Tight.

Through the times many go through changes. Some differ beyond what others can remember. The life that seeks peace and true love has become a sadistic game that we all happen to be players in this sinful stage we play on. Some try to be normal but by being normal, they seem abnormal. I've been myself. Control is the key to a better life or living but what are we living or what are we trying so hard to control. Isn’t it cruel to leave someone beneath the dirt for the weakness that he has and thinking that by stating his weaknesses will ever make you stronger? Words are so powerful, we often forget that. They are massive and strong once said, another will have an impact. Words are just words some say, so now I say - You are wrong living within yourself, denial leaks and fear appears upon your face, you are not worth it - nothing. Does that only seem like words to you now? It may but - think again and again.

Dont let anyone be a priority in life when you are just an option in theirs.

Moderate `

The blog's not dead.

Slips in +

"Could it be the light at the end of the tunnnel."
Sweet's the taste

Happy Birthday Baby! Hope you enjoyed every single bit of it. Smile always.

Thanks for the presents all! Great.

The tree right home.

The family! Peace out always. All smiles.

This entry brings me to post in on my last post of the year. The year which was filled up much with the all so usual ups and downs. From my results, time around, holidays, church, commitments to Poly life and the new people and the one who changed into someone special. This year has been much of confusion and all things which not only made me weak at first, but had made me stronger to hold myself together to come this far and much till this day where I forward look upon the coming years and the new year 2008!

Well there is certainly too much to word about the days and times of this year. But it has been one where is not as easy constrasting when it was way back with less or no worries. However, it taught me to look at the things I had in my life both having and gaining. It is for me to know and for me to keep in my memories and for it to grow not in my mind but in my heart. The many things I have been through, some dont even dare to take a mile in my shoes.

Coming back to much of the present and the past few days, it has been a rather busy or packed week of Chirstmas. It would have been more packed than ever if I didnt manage my time better. Well there is also too much to word, may be in the upcoming post pictures will do the talking. Wells, for a short bit of update, it satrted of with shopping and the attempt to get into the festive mood which was rather difficult in some way for no appearant reason. Got most of the things I wanted for others and kinda enjoyed in some way too nice times too with my mum and friends who joined in.

-24th, It was over to Sze Lee's house on the Eve. Baby's friends place, thanks for the invite, it was well and good to have met her friends and of course share that moment of dinner and cake with her crazy but great stuff, pressured me with her friends though it was fun. It was not slow as usual for time to get on, for me to head back to attend Mass at church as usual, with my family at midnight mass where the feel got a little stronger, wishes to many then after and back for my family get together. Opening of presents was fun, dear, pleasant and much enjoyed and appreicatied. Pretty good and useful stuff I've got and of course gave.

25th! - Onwards, was headed over to Shuan's, as I was rather late, 4am - I missed out on quite a number of people and YV, however it was a good catch up with some and a few new faces. A short chill with bud and other boys, which ended early in the morning where I made my way in about 630am back with baby where she had work in the approaching hours of that day. Home, rest through the day and the evening of Christmas was over at my Unlce's, good food a little drama but in hope it was all good.

26th! - "Happy Birthday Sin Yee baby!" Suprised Baby at her place (she was asleep), on the dot on time, awesome me, haha. Thanks to my dad and my mum for help and for the lift to her place. It's her birthday right smack after Christmas Day. Celebrated, just the two of us with the presence of her, presents, food, candles and sticks game at our usual cosy chill and hang arounds. Hope she enjoyed much and kept it dearly at heart. Thus, the rest of the day ahead was for her. Game of Pool, Dinner, Derssert, Movie, Cake to her face, Chills and Hangs around, Bubbles, Lay downs, River and Brigdes, Breakfast, Photos - Time! Thanks the heavens and to my planning, everything carried out was rather great and much time was shared with each other to end of the day to the sunrise right into the next, together. Love the presents too alright Love the efforts, thoughts and me more. Hugs.`Everything was meant for you, to see you smile to feel me there, to hold you, to watch over - to beat the same beat.

Happy birthday to Wendy and three of my baby's friends too.

27th. - Over to big man's place, a little tired out but dropping by was cool enough yeah. Nice to meet the few in awhile. Thanks baby for coming by too.

28th - Happy Birthday Reena and Sherlyn. Headed over to Sher's in the evening baby came too. Chilled, watched tv and had mini little chats.

29th - Headed out with baby. Hugs. I read you, tightly I hold, tightly. Dont you ever think of the negative. Smiles. (Salty, I am still yours) Smiles again. Ha.

30th - Headed out with family, dinner which closed 07' and well wished for the coming.

31st - Alone time, recovery and reflects of the year and the needs and wants of the new! Happy New Year - 2008 in my heart I made my aims/aspirations/resolutions as I move forward! Peace out all over!

Even though

"Now the top of my list would be for us to shine like the star at its highest at all times. Alike the lights, shall the world shine. Sparkles in your eyes can only reflect I. For He is given to the world, may He show and for us to discover His Love, that I never fail to want to pass on. "

Through the years big man, we gotta keep it real.

` The search for peace has rotten into a sign, obtaining never been easy. '

Now you know I am yours. Smile like you mean it, say it like you hold it true, kiss me like you love it. If time is the only thing we want with each other; 24 hrs will never be enough. Reaches to touch you, jumps to feel your thoughts. Light this up baby.

The holidays are in action as the school days were ended last Friday for the year 07'. I do not have to stress how time presses forward. The past weeks, were near closing to the end of school, much time with baby, outs with parents, helped out at church with its Christmas decorations, chills with bud with a stay over, chills with the boys; the rest are for memories and simple rest back home. Missed out on a few events, but Happy Birthday Sculls. Happy chalet Old boys from the leadership board. Happy clubbing for xmas too, I wont be there. Been pretty lazy to blog but I cant seem to just leave without a note before such a celebrated event, Christmas. I hope most will not forget the true meaning of it, neither should people dismiss the real meaning and in their hearts just waiting to recieve. The gift of Jesus is what it is, He is the gift from the Lord almighty. There it begins this pleasant festive feel, where giving and recieving was met and that this is why we all celebrate it for.

Happy 17th year Jolene, birthday at her place.

Thanks to baby

for the company, we did great at the games we played, you the girl.

Yet for me to have the feel though it is not for three days only. Presents are more or less settled, so much of thinking, giving and purchasing of course which leaves my pocket to crack up in tears, hoping it is all worth just to place that feel in someone elses heart with the priceless smiles moved by tight muscles before they open their gifts up. Happy holidays and a fabulous unforgettable Christmas looking forward to 08' too to those worth my wishes. Till then.

I have been me, never beat differently. I need to Trust and Love myself as I should never go under. I need this, I need to feel you. I cant go on to scream.

Action of words

`Stop for a moment and look what you have, most of the time is it something made up. This one is not. Taken not for granted and seize the time or moment, obstacles are meant to be overcome and going through with it with the people that mean huge is already some reward.`

Flying by the week went. Time spent, pretty smiles given and recieved lighten moments. School daily with grades I should feel proud yet humble about. End of Ut Two meant the start of Ut Three. Chills with baby her and along the week with my boys. Chills to Sherms, pretty long while since we caught up and yes the same old funny times was most needed with the company of Dal and food to surround. Friday was for her, enjoyable and funny. The time, was worth being next to each other, even just the presence of each other in the midst of slience, is Golden. Fish and Chips, Fried mars bars and Sundae was fulfilled. Sat, was a recovery day from the usual late nights and work time in the past week of school till the night. The day was lazy with the use of my laptop and some time with my mum and home. Baby made her way down after her time in town. Time was cruely fast but despite that, the walk, little chats and yes the web was sweaty stuff, no changes - Enjoy. The after midnight hours was left for supper with Gab till three. Incredible chats along the same frequency where he feels me, I feel him, good chats and never failing maturity; more on that soon. I got his back and away with negative vibes we must proceed.

Sunday, was considerably a recovery sunny day too. Woke unusally early before 12 or so, with the thoughts of her at work. Music in the depths of the bed was the location I sunk my thoughts and voice in. Fast forward, late lunch and the accompany of my mum for evening mass, good time where I'd say it had been awhile and the sense of church brought deep memories and peace that I seek. Dinner back home with the knowledge that she's able to meet ended my week in a rather good way with the company and the look through of various pictures, byes to the comb, frog and ants goodnight. The conversation which took place after, the value of what each feel and the maturity in thoughts and the faith and hope we must build, giving each other our word must endure.

The 10th week of school begins.

Tendencies

Match the matchable, different yet attractive. Stars glow alike how your eyes do, the feet dont fit thats then different for our heart beat.

Close to a month I have not been blogging, due to technical difficulties and the problem with blogspots password login manner. Well as close to a month been in the past, there's too much to word. The week before, semester two's one week break, two faci's were being replaced, one being quite a less desireable one who pissed the class off, not surpisely me as well. Either than that the week moved on quickly and the holidays came in as quick as it left for another month plus of school. Chalet with my ex classmates from semester one. Pretty fine, but with a little short coming of negative comments and such, but no worrying on that as I feel the whole planning was fine and we certainly can realize who the leading and better ones were. I fell fluish and left on the second day of chalet in the morning. Shout outs and thanks to the friends who cared and especailly protrayed their concern. The boys, Yann and CH. The girls, Mei, Jess and Baby. Appreciated. So too to my parents, great care. The rest I Shall leave to memories.



The rest of the week was to recover which led me into not meeting up with my current classmates. Time went by, had a long awaited chill and dinner with Gab bud and Sarah lady, good and nice. Then to top the night/morning off, met for a hang out with baby. Next day was for her too, Vivo then to Sentosa was the venue. Valuable time spent, from just the giggles to the serious moments, nice time listening to her voice, the company and just the simple components such like the wind, trees, waves, rain, sand and hugs made up the surrounding, - unforgettable and heart pumping with lappy, ice cream and doughnuts, etc.



Sat, was for my boys, met up with a bunch of them, long time. Chills to Sculls, Daryl, Eugene, Christopher, his two other friends and Daniel. Night was pretty great with them just shooting jokes on each other with good dinner, laughter had been great and of course the bring back of the old times, where we all seem we hadn't change when we get together during times like those. Missing usual, were Sherms, Bong, Hus and Dal. Baby met up laters. Yeah.



Sunday, Happy Birthday wishes to Lady Sarah, who was pretty easy to trick to a birthday surpise however, it was still tiring cant imagine just being alone with her without Jamie and Varian. Alright lunch, at Sushi Tei. Hope all's well then Bud, not many at all are born with a mind at 60 and definitely having not to be senstive enough thinking someone must be as strong or stronger than them.

New week, back to school. Different feel in some way but the week was pretty good except for some unforeseen lack of control of temper, but who's to blame. Two test along the week, couple of chills with baby and still not enough time. Visited Novena, and brought baby to Gardens finally, hope she likes the place cause that's where I live, spend my time and chill over the years and I would with her. Bummed into her friends, Jing Long and a few others, where they celebrated their friend, Chai K's Birthday, had good dinner and time together till it was time to head back, met back her friends there the day ended with alone time for a walk back home. Fruitful in some ways, where no words can be better to word it down. Till then.

Without the Heart I still beat

The last thing was to have him and her with drown faces only printed on walls of our memories. Trying too hard to come out, impact and to keep things real. Faded and blurred added to their agony.

Another week has gone by, school life is still as mundane as it could possiblily be with the class being the norm boring crowd. A few short outings after school and a hang out after school last Friday, visited Marina area which included the Singapore River. Much eating and muching away, from NewYork NewYork and Macs. Caught "Brother" for a movie, not too bad a show, Trust was one main factor the show's protraying and in reality Trust is really difficult to instill yet easy to take away. Trust is one of the most bestrayed virture there is at present. But certainly it still exist and it should be dearly respected and cherished.



Sat was a total recovery day of more than 12 hours of sleep. The night was spent in my living room, sofa for my comfort and finally the Tv for my entertainment. Since I attended school, my lap top is everything till the Tv seemed to be displaced. Quiet interesting shows and some sports and music added into the list of my shows.



Today being a sunday seems like a really slack day with nothing that interesting to do which leaves this time for me to blog. With the music playing and echoing off the four walls, surrounded by thoughts added more so from the songs played.



Saying something that last for a few days or more only, seems curel and for love to stop seems to be murder. For leaving-trying to forget friendships seems to have stop people from having the ability to hold on. When at times we keep thinking and sinking in thoughts seems to be one having to be lost in a deep forested jungle with nothing left to rely on, nothing to look forward to, nothing to depend on and where you become prey when we were so darn used to being the predators. In between faith I stand and I let fear be my guidance, I want to be but can I be? No longer my protection. Fakes smiles and faces arent the way to escape, loosing you may not be my lost, maybe there's no may.

Not the old for the new//

Like little innocent kids who werent aware of the coldness of the world, such a blissful ignorance till thee encounter envelopes them with fear, sin and pain. Some say we ought to live that way, keep saying that the way you live is not ok. Always trying to be someone else but not yourself, forcing yourself into some else's shoes. It's some overblown scheme, setting our minds to expensive things.

My time for blogging is back for a bit. Days and weeks had been rushing by, nothing much but the routine life of presentations and right now, UTs which was fairly difficult and more so did my first one this semester on paper, as my password sort to expire on such a day. The rest of the time were meet ups with a growing slim number of friends, talks and one or two chill outs. Some module problems are getting more difficult yet more interesting I would say. The last few happenings were chill outs over at vivo with a shocking thing to do, such as to study before that. The afternoon when fine with much wishpers to our ringing hand phones then a decision to vivo where we met two working friends and a good little painful tickle as we exhange words and occasional smacks with grass messing around. Last Sunday was finally church, a rather vague memory of real chats and catch ups but was delighted enough to finally meet my fella buddy and a couple more. Lunch with family back at vivo and a night spent with my lap top. Some outdated photos which I failed to find time to upload them, above.

A little bit of heaven and a hell lot of hell.

Now towards the left.

Beauty in what's a flaw ^

Hangs. Standstill. Motionless. The edge. Worries. Unclipped. Holding on. By the string. So thin. Less Faith, less bother. Not alone but so alone. Dark, only black and white. Forces by wind and gravity. Slipping. Lost in the old photographs. Old. Unkept. Swings. Unbarable. Disabled from screams. Pointless. Not the best. Anti-social. Bite.