ifear

There, the last week of school came and gone. It was rather a draggy week, where most are anixously awaiting for the 2 weeks break. I am half way through the 1st semester. Those mind taxing circuits, equations and what not linked to higher or A math and physics, phew pats on the back for trying, maybe not my best but still the effort which has to count.

School was fine, looking forward for breakout, breakfast and lunch - meeting my love. 3ut test which was pretty tricky and difficult, nothing new I would say. To my class's and my suprise there was 2 lab lessons instead of one, therefore it meant half of the class were not prepare and thus, their partial attendance. Worked pretty hard for both lab sessions and Sports business and the other two modules, I just did what I could which for in the case, pretty little - sadly.

So school aside, as least of the studies, it was surprise time for baby, boy it was a close call for me, getting all bashed up by her for trying to prevent her from knowing how I got the tickets and who called me in the midst of trying to get the hot selling fast tickets the day before, phew but bullets of sweat came about after a long chase and catch around the classroom till she gave up wanting to know. The tickets I am talking about is the 1st Dance Fest held in RP TRCC. It was the hottest and the most happening event for this year, the event comprised of dances groups all over the country, to name some that wowed me, Hwa Chong, NUS, a few secondary schools really did well and of course some polys' NP and RP rocked the theatre. Mixed genres of dance, best none other was Hip hop which baby and I enjoyed the most I guess, with all the stage and light effect, somewhat like step up 2 for real with awesome break dance and the longest head spin I have seen real life yet. Some showcased, salsa and even drama into the mix so all in all, jaw dropping and heart pumping just apart for one or two sleepy sessions of the more than 2 hour long performance. - Glad you enjoyed baby, you better. Got me going mad with arrangements for the tickets just on the day itself, proud of myself (thick skin) and also thanks to two friends who made it happen. Winks. Oops.

Not to forget, it was RJ in class either hers or mine daily, for Wed before the dance fest, dinner at Kaffe esplande, TRCC pleasant time. On to Thursday, headed back, baby got me some chesse beef prata thing at the GO Go shop or something, seems like a hit at taka and AMK Hub so I finally got to try it, it was pretty good. Then quickly came Friday, draggy day but somehow it was fine knowing that the holidays seems worthwhile to wait for. Over the phone with baby was another suprise from me the night before, "Baby you are invited to my place tomorrow evening!" There was it finally I guess she must be saying. So Friday night was spent a my place, a humble dinner was set up by my cooperative parents who perpared dinner and set it so home-romantically kind of ambience. Thanks mum and dad it was sure you would want to see the special girl that I am taking out and keeping in my heart. Appreciated. In addition, a pleasant drive back for her. Nice.

Sat - Sister's back from Aus, picked her up at the Airport with my parents and headed for East Coast for supper.

Sunday, Church in the morning. Lunch at Sushi Tei, Paragon for a belated birthday celebration for my sis. Got a shirt from topmen.

Monday, woked up pretty late. Headed out to meet baby after two long days it seemed, we did not meet. That 2 plus hours was at least enough for a meet up all the way to town and back to Hub all in the name of presents for her friend's and my sister's birthday, great company, naughty you baby.

Today, it was a pretty long day, as I woke up early as in early for me during holidays - 815am plus or so. Headed out in the afternoon with Parents. Banks, PDL, Photos and back home for dinner. Hoping that the rest of the holidays will be fulfilling, some time for everyone including myself and even my dog.

The tears form in the eyes, let it wash my vision so that I could see the importance of life and the surroundings.

This Train has to halt.

Time has been really the biggest factor. Time is really never enough I guess. From the last time I blogged about my happenings in my daily life, it has been really awhile. Guess time management isnt that good. So very quickly, my Year One to Year Two long holiday break was pretty pleasant.

Holy week, Thursday to Sunday.

Chalet with baby.(Parsir Ris beach. Many photos. Kfc Dinner with candles, balloon blowing, Roses for my love, great time. (Ikea/Gaint roaming. Our spot.) - Two day's one night.

Chalet for Gabriel's Birthday. Two day's one night. Lunch at AMK Market with Gab and Manda.

Had a short cycle.
Many outings with baby which were all great.

Movies.

Year One, Semester Two BBQ.

Chills with a couple of friends.

No work.

Baby's House.

Gardens.

Chill back home.

Collection of O's cert for and with Baby.

Loads of Pool and Arcades games.

Baking cookies.

Chill with Bud.

Long phone chats.

Picnic date.

Posh Brownies/Fortcanning chill.

Many more here and there.

So when Year Two begin - April 08'

New modules, tough ones! Elective - Sports Business (same class with Dalvin, one of my boys from seconday school.) Two classes, five days a week. Completed CE module, in progress but slowly with PP module.

Uts all coming up, lab session getting on. (Hanging on, keeping faith and pulling through.)

Laptop at the begining giving problems. - Settled.

Cafe Cartel at Gardens with baby.

One Year of knowing my love. Nebo.

Weekends with Baby, Taka Dinner, Vivo, Lido and more.
Airport with baby. Popeyes, terminal three and skytrains.

Travelled to town for dinner twice on Monday's, for Kfc and foodcourt food.

SLA Week in school checked out the stuff RP had for Interest Groups. (Modern Dance Baby and Ange checked out. Wanted to join DJ stuff and Daryl wanted me for Percussions.)

Town to Everlast at Heeren - to get a pair of shoes with baby.

Bugis to get socks to compliment the shoes which gave her blisters.

Travelling, breakfast, lunch and after school time with baby. Thank you for breakfast all the time, love it. Pantry moments with her.

Rj and playing games together, libraby times too.

Chill with the boys, pretty good time, finally with about 7 of us coming down, Gardens, East Coast for supper.

Eventful Weekends here and there. With family and baby.

Moives - Run Papa Run, Step up 2, Dance of the Dargon and Iron man.

Escape theme park.

Hair cut.

Town alone.

Swensons dessert. Great Aldo Shades.

Dinner at Cathay, checked out most of their design shops.

Pasar malam and our spot with her.

Magic Show - with baby. TRCC, RP. Dinner at Kaffe esplande.

ADHOC perfomance, Daryl on Bass and Drums. At TRCC, RP.

Raffle's City, donut madness.

Out with Dad and Mum to Bishan for dinner, part of my Dad's Bday.

Dad's birthday at Orienatal Hotel - nice and midnight supirse.

Mother's Day with Uncle Mike, Meridian Hotel.

Mother's Day - Singapore Flyer, top of the world view.

Present hunting wth baby for my parents. Accompany appreciated.

Work occasionally - Swiss Club.

Mum's birthday, midnight suprsie. Uncle's place for tea ceremony, Cousin Jess's wedding dinner on the same day, Marina Mandraine Hotel.

Public hol, Vesak - Cathday, chilled at Hotdog Factory.

Lau Par Sat, Raffle place to Tanjong Pargar with Baby. We'll check that TCC out sometime.

Sister flew over to Aus for two weeks.

Dinner with baby at Marina, Secret Recipe and dessert at Starbucks.

Driving Centre and home relaxing while baby was in Malaysia.

Church Canteen duty. 500 bucks plus worth of profit. Nice time with YV, finally. Thanks for the warm catch up, Lionel, Tim, Gab and Freeman and yes money counting never fails with Sarah.

There goes - 1 more week of school which brings on 3 more uts, one more lab session till my two week's holidays for half of Year 2 Sem 1.

Prayers out for all love ones well being, friends and the world. Especially, hit regions from the killer Cyclone and Earthqakes. What more must happen before we see the hurt and danger that surrounds.

"Being invisible can be such a torture. But when you can be seen, you are afraid. Why must my skies have the ability to turn gray? My scars remain, myself is what I want to retain, the lost are meant to be found. Sing me a goodnight song telling me that when I wake up, it will all be alright."

Desolate

Do you recall the time where there isnt much to worry about. Even the things that we worry for were not really things to worry about. The life we lead is pretty simple, a stage by stage based concept. When was the last time we stopped and thought about how life was getting complicated because of the things we choose to get into. Living the life, bumming around, making a huge number of friends, never really alone as most of the time you had many to call you, walk you, hang out with. But deep down, somewhere this heart feels lost, empty - desolate. Why do we still move on and seek the company cause all we needed wasnt the fact I got a thousand friends over freindster or the lastest-hip online network friends connection but the fact I had to get the feeling of loniless away just by knowing who I really am and all I should do is keep me company and that will make it all go away, not so easy by the way. It could be the loniliness that peaks and we fear being left alone in this world at present or in the future. We all are, that slient scream in our minds and hearts.

"Because we like the taste of freedom; because we like the smell of danger."

Not like the colours of the rainbow.

Sometimes we are too contented with looking at the colours that surrounds. We only kept looking but we did not use those colours to paint ourselves with it, so that we could enjoy it fully rather than just viewing. He stepped on many colours but he got lost within them. Why has it got to be in this way the way of loosing yourself in order to find yourself?

If you knew my history -

Not for a few more weeks till school reopens to a brand new year of studies. Well guess I'd not know what the whole year will unfold which I guess it makes me either excited as well as it leaves me with a litte fear and worry. Guess it is more of the choice I make of what I want it to be. As for the holidays, I have been a bum at pursuing to get a part time job, hunt for a little while and just went on with the days. While a part of me feels that I should work and get some knowlegde, earn some cash and spend the days wisely. However, the other feels that I should not want to plunge into growing up too fast and when will an adult in future get that much of holiday time?

As the time was used well too I guess with chilling with baby, church on Fridays, and a litte time at home with all the eating and catching of Dvds. Here and there,

catching movies, a new found crazy game for me at the arcade which I must win, haha. Walking around and enjoying the time together. From Kallang, Gardens, Amk, Bugis, Bishan and City Hall. Caught the Leap years and 10000bc. Leap year's was a rather good production, good plot with some good tearing moments and emotions being played which also meant how much the wait for love can cause. The other movie, was good too, effects and the deeper part into the story was commendable, must try out his sexy run, ha. Chilled around City Hall one Sat, had doughnuts which was quite a messy moment with laughter. Checked out the IT show 08' which was not surpirsingly packed up with hungry for phones, Tv, camera and laptop people. Dinner at Suntec and an early night backto Amk to chill around and have some alone time here and there with great pictures taken with her. The days before, was hanging around with her, her place, the usual spot, basic, happy duck rice and chicken rice at Bishan which we talked bout old memories of that place before we knew each other.

Sunday the 9th - was some good time. We never really stop talking since we met each other on the train where we waited as the rain had her taking the bus then the train. Chilled around, booked tickets at the Cathay, went to PS, checked out shops for my polo tees and others. Looked around for planned places to eat and ended up with a funny facial expression for S11 time at Cup Page centre. On to Billy Bombers for dessert cause the American Brownie is the bomb there. Good stuff though the first time we tried it tasted a little nicer. Maybe we had too much of Buffalo Wings before, this time. After the show, chilled and took photos and went on back to our usual spot, chat, had a call from Sherms hope he is doing fine. Hanged around, back home, chats over the phone, the whole day wasnt enough, ha ended my day or in other words my week. Great time baby - 182 photos and a whole lot of memories. Monday and Tues was homly times where the Dvds came into play. Wed, I had to meet up with baby. Went around, the rain made it a little more diff to get around such like Bugis street, had our noodles we planned to eat and had my love's fave Waffle Ice Cream at Nebo. Thereafter, we had to get another Zone X card, good thinker this girl of mine, but had the card under her name and that whatever cute picture at the back of the card, I had no choice but to keep it for my use then. Manage to hit stage four in the game and finally beat her at one game. Poolwas decided but the fully used tables chased us away. Spend more time, which is never ever enough. Got our PAssion revantage card and planned ahead for stuff coming in our calendar.

A little complication with Church, home and heading out with the weather not helping today, decided to stay home and catch some time with my lappy and tv shows on this day which I dont usually catch. The rest of the week ahead, I guess I will want to meet with baby, so few times this week. Stations at church, a might meet up with Selina and Sunday probably some lazy day or something.

Didnt I tell you to realize how much this cost. - Priceless.

Songs from nowhere -

There has been kilos of thoughts, if that could be measured, that I'd have blogged down but some are better already left in my head. Or had been taken over by my laziness. Thinking can be a great priceless tool or instrument that one has in different special ways for an indivisual. But it can really be a bore or an irritant as times when the powerful mind plays you out which dictates your every move and action, takes away sleep and leave you blank for awhile.

Anyways, over the last weekend, the topic of the Sunday time's was about expectations of Singaporean ladies about men in situations such like paying for dates, opening doors, remembering anniversaries, dressing up for occasions and even carrying handbags. I was glad that this topic popped out after so much bragging about this to my baby and some of my boys. Saying that some guys put on that gangster act, trying to give that impression they cannot be touch because of some crappy unglam tattoo that they have on thier arms or back. But end up carrying a pinky, girly and ugly looking fake Gucci pouch or handbag thier girlfriend's have but/yet not carry. Not knowing that they are just being a joke and a place for humour in the streets at times.

What the newspaper reported, was that ladies expect thier men to do many things for them from paying to sending them back home. Amazingly and to a shock it came to my knowledge that some guys even do not mind doing those for our pretty counterparts. Though for me, I trust that I respect, stay faithful, love and care for my girl but it would not mean I would so those things. Some girls in the survey stated that it would be love and respect for their boyfriends to carry thier handbags.

I'm certain that lady got the wrong definition from the wrong dictionary or search engine whatsoever. I hope that those reading the papers of course my gender of the male population would realize that we should not live up too much to women's expections of this sort which is not human or even equal as they want it now or in future. Since women would want to be equal in all ways then lets all be equal - Would women ever serve the Nation or would men ever give birth? I am stating the extremes in attemp to show whoever is reading my blog, the magnitude of silly stereotyping things happening even in the 21st century.

Would'nt it be faster for a lady to get the car door for herself rather than her man get it if they were late to catch an important appointment? Wouldnt it be nice once in awhile when women take a little more resposibility in leading and lightening the load off men? Would a lady finally take more sense into doing what thier totally capable of doing as thier male counterparts can? I said before that my girl has to be the girlfriend who would stand up for both herself and I, to be strong enough to carry her own bag and do the things all human beings can up to their own abilities. Not to spoil the image of her man by having him in a clean cut suit with a nice handsome tie but a little hand bag up his shoulder. Or pay, which is totally just a feed off, being a cheap girl dependant on men. Step up to the game and play women in all ways, be the role that you have not be the role in the expense of hurting someone else. Some guys are really not worth it, Yes, but dont forget not all guys are what you think. What if it is that perverty guy who have something up in his mind, up to no good and you expect him to send you back home? Dont think you have everything in your hands because you are a lady because not everything is, same goes for the men.

Therefore, I wanna shout out to my baby, though the covers of our true self have not peel off totally. I want you to be true always. To keep those mature thoughts going and to be the lady for me to love and to do all you can. Cause I'm to do mine. Thanks for not letting me be that guy who will have to worry about paying, opening and carrying stuff for you. As my baby is totally capable of that, she's the girl. Of course, I will play my part to show you respect and love in all so many different ways. Way apart from crazy dreamland expectations. That's my girl. You have been amazing in your thoughts and actions. Remaining strong and in doing your part. Sure we'll have some faults but through it all you come out better and improved. So much to word in our status but whatever it is, you have been the girl of my liking who I'm growing to Love. I'll be your man. - Justin.

There she is, my baby girl. You dont have to dream so big just love with all you can and be like no other in thier wasteful thinking. Look up into the sky with the stars in it because you clearly know what they mean. Ask me for evaluation cause you will know how you score, share with me your thoughts cause I'll be more than your shoulder and ears. Live life expecting to be better of course because we will work things out ahead. Treasure all around, your love ones and me because you are in my "The One's I Treasure List." Fear and worry not about me as we discussed because you will have nothing to worry about. Place all needless negativity away and look at important ones in the face and overcome them because I'll be right around to face them with you. Throw all temptations aside and know what you want and need, because I'm trying and I know I want and need you. See only Us till the end because when I think and see Us till the end, I only see your smile and feel your heart with mine. Love no other because I won't stop Loving you.

Underdress

Once again, I shall not post up much as there is certainly too much to word. To get me started, it is the end of Year One in Ploy. Year Two will be up come April. A part of me hope all is well to get into my elective course as the other part thinks that it may be to packed up with stuff. But I guess I got to do my best in whatever and juggle many things and be proud of myself. My Year's gpa - 3.2, should I be proud of it? I guess I should as know I did my best though not all the time, but the effort from just picking myself out of bed, doing up the layout and much more for presentation and trying at all UTs. I feel delighted yet I have to keep it up and going. Claps for my friends and baby for doing equally well of much better. So the long yet short holidays begin.

Jumped into the New Year's was the opener to my holidays. The previous few days was out with baby to celebrate the end of Year One, chilled around, skipped the last two days of school and was over at her place area till the time she needed to leave for New Year's over at Malaysia. Nice meeting you Aunty, by the way not just an aunty but my baby's mum! Thanks for the healthy drinks. Kept in contact with baby throughout for about four days. On my side, visitings as per usual. Various places, from locations of Seragoon Gardens, Mandai, Clementi, Queenstown, AMK, Kovan, Gih Moh Estate and Boon Keng. Guess there would be a few more which by now I would have a problem recalling. Collected a decent sum of Ang Baos. Though the other objectives of this highly celebrated festive season is to wish each other the best for the year/s ahead, meet and catch up and of course have fun in humble games of blackjacks and other gambling modes and eat.

After that quick buzzy week, it was sure another highly celebrated event. Stood in the later part of the following week was Valentine's day. Love - such a powerful word, splendid and glorious. Yet used worthlessly and the misuse of it has been casuing great damage. Till we all see it all as one. Few would actually know the meaning of Vday yet celebrate just because it is universal and claim to be done by lovers all around. Therefore, a normal loving couple would do the same from the fear of many things. Such as making his or her partner feel less worthy. Well in certain ways I beg to differ. Love should only be celebrated when it is felt. Though I celebrated it with baby, I made it clear that it was because of things we been and yet to have been through and the various other reasons behind - as to not make this post any inch longer. I hope you could see through me, the me that wants to be with you for all times, the me that is no average flirt, the me that wants to Love. Guess that says it all. A meaningful four days celebration with the long awaited meet up with her mum at her place. Time at gardens, the light up which took awhile cause of strong winds, was proud of it afterall. Town, dinner, walk down to Istana Park, Cab ride back, supper. Various things major or minor - in my heart. Movies together, p/s I Love You and Jumper. p/s Ily was a brillant picture with a good creative little plot with a great person to watch it with. Every part of the show Ithought of it deeper and related it to reality, how so important each mind plays to a show that they understand and sort to relate. The Love between friends, parents or in this case a mother and of course your partner. The things we go through, the reactions after a tragic event. I watch that moive twice, both with the best ladies in my life. My mum and baby. That is excluding my sis though. Jumper was all bout effects, the plot wasnt introduced well enough and I guess there might be part two in future. However, a power that would cause destruction in the real world if anyone would have it.

Other days ahead, chilled with my boys over at gardens. Chilling back home, Church for Stations of the Cross. Chilling with baby, Gardens, AMK and Town area, very pleasant times. Your smiles for me - wow. Finally my birthday dinner with family at Cafe Iguana. Met up with a bunch of Semester one classmates including my baby of course. Quite a blend catch up but at least it was good. Billy Bombers for dinner and coffeebean for chills and chats, small walk arounds in between. Earlier before the meet up, it was with baby, walked around, read childern's books and just enjoying around with her. Yesterday Tues, we decided to head to East Coast, had a shocker at prices, chill for a little while but my nose was runny and decided to have an early night. It was nice just walking around with her and thanks for the ice cream. Looking forward for all so countless nice times around the next time. Today, I have some time for home and there, my post for the blog. I have been wanting so much to blog but my laziness can actually murder me. Soon for more. My bad I didnt head on for the surprise Freely and I didnt go for the long time catch up with my kindergarden teacher and friends. It all came at once, with me being tired and down with my skin condition and runny nose as well. You'll never know the misery and that's a good thing.

-I choose always to be the better me for you. I choose to be the best that I can be, let me expect to hit my own expectations rather then you put me down for me weaknesses and for not meetings yours out there. Because by picking out my weakness is your own weakness. Fight the bull by it horns and take me till the end. Clean up after fight and fall. - I just cleared up.

Stone -

A pretty long time since I've blogged. There is too much word. Well it has been rather alright, from the previous hols, from regular Chilling, Vivo City, Mt Fabour, Movies -AVP2, One Miss Call and Body 19. Out of the three, Body 19 wins it, plot, effects, sound and thrill, thanks Baby. Chills, Birthday celebrations, last lap of Year One of school, lunch at Causeway, Cine and our "Bone"less duck noodles, Coffee shops and 9pm chinese shows, Hub, Bugis Street, Arbrab Street and Concourse, Suntec City, Casurina, Hog's Breath Cafe, Prata and Breakfast from her, meant much, smiles and hugs. Now, it's all over for Year One, Peace out to my class, W25G bunch of yet another signifcant people, my bad I had so little time with you guys but all are kept well in my memories. This is what changes do to people but oh wells, till then whenever guys. Birthday, was cool, with class and ex classmates, YV, Friends, Family, Wishes and Baby. Thanks much all has been well appreciated. 19th. Our spots, School, Nebo, China Town and Clark Q with Baby, great to have you with me, whole of stuff. To the club with the boys last night and before that was at Dalvin's. Happy Birthday Shuping, Dalvin and Jasveer. All in to one, such a summary so much in my memories - Worthy. Lets enjoy the Poly Holidays people and Have a great Lunar/Chinese New Year 08'!

Lets walk the road with choose together and let the past be with the past, let it be the teachings for the future, let us mean the good and positive things that we say. Let the sad songs mean nothing yet the meaningful ones mean so much. Choose to be the better. I cant bare so much anymore, not now, not ever, it will be brick by brick. We can forget trying to understand this cruelty because isnt this all made up by man.

Why do we do ourselves with thoughts, thoughts of the negative? The mind is such a powerful tool so much so, it needs to stop sometimes. The feelings is not tasteful, the worry, the needless tensions and your insensitive comments arent encouraging to the little-less of any extend. Experiences comes highly sound advise but only when it is used with careful thinking before speaking your mind. If I had spoken my mind, if we all spoke out our mind will we be prepared for war?

Tight.

Through the times many go through changes. Some differ beyond what others can remember. The life that seeks peace and true love has become a sadistic game that we all happen to be players in this sinful stage we play on. Some try to be normal but by being normal, they seem abnormal. I've been myself. Control is the key to a better life or living but what are we living or what are we trying so hard to control. Isn’t it cruel to leave someone beneath the dirt for the weakness that he has and thinking that by stating his weaknesses will ever make you stronger? Words are so powerful, we often forget that. They are massive and strong once said, another will have an impact. Words are just words some say, so now I say - You are wrong living within yourself, denial leaks and fear appears upon your face, you are not worth it - nothing. Does that only seem like words to you now? It may but - think again and again.

Dont let anyone be a priority in life when you are just an option in theirs.

Moderate `

The blog's not dead.