Flies

Blogging even when I'm in the airport. Here's just using the free internet while awaiting to get into the plane! Smiles to everyone.

Walk back

This weekend approaches with more feelings involved, leaving school, last day (24th) and begins my three weeks of holidays. Hope it will be well spent. My family and I will be heading off to Perth, Aus - for 8 days, tonight on a midnight flight so call it Sat morning if you wish.

Thus, this short post will speak of what the next post or so would be on, soon after I'm back. Since it was the last day of school yesterday, my post would be up next on the whole of W14P, though it's the first class of my Poly life, and that in itself speaks of how special this class already was, they have been a huge part of my feels and time, amazingly special in various ways. More on them soon, misses for them out there. Emo feelings are not present, just misses no worries.

In addition, it would be more or less on my holidays with more special and as always people, my family. Misses to my little cute pretty dog, Duchess as she left this morning without my hugs as I woke late. Will collect her back after I return, hope the pet stay-in would be great, making friends and all and if I ever do find out that she's not treated well, you gotta know someone there would be in trouble, badly.

To all: readers, friends, buddies/classics and Yv - Have yourself a great time too, be it at work, school, home, holidays and whatmore, enjoy. More catch ups then.

Through the time spent let me be a part occupying some place in your heart, photographic memories of your face and smiles might fade but what's left in your heart will beat even till the time comes, nothing's more alive than that after.

We walked by _

Once again, another rainy day. Second last day of semester one, last lesson of the most confusing, stressful and poeple-going-crazy-making; math and computing module. Finally! Most will say till semester two, moreover with a different class and most likely the change of facilitators. Wells the day went by quite fine. Another slow walk to school with the dizzle of rain drops on my head till the shelters of school. Class was once again really empty with just about 11 classmates. Got my Mircosoft Office 07, finally. Funny of me, after all the lessons, I just got that just for one more lesson till the next sem, but it's cool anyways, cheers for all this features and the smart people behind it. Accompanied by the ever mad Sin Yee while waiting for my laptop at the libary. Good yet mad with the exchange of footwear, daring her to go on walking with one shoe and slip ons or bearfooted back to class. But she only did a short distance to peep to check if my lappy was done. Chatted, slacked and nudged for the rest of the time with a cookies and cream drink and her choc waffle, as if she really eats that little.

Back to class was amusing, none doing work but just play, and a watch of a little dirty show on my classmate, Chun How's laptop. Played poker cards/push ups-5 for each card left. Sin Yee and Azura did some too, no exceptions for ladies. Threw honey stars around, aiming for my friends' mouths and just messing the class up for what's left of it. Thereafter, my friend Shy, told me she had a weird little dream with me in it.

Her story - She and I were lost or stuck in JB, Malaysia. As we were taking the bus and the WIND blew my wallet away! Her cash was somehow gone too. Fast forward, jumped into a cab, she saw a dead body out of the window and before she knew it, I was out there carrying the dead body. How creepy. Yet then, everything settled or something, we were dating each other, she my girlfriend, I her boyfriend. Uh? Wow, interesting, troubled dream there Shy! You watch to many movies and listen too hard into punk metal whatever genre that makes you go half deaf. So too, please leave your comments to yourself Azura! Speaking of her, I cant believe and I guess I'm still in shock of her naughty little gesture to me today! Dear girl - it was damn shocking, this time I will not ask for - again again!

Presentation was all some sort short gun, unplanned and we left it to talking our way through which we actually did fairly well. More or less a okay day. Slept back home and just my self times with my lappy.

Fear is not my mistake, fear is good yet nagative. Fear teaches you. Fear overcomes, fear's common sense. Sometimes we want what we cant have.

Accidently everything *

It was difficult to forget, as it was hard to forgive. For all the times, which part really mattered? We will still be missing, lost even with a compass in hand, directions seem to fade or blurred out.

Some say the past makes you stronger, it has the same power to make you weaker. A friend said it was childish and we should just focus at present. Darn true but we took differnet routes so the author of the stroy wasnt the same.

They try too hard to be somebody else which they got caught up with and had themselves stuck. Frozed into a stand still position, where he helped and cared too much of others that he lost himself, neglected from helping, hurt from his concerns, affected by his own power to tell and the advise he dont apply.

We play the game so hard and dertermined, as if we controlled each and every step. What some of us dont realise - We think that we play the dies, but the dies plays you.

Contemplating to throw that burning coal to him, but not knowing you will get burn first in order to pick the sizzeling coal up then.

In question of why he gets so worked up at what may be his faults or shortcomings. Lack of ability to turn his weaknesses around. Uncalled for, no show of appreicativeness, no show of them, no show as they were caught up, moved on too quickly or was he standing still? It sure seems like the latter.

Sad, sorrowful and pain filled novel this is. Charaters in this dont care, elements missed, thoughts unspoken. Becuase, there was someone better, someone more up to it, faster and beautiful. Pride closed our doors.

If the rich wage a war, the poor would die. We fight different trends of war. Stumble, the rich doubts the poor. But the poor is richer is various other ways, those the money dont blind.

They try to catch you down and dirty, they watch when you are unconsicious; to come up fast -Climbing up the ladder was quick, falling off was a lot quicker.

Sometimes all we needed to do was to listen.

Tossed like a stone.

A quick get up from bed, awoken to new day which makes me wonder at times if it's a positive thing, though I sort to acknowledge how valuble life is. Third last day of school, last lesson of Enterprise. Pretty interesting one it turned out to be, "Work to live - Live to work." Priority and Balance. My team created a game for this problem statement, pretty cool and agreed by my Facilitator and my fellow other classmates. School ended no earlier than the past few days, however it was alright. Was to meet my bud for dinner and a catch up before I leave for Perth come Friday. My apology, as my tiredness over ruled and as my bed seem to have swallowed me in and spat me out in time in order to get my relfection jorunal done. Team mates - Yann, Shy and Azura.

Heart and chains.

The past week had its end. The goodbyes to two forgien classmates. Waffles and hugs, have a good and safe trip till we meet or bum into each other next semester, Lulu and Nana. Days went by quick, accompanied with boredom and nothingness; just a flow of time watching it waste with little meaning. Last Friday, it poured heavily, apporximately the longest walk time to school under the covered walkway. It had ought to be a reflective one, as each droplet of water met my cheeks, driven by the winds. The atmosphere was set to drown in deep thoughts which places the sun nowhere to brighten up the sky. Puddles, too lazy for me to walk around them, to watch others quicken their paste furthering my sight of them. Others kept warm by another, jackets or double layered. While others boast as if they could take the cold and harsh winds any longer than a girl with little clothes in the bus on the way to school. That morning kept the rest of the day under the shades. Sang aloud in class, guess it would have shock others in class, my bad I guess the rain got into me. It was alike getting into a trance, while listening to my favoured music, lost within its words, beats and meassges it brings. Something different presented itself, instead of presentations as per norm, this time it was to be a class presentation for science. In other words, four teams that day had to choose certain topics about the MRI machine and present it as a class. A protryal of unity to some extend but it place our ability to share and communicate to the test, which sadly I watch some fail, with also acknowledging mine at stake.

Weekend wasnt much alike the last with a couple of friends, smokes, drinks, catch ups and lost loves. This time, one on one with the non-stop use of my laptop and the rest - bed, both days. Couple of movies watched, a few nice and watchable twice types while others ought to be deleted soon. PM speech with my family sinking myself in the sofa with a dozen or more munches on snacks. The speech was rather enlightening at how foward looking my country's being. Various plans and vast outlooks, we cant help but anticipate the outcome a few years or more down the road. Age has been an issue too, not forgetting the constant studied satistics on retirement age, my time, 75years old maybe would be the age to retire? However, it is good to know that this country is still going through this constant upgrades, it just makes it all a better place and sometimes redeems its failures and faults. Many shut their doors with skeptic feels yet others still in hope this little red dot wouldnt fall complacent.

We are not waiting to heal, we are all awaiting to cure. This fear in our hearts does not speak the absence of courage, it only speaks of our expected outcome in the long or short run, fall, crashes and burns into ashes. Our bottled up love and common sense breaks and shatters into fragments lost - "Chapters we wanna just rip out."

-

when it crashes down onto the cold floor. Conform to sorrows, wanting to break out seem heart threatening. Fear once again in your eyes when you try to foresee the future. Elements we tend to place by our sides to keep us safe has been lost to the times we seem to not need them. Restoring the same feel will never be the same, but it has the storming power to be better which many thought differently. Does he question himself, that hate grew within, from the simplest of things; himself. The confident eating problems and sufferings, he covers than shows it. While others remain, forcefully containing it till its time. Why am I breathing here?

They know when it is me, when I speak to you it is sort of unique, my words are deep, think before you daze and all you do is tap your feet. Sheep under wolf's clothing various things to hold on and keep.

Just dont be like that today.

Quickly the laziness sets in to not blog as often. I will soon when I have the gathered energy.

You dont really want to mess with me today just because alittle something something didnt go your way. I'm trying not to be like that some day. I dont give a shit untill you invade my space just go away.

Do we always have to cry, where would you run from all these, you are living a lie.

Hate is what the world can see lately. It's all a card game, we just place our bets, why would you care, they can forget even to call each other, baby.

Beating myself with my thoughts but I cant put it to an end with the tip of my knife. Life's a lesson and we'll know it when we are through.

It is fine and we both feel the same way, loosing our pride was our fear, now not being ready is our worry.

Living the life was a whole lot more difficult, moving with the flow was a whole lot easier.

Then she meant I love you, and what makes you think she didnt mean I hate you?

I'm looking out of my window from the world that takes you away, tell me why is this so disgusting. I want to be on my way. Tell me why. It will be ok.

Wide and convex len snaps, caught the glimps of your sadness, is there a better place I can take me. Tired of checking myself, check yours.

Tunes fade, old memories last, the love felt; lost. Thoughts unspoken, screamed yet unheard. Teared but aborbed, want something done right, maybe you should do it yourself. Why the heck to make somebody like me, I could use some help. My life has been what till now? Why would I want to hurt someone like me, how could I do myself like that, I need to come back.

It's done, the repeated feeling when I see something that reminds me of you. Why the heck was I so forgiving. Why the heck did they try so hard. WHY?

Then I want to hear the angel's sing.

Dreams at the subway station.

The previous two days were as per norm as they could be, thankful for the new day as I take my first sight of the day and not be lost indarkness forever, yet lost in various ways. Routine life, from school to home. A start to this new week last Monday, second last week till the next semester, some of my friends and I cant really stress much on how insane this is, how quick and now we are left to miss yet worry for the next semester upcoming with the fear that attempts to eat us. Guess, we are all left with little choice that has always been this way. Today then, (14Aug) - Ut test/science. Seemed pretty, just alike ladies on surface then deep on the inside with complexity, past lessons and tricky time consuming metal calculations. Headed on to another relatively interesting Enterprise lesson, regarding time, and decisions. Both vital compotents in our fagile lives. Time is merciless, really, it dismisses all rules, or laws. It's by far the most defiant, it dont behold no virtues patience nor love. Then comes decisions which will dertermine the use of time to bring out either its brightside or its down. We struggle to handle them both. For many issues in our lives or at least for mine, that I overlook these items or compotents, which ever you may want to call it, for a lack of a better word, 'options' we can choose to have. Why do we choose to do so little when we can choose to do that much?

As I take my walks from one location to another, my surroundings tell a story. From the kind gestures of giving up a seat for an elderly and with courtesy in return to hugs and kisses to love ones as one leaves for work or boards off or on transportation modes, leaves me with no less than a grin and a good feel. On the other hand, when one even walking beside his potential being wife, throws a half drank Coke cup, pulled and directed by wind and gravity into the flower brushes in the midst of a worn out-tired looking cleaner no further than five meters away. Then leaves me with no less with a frown and angered tension within, which then now leaves it to someone elses ability or want to do something.

This stroy's moral, test one's strenght to recover someone elses mis-deeds, which stabs questions to question oneself, will I pick the Coke cup up and throw it away? Will I then let the cleaner who is paid to do so, do it anyways? Will I portray the same gestures to an elderly, acknowledging that some may be so rude and show no gratitude? Going back to the compotent, time. Azura my act cute little loud classmate, partner in insanity and keeping sane and I realised that time keeps ticking and we both wondered and agreed that even travelling through and fro, home to school is time ticking. As we watch others in the train, do they know this? How many of them actually know what to expect or even know what are they doing? We all cross this vicious torns of what life may bring. I'm just looking with both hands at the back, bending forward and backwards passing through vast crowds for someone to share this with.

"To stop figuring someone elses identity, but ours. We need Change."

Story's narrator.

We all should pick it up cause we will all die some day.

Recovery sleep once again today from the really late bed timings I had, on previous days. A quick dinner with finally the end of the last episode of Heroes. Clearly a good plot, directed fairly well, fidles' mind and feelings with the message of importance, of family and "Love." It is funny how in this tangled and twised sick world, spinning out of control still has the ability distingushing Love. As the past in written on stone and the future written on sand with currents from the sea potentially and patiently waiting to surf and erase. Quickly today ends, with thoughts of a new week that awaits ahead, second last week to the end of my first semester. Yays of sighs - my words speak.

Previously (11aug07)

• Met up, the occasional early Sin Yee and I. Together with other classmates for a day's hang out in addition, to catch a movie - Rush Hour 3. Relatively alright moive with good amount of jokes constantly however, the storyline wasnt as good with more or less repeated moves and use of props, length of the show speaks well of its title ~ rush hour. Before the movie, a visit to topshop with Sin Yee and Jess, came along Eugene, Azura and one lost and late boy, Kenny. All in all, with the reminder of Me being bad in Mandarin, an attempt to read a bedtime story and a walk through childhood memories in the kids section of Taka building. After the movie, the unsightly looks of people dressed up for Cosplay. How people try too hard to remain looking good and sane while others seek for many more reasons to turn heads and speak of insanity. Buys of a girl at the flea market next to Cine who qiuckly fell into a shopping spree with giving me no chance to save her dollars she could have with a little more charm time from me. Soon after, departure from them and I. So to the meeting of another bunch.


• Caught up with a bunch, with our draggy moments of waiting but entertaining moments displaces them overtime. Dinner and after chills were fairly good with much laughter by poking fun at each other every other tick to a minute. Suprise meeting out of the midst with my ex baby, how we showed each other our misses. What a love story within the whole night's situation which promoted curious thoughts and judgements from others. Crazy as it is to the audiences who watched with jaw drop reactions of how one love awaits and the other dampens. How feelings of others are fidled in pure awarness but ignorance presist. "Absolute power" we behold to change , I reckon from my reflection journal, but we fail to use these power wisely yet at the expense of others - a sad story which left me alone in the past again. But the chill out carried on , for more walks, chats, cash spending and a bet over a football match - on Liverpool. Was a good but could have been a more fulfilling hang out but it wouldnt have been more dramatic so far. Thus, a head home by a money wasting transport none other by, cab.

Love is like death.

Dying's as easy as dying can be hard.

With someone disappointed in you.

The Friday was a bloom towards a slight faster moving episode of my past week. During the day in class, a first time six-man team and sure it was five or less in terms of who truely did and shared their contributions. Class was once again chilly due to the large absence of my fellow classmates who did not share the air conditioning. A few bundles of laughter and a quick end to the day with just three teams presenting. A felt short walk to the subway station with a bunch of classmates made my walk less self reflective with their jokes and little chit chats. Moreover, with a little step on someone's slippers and a close nudge to end off the journey back home. Dinner and Heroes with mum, which after not long overtime, my eyelids took to rest and conversations coming from the interesting episode failed to penatrate any further in my ability to listen.
"Before we bite, Reflect." ( Picture )




Woken from the high frequencies by my moblie's ring tone to find myself in agreement for supper and always a good catch up. Moreover, in anticipation and curiosity of what I was to be acknowledged about from my fella buddy.

After a mass conversation through Msn messagener with my friends; confirmed plans were made, thus I was better to go for supper. The meet up with Gab and Sarah. Recalling when was the previous time these three classics got together. Macs was the venue, good company, rather refreshing and seeing both smiles from those two were delighting. As hours seem to speed a thousand ticks more, a sound summary of the night/morning was: Long awaited, matured and a bloody constructive laughter filled time and catch up.



- No time was better to arrive back home than 4! And a delighted part in me for a shiny little spark that lits and kindles the vessels of my classic buddy. I bet I saw the sunset and sunrise this time ( 11Aug - 7.12am ) as I head the sacks for a couple of hours before heading out.

• As my hearts beat faster and faster. Sometimes beginings arent so simple and goodbye's the only way. Fear is not afraid of you and guilt's a language you can understand, I hope the actions speak the words they can.

Misses of the Sunrise and the Sunset.

Awoken not by any but by my own body system which triggered itself up after more than 12hrs of sleep. Recovery after lost sleep and rest time throughout the days, it felt good yet rather a waste of time. Still in bed, commentary of the National Day Parade through the speakers of my living hall Tv roughly told me what time it already was. A quick get up then to settle down, sat in the comforts of the sofa viewing the first time ever parade held on a floating platfom was rather new and good. Accompanied by my family and a couple of snacks and pizza was all for my 3in1 meal for the day, night I mean. Tv was for the whole night, 'Troy' was the holiday night movie, it was worth watching it for the second time. The weekend draws yet again closer, in hope it will be a good one, with chills, rest, school, family, time to clear thoughts and slack; away from thoughts that motivates sleep for refuge.

Sometimes people fail to comprehend another, in thoughts of having think that they have been through more. In pure doubt that he is unsure of what he had been doing. The Critical being, with the very fear of looking into the mirror.

Do we have to say, do or hurt somebody else for the pure weakness and insanity of your own insecurities?

For the people who doubt and judge just because of the opportunity they miss back when they were sixteen, all they would want to tell you is you cant make it or do shit. Then here comes us just yet, cause all we wanna do is scream back!

"Peace is for the wounded." - That will be the debate's notion, I await the oppositions!

Fighting the neagtive momentum +

Snail paste was the approach to the new day ( 8th Aug 07 ). Slow and unwilling to do much, just like rusted joints needed oil; everything seem as if it was just doing things for the sake of doing them. No better it got as the anticipated problem statement uploaded itself into my laptop. Like a foreign situation I found myself in, unable to understand the complexity of what will lie ahead much into the day. After discussions with the very low turn out in class, and the failure of still not understanding motivated my other team partner to leave in the midst of the afternoon during our second break. Did'nt I mention there was'nt any of my team there was only two, and me being the one without the VB program to help out any further. After much thought, Sin Yee decided to be the real her, naughty and I had little choice but to follow, one for all in this stucked situation, so there goes Team 2 for the day. - Shock to the class of how this two seem to be so well behaved in attendance, skipped! ~ It wasnt me.

Headed to the school libary's cafe where we still had some will in us to complete the power point presentation slides in order to upload it. Chill, slack and chatted our way through while awaiting my so called well behaved or good classmates who stayed the way through in class, for dinner planned.

Short chill and dinner at AMK Hub's Fish and Co was rather good with relatively crazy conversations which lucky did not include anything more about school or work. A long and I would admit a little tiring walk round the mall and the visit to Jubilee got my friends and I seeking comforts from any seat we could find. Sin Yee and Jo's friend Jess, did not join us though. However, Sin Yee coincidently roam the floors of the Hub too with her friends as we bummed into her before she entered into catching a movie. Though the night was way young, rest was overwhelmingly needed and far away living friends needed extra time to head back. I was to head back to Gardens as planned by some YV memebers for dinner and chill, however, plans differed. In the middle of my joruney back, notification of where they were was, town. I could have headed back, but that was prior to my knowledge that they had got tickets to catch a motion picture. It had seemed that the "keep me posted and informed" had lost it's meaning through tough terrains of receptions till it hits the screens of thier moblies. More or less the day ends with this contradicing momentum. ~ Happy National Day, reds, whites, water, Singaporeans, fires, fireworks, songs and speeches. - 42 years.

"Anger and forceful irritation of thoughts crashed into me, heated tensions and sweat emitted with temper through each pore, designed in my skin."

Some days he just wanna up and call it quits he feels like he is surrounded by a wall of bricks. Everytime he go to get up, he just fall in pits his life's like one great big ball of shit. If he could just, put it all in the all he spit instead of always trying to swallow it; instead of staring at this wall and shit while he sits, writers in his blog, sick of all this shit. Cant call this shit, all he knows is he's about to hit the wall. If he had to see another one of his emotions fit. This is it, last straw, that’s all, that’s it he aint dealing with another sick politic.

Class Goes mad with Math and Computing...

Thus, we take took it out on Kenny boy the smallest and the youngest of all in the class.

An a outsider some consider in the class. Orange? - Artistically drawn by the combination of thee mad Jo and Mei - again.

Kenny this's for you. Bully : Ben as usual.

Others gone mad too, none other but Jojo and Mei Mei.

"Garbs"

Done, deisgned and sewn professionally. - by Gab himself with more stocks to come in forms of other designs. Limited editions.

Black Winter.

Couple of rings and a couple of squeeze to the buttons snooze and stop, to my phone this morning ( 7th Aug ). An extra check as well from a morning call with the voice of someone who claims to be good dismissing her own facts. Greeted with glooms by the thoughts of UT4/Enterprise. UTs are understanding test for each module that I sit for, it takes 50% of the overall grades which in turn of course affects GPA. Important as it may be, a half an hour effect compared to coporate working hours in school which only take the other 50%. UTs too come ever so often, so much for the no exam approach at RP. Dry and slow progressing day it had been, with little to comprehend from the non-exciting nor interesting problem statement. Whereby, presentation was all copy written from a passed down, unlike my style. However, the patience of the waiting gesture of shaking my leg recalls and recalls that it is at least time that I took the beat seat and watch others sadden for the work load on this and various other days to accomplish. Where they cannot be dependent on one and definitely cannot take one for granted. Cyber conversations were filled with rumours yet jokes that were able to urge my face muscles to move to form a reverse frown. - How good it was, with naughty little jokes here and there too.

When I become no longer my protection that I've used to be, and when my purpose has lost its directions. What worst can I be directed to? Floods of emotions tinggles with heart strings and nerves even to my finger tips which promotes the formation of a harden fist at times. Occasions targeted to make each one of you smile back at those days, worthy at moments regretful after. Could'ves and the could've nots were too late, missed by either pride or faith drown as one travels to another direction and others in another all facing no where but away in all angles but mine. Rooted with deep thoughts pushes away new ones, dismissal of what can be under my nose, overlooked - and peace when mind goes blank; till then.

"Hope decays, swept wild-ly away by the distractive and the distructive costaphobic phobia of being happy or delighted - with intented purpose of recalling when was the last time my heart pumped enthusiastically to signal a true smile of happiness and love."

Feet Cold on the Floor.

The morning presented itself brightly as my eyes reluctantly open towards a brand new week of school. Same process every other week day can be a real bore, but what can be laid ahead is a abounding mystery. Either something to look forward to or not, it comes as the time ticks, unstoppable against or for, sometimes but in the end these ticks has not and will not be on our sides often, one simple and direct example - catching and hopping onto the late train. The subway station can be a morning location to the start of my growing anger. Where people show no more than a gloomy face, rushing for the morning papers as if they were gonna take their first meal after about three long months, ignorant to the danger of them crossing my path if not for my self control for the unexpected outbrust. The madness moves along all the way through the train ride, people taking thier sweet honey little time to proceed in, leaving the back to worry if they would hit tomorrow's headline news for dying by closing train doors.

Class was as per norm, having two naughty minded disturbed girls in my team explains the madness within. Nothing I wont miss I would say with the last three Fridays remaining, but it can be a real suffer with added rumours within the four cupboard feeling walls. I contain it.

Tired of the want to be what others want out of you. Every day passes with countatble blinks of an eye but little do we know what lies ahead. Lost in the midst of doing so much with little objectives is what we often do, with the help of saying, No I think I know what I'm doing and I've got this; pleases the mind but unfortunately it dont set it straight. Collage of memories spears through deep enough to feel the pain and the impact of its nature. With face down and eyes focused as if studying each grain which made up the floor; can I choose who I want to be or why have I chose to be the me at present?

Last night, with my two boys, dinner and a couple of sides. Restlessness, moved through which enforced my decisive yet stupid actions to take it out at the park's dustbin. Broken easily, mend back, tough - Just like a borken heart fidled with, by restless emotions of another, taken out on and left behind.

"Could you be my unintended. Without the play hard to get factor?" Pride is one of most hardy armour to penatrate into to meet that nervously beating muscle.

Sabbath then.

The morning came and went as fast as an impluse of a drawing wave then to its retreat back into the sea. Canteen morning with Yv, a few dishes but a couple more trash. Countable few good hi's-byes with yet unwilling smiles that planted itself in my photographic visual. Helped out as much as lazy person could, ate and sorted coins for the counts, more in seek of hope for profits. Lazy breeze greeted out hearts and told our minds just to head home. Windows popped with a few friends for a naughty little chat right smack in the midst of Sunday afternoon. I called it the early preview for the night. As my fingers switch from letter to letter to type what it's typing, my mind's contemplating dinner and a short chill out down at good old Gardens.

Are we harmed by what strikes us as we think too much? The negative words floats over the postive, more bold, large and way less friendly. Collaboration of these headache prone feelings emerges and gushes of hate fills through every vein, where the heart poorly just pumps harder. As my sister read eloquently during this morning's 9am mass in church, I did not catch every single word as my self created walls might have prevented me from doing so. However, somehow, I caught a phrase, "To truly let go of earthly things." No need for much elaboration, but it rings that bell of how impossible that can be. We are pulled by this unforgiving, unwilling, and powerful force of this man-made gravity. It will place everything in you to the test to fulfill just that line of words which speaks only of great challenge to human body and mind to achieve that purified soul.

I saw what I could have had months ago, innocently unsure, not ready neither prepared, and there swiftly taken, held in the arms of someone who recovered no further from than a rebound, and his ill profile hidden deep but close under his covers. Blind spots kept her, his heart contains then repairs but time takes its time to heal. Patience was never an option, it was made mandatory.

"We sat back just to sadly accept and a mile more or so to watch if their love could pack more or crack under perssure already from the thoughts of breaking they had."

The start of a new day before the sun rises.

Just before I head for the sack, I decide to do a few more tappings onto my laptop's key pads, as the sound of every tap, determines the emotions I play with within myself. I'm done with two remaining eps of Heroes to go with my mum which we are highly likely to finish within this once again speedy flying weekend, not forgetting with a couple bags of chips in our midst to add somewhat vivid to this messy yet interesting plot. Messages that wishpers in your head before and after every ep is a real questionable question at times, we ought to hear them out. The meaning so intensely powerful at times, you would wanna remember the quote by heart.

It is funny how things are able to work at times, where at one location, people are dying and weeping sinful deeds whilst others can enjoy the surroundings of luxury and gold. How I am here typing being so obilvious to the madness that surrounds yet safe within the walls of my mum's bedroom where I set myself free from harm - sadly harm of what others can do but not mine. Silence can be oh so deadly, but we all seek it one day as we'll all get sick of the noise that fills the air ways right into our beating ear drums. How I sit and wait for what is gonna happen next and worrying of tomorrow's problems today. As others await to step into another country after their 12 hour long flight.

Well enough said, and enough thinking, where one who reads may find this a bore or a test and even think I am nuts to think this through, either one, it got you thinking. Nights to the people who are fast asleep in the midst of wanted or unwanted dreams, and for a friend who acknowledges herself to be cute and innocent, who has just ended work to be safe back home under her covers after our exchange of messages - my care of this one.

To much just to word - the first born gets killed

As I start on my first post into my blog which I thought I would be too lazy to get my fingers on, here then a simple place for me to let some of my thoughts down. Never enough or much said things can be word down but, parts of the chapters of the days can be summed up. Letting the powerful system that links the brain and its commands to the eyes and my fingers; my fingers shall run till it tires for this particular post.

As the year 07 made its way, it was all a blur and the first few months I tend to want to forget. A vauge little memory haunts, but that is all I could ask for since it was also the shortcomings and the various obstacles that made me stronger. I will always cherish the moments shared with my friends and family and the picture auto focus itself for me to visually see who was the true and the ones who really cared and I shall never dismiss my love for them. The torn and tired I made it through the strudy admins, heavy requirments and the glass doors of Repubilc Polytechnic. Glad to know, this is a new level in acadamics and more importantly to start this route. Gladly too, I made it with two of my close friends of mine in this mixed surroundings that takes you right out of your comfort zone during the first few steps in the study calender.

Fast forwarding, W14P, class for the first semester has never crossed my mind that it will be so cool to meet this bunch of significant people in thier own different ways which may seem as insignificant at first sight. Well as of present, we have the remaining two weeks to stress each other while keeping our misses for them till the last day. Not much of a word can describe this classmates of mine, I would say I have enjoyed lunches, presenting, class movies, randoms, bullies and many others, I would say beautiful mishaps which I happen crossed paths with. Apart from this big part of my life right now, I guess my chruch youth group that I sort to hold close to my heart, Youth Vineyard has played a vital role in my faith and the things I withstand was through some of the companies of them, maybe just a few - and one classic fella. Family has never meant much more than it did for the pass few years and that is all I am gonna say about this vital pillars I have and will always love dearly.
The links in between has been much of my chill outs, my tv addictive self and my new items I can get addicted to, my Vaio and the "many things in my pocket" - N95.

As I have come so far, has this been working? Past being the best profit of the future?