before the dance fest, dinner at Kaffe esplande, TRCC pleasant time. On to Thursday, headed back, baby got me some chesse beef prata thing at the GO Go shop or something, seems like a hit at taka and AMK Hub so I finally got to try it, it was pretty good. Then quickly came Friday, draggy day but somehow it was fine knowing that the holidays seems worthwhile to wait for. Over the phone with baby was another suprise from me the night before, "Baby you are invited to my place tomorrow evening!" There was it finally I guess she must be saying. So Friday night was spent a my place, a humble dinner was set up by my cooperative parents who perpared dinner and set it so home-romantically kind of ambience. Thanks mum and dad it was sure you would want to see the special girl that I am taking out and keeping in my heart. Appreciated. In addition, a pleasant drive back for her. Nice.

Sat - Sister's back from Aus, picked her up at the Airport with my parents and headed for East Coast for supper.

Sunday, Church in the morning. Lunch at Sushi Tei, Paragon for a belated birthday celebration for my sis. Got a shirt from topmen.

Monday, woked up pretty late. Headed out to meet baby after two long days it seemed, we did not meet. That 2 plus hours was at least enough for a meet up all the way to town and back to Hub all in the name of presents for her friend's and my sister's birthday, great company, naughty you baby.

Today, it was a pretty long day, as I woke up early as in early for me during holidays - 815am plus or so. Headed out in the afternoon with Parents. Banks, PDL, Photos and back home for dinner. Hoping that the rest of the holidays will be fulfilling, some time for everyone including myself and even my dog.

The tears form in the eyes, let it wash my vision so that I could see the importance of life and the surroundings.

This Train has to halt.

Time has been really the biggest factor. Time is really never enough I guess. From the last time I blogged about my happenings in my daily life, it has been really awhile. Guess time management isnt that good. So very quickly, my Year One to Year Two long holiday break was pretty pleasant.

Holy week, Thursday to Sunday.

Chalet with baby.(Parsir Ris beach. Many photos. Kfc Dinner with candles, balloon blowing, Roses for my love, great time. (Ikea/Gaint roaming. Our spot.) - Two day's one night.

Chalet for Gabriel's Birthday. Two day's one night. Lunch at AMK Market with Gab and Manda.

Had a short cycle.
Many outings with baby which were all great.

Movies.

Year One, Semester Two BBQ.

Chills with a couple of friends.

No work.

Baby's House.

Gardens.

Chill back home.

Collection of O's cert for and with Baby.

Loads of Pool and Arcades games.

Baking cookies.

Chill with Bud.

Long phone chats.

Picnic date.

Posh Brownies/Fortcanning chill.

Many more here and there.

So when Year Two begin - April 08'

New modules, tough ones! Elective - Sports Business (same class with Dalvin, one of my boys from seconday school.) Two classes, five days a week. Completed CE module, in progress but slowly with PP module.

Uts all coming up, lab session getting on. (Hanging on, keeping faith and pulling through.)

Laptop at the begining giving problems. - Settled.

Cafe Cartel at Gardens with baby.

One Year of knowing my love. Nebo.

Weekends with Baby, Taka Dinner, Vivo, Lido and more.
Airport with baby. Popeyes, terminal three and skytrains.

Travelled to town for dinner twice on Monday's, for Kfc and foodcourt food.

SLA Week in school checked out the stuff RP had for Interest Groups. (Modern Dance Baby and Ange checked out. Wanted to join DJ stuff and Daryl wanted me for Percussions.)

Town to Everlast at Heeren - to get a pair of shoes with baby.

Bugis to get socks to compliment the shoes which gave her blisters.

Travelling, breakfast, lunch and after school time with baby. Thank you for breakfast all the time, love it. Pantry moments with her.

Rj and playing games together, libraby times too.

Chill with the boys, pretty good time, finally with about 7 of us coming down, Gardens, East Coast for supper.

Eventful Weekends here and there. With family and baby.

Moives - Run Papa Run, Step up 2, Dance of the Dargon and Iron man.

Escape theme park.

Hair cut.

Town alone.

Swensons dessert. Great Aldo Shades.

Dinner at Cathay, checked out most of their design shops.

Pasar malam and our spot with her.

Magic Show - with baby. TRCC, RP. Dinner at Kaffe esplande.

ADHOC perfomance, Daryl on Bass and Drums. At TRCC, RP.

Raffle's City, donut madness.

Out with Dad and Mum to Bishan for dinner, part of my Dad's Bday.

Dad's birthday at Orienatal Hotel - nice and midnight supirse.

Mother's Day with Uncle Mike, Meridian Hotel.

Mother's Day - Singapore Flyer, top of the world view.

Present hunting wth baby for my parents. Accompany appreciated.

Work occasionally - Swiss Club.

Mum's birthday, midnight suprsie. Uncle's place for tea ceremony, Cousin Jess's wedding dinner on the same day, Marina Mandraine Hotel.

Public hol, Vesak - Cathday, chilled at Hotdog Factory.

Lau Par Sat, Raffle place to Tanjong Pargar with Baby. We'll check that TCC out sometime.

Sister flew over to Aus for two weeks.

Dinner with baby at Marina, Secret Recipe and dessert at Starbucks.

Driving Centre and home relaxing while baby was in Malaysia.

Church Canteen duty. 500 bucks plus worth of profit. Nice time with YV, finally. Thanks for the warm catch up, Lionel, Tim, Gab and Freeman and yes money counting never fails with Sarah.

There goes - 1 more week of school which brings on 3 more uts, one more lab session till my two week's holidays for half of Year 2 Sem 1.

Prayers out for all love ones well being, friends and the world. Especially, hit regions from the killer Cyclone and Earthqakes. What more must happen before we see the hurt and danger that surrounds.

"Being invisible can be such a torture. But when you can be seen, you are afraid. Why must my skies have the ability to turn gray? My scars remain, myself is what I want to retain, the lost are meant to be found. Sing me a goodnight song telling me that when I wake up, it will all be alright."

Desolate

Do you recall the time where there isnt much to worry about. Even the things that we worry for were not really things to worry about. The life we lead is pretty simple, a stage by stage based concept. When was the last time we stopped and thought about how life was getting complicated because of the things we choose to get into. Living the life, bumming around, making a huge number of friends, never really alone as most of the time you had many to call you, walk you, hang out with. But deep down, somewhere this heart feels lost, empty - desolate. Why do we still move on and seek the company cause all we needed wasnt the fact I got a thousand friends over freindster or the lastest-hip online network friends connection but the fact I had to get the feeling of loniless away just by knowing who I really am and all I should do is keep me company and that will make it all go away, not so easy by the way. It could be the loniliness that peaks and we fear being left alone in this world at present or in the future. We all are, that slient scream in our minds and hearts.

"Because we like the taste of freedom; because we like the smell of danger."

Not like the colours of the rainbow.

Sometimes we are too contented with looking at the colours that surrounds. We only kept looking but we did not use those colours to paint ourselves with it, so that we could enjoy it fully rather than just viewing. He stepped on many colours but he got lost within them. Why has it got to be in this way the way of loosing yourself in order to find yourself?

If you knew my history -

Not for a few more weeks till school reopens to a brand new year of studies. Well guess I'd not know what the whole year will unfold which I guess it makes me either excited as well as it leaves me with a litte fear and worry. Guess it is more of the choice I make of what I want it to be. As for the holidays, I have been a bum at pursuing to get a part time job, hunt for a little while and just went on with the days. While a part of me feels that I should work and get some knowlegde, earn some cash and spend the days wisely. However, the other feels that I should not want to plunge into growing up too fast and when will an adult in future get that much of holiday time?

As the time was used well too I guess with chilling with baby, church on Fridays, and a litte time at home with all the eating and catching of Dvds. Here and there,

catching movies, a new found crazy game for me at the arcade which I must win, haha. Walking around and enjoying the time together. From Kallang, Gardens, Amk, Bugis, Bishan and City Hall. Caught the Leap years and 10000bc. Leap year's was a rather good production, good plot with some good tearing moments and emotions being played which also meant how much the wait for love can cause. The other movie, was good too, effects and the deeper part into the story was commendable, must try out his sexy run, ha. Chilled around City Hall one Sat, had doughnuts which was quite a messy moment with laughter. Checked out the IT show 08' which was not surpirsingly packed up with hungry for phones, Tv, camera and laptop people. Dinner at Suntec and an early night backto Amk to chill around and have some alone time here and there with great pictures taken with her. The days before, was hanging around with her, her place, the usual spot, basic, happy duck rice and chicken rice at Bishan which we talked bout old memories of that place before we knew each other.

Sunday the 9th - was some good time. We never really stop talking since we met each other on the train where we waited as the rain had her taking the bus then the train. Chilled around, booked tickets at the Cathay, went to PS, checked out shops for my polo tees and others. Looked around for planned places to eat and ended up with a funny facial expression for S11 time at Cup Page centre. On to Billy Bombers for dessert cause the American Brownie is the bomb there. Good stuff though the first time we tried it tasted a little nicer. Maybe we had too much of Buffalo Wings before, this time. After the show, chilled and took photos and went on back to our usual spot, chat, had a call from Sherms hope he is doing fine. Hanged around, back home, chats over the phone, the whole day wasnt enough, ha ended my day or in other words my week. Great time baby - 182 photos and a whole lot of memories. Monday and Tues was homly times where the Dvds came into play. Wed, I had to meet up with baby. Went around, the rain made it a little more diff to get around such like Bugis street, had our noodles we planned to eat and had my love's fave Waffle Ice Cream at Nebo. Thereafter, we had to get another Zone X card, good thinker this girl of mine, but had the card under her name and that whatever cute picture at the back of the card, I had no choice but to keep it for my use then. Manage to hit stage four in the game and finally beat her at one game. Poolwas decided but the fully used tables chased us away. Spend more time, which is never ever enough. Got our PAssion revantage card and planned ahead for stuff coming in our calendar.

A little complication with Church, home and heading out with the weather not helping today, decided to stay home and catch some time with my lappy and tv shows on this day which I dont usually catch. The rest of the week ahead, I guess I will want to meet with baby, so few times this week. Stations at church, a might meet up with Selina and Sunday probably some lazy day or something.

Didnt I tell you to realize how much this cost. - Priceless.