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"Could it be the light at the end of the tunnnel."
Sweet's the taste

Happy Birthday Baby! Hope you enjoyed every single bit of it. Smile always.

Thanks for the presents all! Great.

The tree right home.

The family! Peace out always. All smiles.

This entry brings me to post in on my last post of the year. The year which was filled up much with the all so usual ups and downs. From my results, time around, holidays, church, commitments to Poly life and the new people and the one who changed into someone special. This year has been much of confusion and all things which not only made me weak at first, but had made me stronger to hold myself together to come this far and much till this day where I forward look upon the coming years and the new year 2008!

Well there is certainly too much to word about the days and times of this year. But it has been one where is not as easy constrasting when it was way back with less or no worries. However, it taught me to look at the things I had in my life both having and gaining. It is for me to know and for me to keep in my memories and for it to grow not in my mind but in my heart. The many things I have been through, some dont even dare to take a mile in my shoes.

Coming back to much of the present and the past few days, it has been a rather busy or packed week of Chirstmas. It would have been more packed than ever if I didnt manage my time better. Well there is also too much to word, may be in the upcoming post pictures will do the talking. Wells, for a short bit of update, it satrted of with shopping and the attempt to get into the festive mood which was rather difficult in some way for no appearant reason. Got most of the things I wanted for others and kinda enjoyed in some way too nice times too with my mum and friends who joined in.

-24th, It was over to Sze Lee's house on the Eve. Baby's friends place, thanks for the invite, it was well and good to have met her friends and of course share that moment of dinner and cake with her crazy but great stuff, pressured me with her friends though it was fun. It was not slow as usual for time to get on, for me to head back to attend Mass at church as usual, with my family at midnight mass where the feel got a little stronger, wishes to many then after and back for my family get together. Opening of presents was fun, dear, pleasant and much enjoyed and appreicatied. Pretty good and useful stuff I've got and of course gave.

25th! - Onwards, was headed over to Shuan's, as I was rather late, 4am - I missed out on quite a number of people and YV, however it was a good catch up with some and a few new faces. A short chill with bud and other boys, which ended early in the morning where I made my way in about 630am back with baby where she had work in the approaching hours of that day. Home, rest through the day and the evening of Christmas was over at my Unlce's, good food a little drama but in hope it was all good.

26th! - "Happy Birthday Sin Yee baby!" Suprised Baby at her place (she was asleep), on the dot on time, awesome me, haha. Thanks to my dad and my mum for help and for the lift to her place. It's her birthday right smack after Christmas Day. Celebrated, just the two of us with the presence of her, presents, food, candles and sticks game at our usual cosy chill and hang arounds. Hope she enjoyed much and kept it dearly at heart. Thus, the rest of the day ahead was for her. Game of Pool, Dinner, Derssert, Movie, Cake to her face, Chills and Hangs around, Bubbles, Lay downs, River and Brigdes, Breakfast, Photos - Time! Thanks the heavens and to my planning, everything carried out was rather great and much time was shared with each other to end of the day to the sunrise right into the next, together. Love the presents too alright Love the efforts, thoughts and me more. Hugs.`Everything was meant for you, to see you smile to feel me there, to hold you, to watch over - to beat the same beat.

Happy birthday to Wendy and three of my baby's friends too.

27th. - Over to big man's place, a little tired out but dropping by was cool enough yeah. Nice to meet the few in awhile. Thanks baby for coming by too.

28th - Happy Birthday Reena and Sherlyn. Headed over to Sher's in the evening baby came too. Chilled, watched tv and had mini little chats.

29th - Headed out with baby. Hugs. I read you, tightly I hold, tightly. Dont you ever think of the negative. Smiles. (Salty, I am still yours) Smiles again. Ha.

30th - Headed out with family, dinner which closed 07' and well wished for the coming.

31st - Alone time, recovery and reflects of the year and the needs and wants of the new! Happy New Year - 2008 in my heart I made my aims/aspirations/resolutions as I move forward! Peace out all over!

Even though

"Now the top of my list would be for us to shine like the star at its highest at all times. Alike the lights, shall the world shine. Sparkles in your eyes can only reflect I. For He is given to the world, may He show and for us to discover His Love, that I never fail to want to pass on. "

Through the years big man, we gotta keep it real.

` The search for peace has rotten into a sign, obtaining never been easy. '

Now you know I am yours. Smile like you mean it, say it like you hold it true, kiss me like you love it. If time is the only thing we want with each other; 24 hrs will never be enough. Reaches to touch you, jumps to feel your thoughts. Light this up baby.

The holidays are in action as the school days were ended last Friday for the year 07'. I do not have to stress how time presses forward. The past weeks, were near closing to the end of school, much time with baby, outs with parents, helped out at church with its Christmas decorations, chills with bud with a stay over, chills with the boys; the rest are for memories and simple rest back home. Missed out on a few events, but Happy Birthday Sculls. Happy chalet Old boys from the leadership board. Happy clubbing for xmas too, I wont be there. Been pretty lazy to blog but I cant seem to just leave without a note before such a celebrated event, Christmas. I hope most will not forget the true meaning of it, neither should people dismiss the real meaning and in their hearts just waiting to recieve. The gift of Jesus is what it is, He is the gift from the Lord almighty. There it begins this pleasant festive feel, where giving and recieving was met and that this is why we all celebrate it for.

Happy 17th year Jolene, birthday at her place.

Thanks to baby

for the company, we did great at the games we played, you the girl.

Yet for me to have the feel though it is not for three days only. Presents are more or less settled, so much of thinking, giving and purchasing of course which leaves my pocket to crack up in tears, hoping it is all worth just to place that feel in someone elses heart with the priceless smiles moved by tight muscles before they open their gifts up. Happy holidays and a fabulous unforgettable Christmas looking forward to 08' too to those worth my wishes. Till then.

I have been me, never beat differently. I need to Trust and Love myself as I should never go under. I need this, I need to feel you. I cant go on to scream.

Action of words

`Stop for a moment and look what you have, most of the time is it something made up. This one is not. Taken not for granted and seize the time or moment, obstacles are meant to be overcome and going through with it with the people that mean huge is already some reward.`

Flying by the week went. Time spent, pretty smiles given and recieved lighten moments. School daily with grades I should feel proud yet humble about. End of Ut Two meant the start of Ut Three. Chills with baby her and along the week with my boys. Chills to Sherms, pretty long while since we caught up and yes the same old funny times was most needed with the company of Dal and food to surround. Friday was for her, enjoyable and funny. The time, was worth being next to each other, even just the presence of each other in the midst of slience, is Golden. Fish and Chips, Fried mars bars and Sundae was fulfilled. Sat, was a recovery day from the usual late nights and work time in the past week of school till the night. The day was lazy with the use of my laptop and some time with my mum and home. Baby made her way down after her time in town. Time was cruely fast but despite that, the walk, little chats and yes the web was sweaty stuff, no changes - Enjoy. The after midnight hours was left for supper with Gab till three. Incredible chats along the same frequency where he feels me, I feel him, good chats and never failing maturity; more on that soon. I got his back and away with negative vibes we must proceed.

Sunday, was considerably a recovery sunny day too. Woke unusally early before 12 or so, with the thoughts of her at work. Music in the depths of the bed was the location I sunk my thoughts and voice in. Fast forward, late lunch and the accompany of my mum for evening mass, good time where I'd say it had been awhile and the sense of church brought deep memories and peace that I seek. Dinner back home with the knowledge that she's able to meet ended my week in a rather good way with the company and the look through of various pictures, byes to the comb, frog and ants goodnight. The conversation which took place after, the value of what each feel and the maturity in thoughts and the faith and hope we must build, giving each other our word must endure.

The 10th week of school begins.

Tendencies

Match the matchable, different yet attractive. Stars glow alike how your eyes do, the feet dont fit thats then different for our heart beat.

Close to a month I have not been blogging, due to technical difficulties and the problem with blogspots password login manner. Well as close to a month been in the past, there's too much to word. The week before, semester two's one week break, two faci's were being replaced, one being quite a less desireable one who pissed the class off, not surpisely me as well. Either than that the week moved on quickly and the holidays came in as quick as it left for another month plus of school. Chalet with my ex classmates from semester one. Pretty fine, but with a little short coming of negative comments and such, but no worrying on that as I feel the whole planning was fine and we certainly can realize who the leading and better ones were. I fell fluish and left on the second day of chalet in the morning. Shout outs and thanks to the friends who cared and especailly protrayed their concern. The boys, Yann and CH. The girls, Mei, Jess and Baby. Appreciated. So too to my parents, great care. The rest I Shall leave to memories.



The rest of the week was to recover which led me into not meeting up with my current classmates. Time went by, had a long awaited chill and dinner with Gab bud and Sarah lady, good and nice. Then to top the night/morning off, met for a hang out with baby. Next day was for her too, Vivo then to Sentosa was the venue. Valuable time spent, from just the giggles to the serious moments, nice time listening to her voice, the company and just the simple components such like the wind, trees, waves, rain, sand and hugs made up the surrounding, - unforgettable and heart pumping with lappy, ice cream and doughnuts, etc.



Sat, was for my boys, met up with a bunch of them, long time. Chills to Sculls, Daryl, Eugene, Christopher, his two other friends and Daniel. Night was pretty great with them just shooting jokes on each other with good dinner, laughter had been great and of course the bring back of the old times, where we all seem we hadn't change when we get together during times like those. Missing usual, were Sherms, Bong, Hus and Dal. Baby met up laters. Yeah.



Sunday, Happy Birthday wishes to Lady Sarah, who was pretty easy to trick to a birthday surpise however, it was still tiring cant imagine just being alone with her without Jamie and Varian. Alright lunch, at Sushi Tei. Hope all's well then Bud, not many at all are born with a mind at 60 and definitely having not to be senstive enough thinking someone must be as strong or stronger than them.

New week, back to school. Different feel in some way but the week was pretty good except for some unforeseen lack of control of temper, but who's to blame. Two test along the week, couple of chills with baby and still not enough time. Visited Novena, and brought baby to Gardens finally, hope she likes the place cause that's where I live, spend my time and chill over the years and I would with her. Bummed into her friends, Jing Long and a few others, where they celebrated their friend, Chai K's Birthday, had good dinner and time together till it was time to head back, met back her friends there the day ended with alone time for a walk back home. Fruitful in some ways, where no words can be better to word it down. Till then.

Without the Heart I still beat

The last thing was to have him and her with drown faces only printed on walls of our memories. Trying too hard to come out, impact and to keep things real. Faded and blurred added to their agony.

Another week has gone by, school life is still as mundane as it could possiblily be with the class being the norm boring crowd. A few short outings after school and a hang out after school last Friday, visited Marina area which included the Singapore River. Much eating and muching away, from NewYork NewYork and Macs. Caught "Brother" for a movie, not too bad a show, Trust was one main factor the show's protraying and in reality Trust is really difficult to instill yet easy to take away. Trust is one of the most bestrayed virture there is at present. But certainly it still exist and it should be dearly respected and cherished.



Sat was a total recovery day of more than 12 hours of sleep. The night was spent in my living room, sofa for my comfort and finally the Tv for my entertainment. Since I attended school, my lap top is everything till the Tv seemed to be displaced. Quiet interesting shows and some sports and music added into the list of my shows.



Today being a sunday seems like a really slack day with nothing that interesting to do which leaves this time for me to blog. With the music playing and echoing off the four walls, surrounded by thoughts added more so from the songs played.



Saying something that last for a few days or more only, seems curel and for love to stop seems to be murder. For leaving-trying to forget friendships seems to have stop people from having the ability to hold on. When at times we keep thinking and sinking in thoughts seems to be one having to be lost in a deep forested jungle with nothing left to rely on, nothing to look forward to, nothing to depend on and where you become prey when we were so darn used to being the predators. In between faith I stand and I let fear be my guidance, I want to be but can I be? No longer my protection. Fakes smiles and faces arent the way to escape, loosing you may not be my lost, maybe there's no may.

Not the old for the new//

Like little innocent kids who werent aware of the coldness of the world, such a blissful ignorance till thee encounter envelopes them with fear, sin and pain. Some say we ought to live that way, keep saying that the way you live is not ok. Always trying to be someone else but not yourself, forcing yourself into some else's shoes. It's some overblown scheme, setting our minds to expensive things.

My time for blogging is back for a bit. Days and weeks had been rushing by, nothing much but the routine life of presentations and right now, UTs which was fairly difficult and more so did my first one this semester on paper, as my password sort to expire on such a day. The rest of the time were meet ups with a growing slim number of friends, talks and one or two chill outs. Some module problems are getting more difficult yet more interesting I would say. The last few happenings were chill outs over at vivo with a shocking thing to do, such as to study before that. The afternoon when fine with much wishpers to our ringing hand phones then a decision to vivo where we met two working friends and a good little painful tickle as we exhange words and occasional smacks with grass messing around. Last Sunday was finally church, a rather vague memory of real chats and catch ups but was delighted enough to finally meet my fella buddy and a couple more. Lunch with family back at vivo and a night spent with my lap top. Some outdated photos which I failed to find time to upload them, above.

A little bit of heaven and a hell lot of hell.

Now towards the left.

Beauty in what's a flaw ^

Hangs. Standstill. Motionless. The edge. Worries. Unclipped. Holding on. By the string. So thin. Less Faith, less bother. Not alone but so alone. Dark, only black and white. Forces by wind and gravity. Slipping. Lost in the old photographs. Old. Unkept. Swings. Unbarable. Disabled from screams. Pointless. Not the best. Anti-social. Bite.

Bare footed, walking backwards *

Many of us are and some were.

In hope we were.

Grab the rice ball of maggots -

The past week moved or flied by pretty quickly. School was alright, nothing much than doing up prsentations and what not. Meet ups here and there and finally a travel back with my boy Dal. Got Friendster thanks to someone who signed me up. Call me slow, but friendster isnt that wow either. Facebook is the new and it is quite "dope," cool in other words. Running along the tracks of the week was the norm, no talks at least which means less RJs to do. Chilled on Friday, to Newton circus it was, brought back memories which so long might have been forgotten by the people I shared it with, however, they still remain in my mind. Had a rather good meal with good old funny company, I sure do need more and more of these meet ups. Headed to town by feet down towards Far East Plaza which we made our way to Mac Cafe where each of my friends lap tops and mine presented themselves in need to finish our RJs within due time, more chats and exchanges of laughter. Speaking of Friday, Media Corp team came to Rp, my school, to pick out sbest looking male and female. The picks werent credible at all, my friends and I could've picked out better looking ones from afar in the crowd, shakes of my head to this utter disappointing choice. However, it was a little entertaining every once awhile, where something happening happens after school.

Sat and Sun was recovery from all my late nights. My laptop had been my best friend; keeping me company as well as being the source of my entertainment. I caught Evan Almighty over it, my feels of the show wasnt too bad, it touched on topics of Religon, particularly Christan/Catholic. It had main objectives of targetting its audience, such to Pray and believe and that the world has been so caught up with life to the point of trying to change the world in some way till we forget the sentimentals in life, which we take for granted, overlooked and neglected. Skeptics are at large and we are mostly left alone in this world to protect overselves and the ones we love.

Out of a few powerful notes, one impacted was something along this line which is to my understanding. -

"When you pray for unity, does God grant you unity or does He grant you the opportunity to be united? Or when you pray for closeness in your family does He you fill up with the warmth and all the fussy feelings? Or does He grant you the opportunity to be close and loving?"

Gravity with extra weights `

A quick update of the first two weeks of school. My class W25G never had be my comfort zone as of yet. Relatively alright people, who bonded quite well and easily compared to the very first semster were everything was new. Many classmates seemed as though as they knew each other. Despite the lame and crappy ones, the class and facilitators are rather okay - manageable for now I would claim. In between this weeks, my ex classmates and I met up ever so often and they automatically surround me and place me into my comfort zone where meeting them was always something to look forward to. Not to mention the occasional visits from the girls and guys on the very first day brought great wide ear to ear smiles over taking my gloomy face within the small cosy four walls of the class filled with unfirmilar faces. In addition, hugs and hand shakes made the day better. The rest of the days, being almost the same, home to school, school to home, friends class or block to another. Attending talks for points in school became the routine for the first two weeks as talks pile themselves into each of my day's schedule. Travels to school with my "best actress" ex classmate and at times, Daryl. Travels back with my usual bunch of friends.

Some outings too with my ex classmates, dinner at Newyork Newyork, Movie - Chuck and Larry, she made it less boring at times in the show went it was, with funny reactions and the occasional disturbs I had to put up with, interesting talk from Dr V. Bala, attended a Darma play in school " Reality chrashes in" - pretty good act as well as a relative stroyline, visits to the Parsa Malam for my Ramly Burgers, fried ice cream and chicken wraps or rolls together with my eating buddies, Eugene and Ben where I spent more or most of my weeks money on, all for my tummy. My recent buys would be four pairs of skinnies - One shade of Green, Jeans, Brownish green and Creamish. Well, as school kicks in, days had be rather well, back to my reflection jorunals, tiring presetations when team mates are so dependant and UTs coming soon. Some little pics will do the rest of the talking then.

`The ending seemed better than the start all we needed to do was to the take that responsibility and decisive actions to do what we want to do, say what we want to say for the better of all.`

Missing this train for me to catch the other -

Taking the challenge was never that easy
when we had so much to consider.

My days of blogging, drowns when I tire down and fall into laziness once again, or maybe it was all just written and let out in myself. Updates will be up soon.

Usually we take the easiest and nearest exit to escape the fire, and usually we let go of our emotional torture and usually I have to wait for nobody. But in the fire I take the longest exit as behind that exit may be the sound of safety taking the closes never meant you would not get burn. I took the longest route to hear the screams and cries of others, to finally let go, as all this while I have neglected myself, rots in my skin and tears in my eyes for the people around me, taking my space, blocking my way, breathing in my share of air and taking the blame. I took the longest route so that I may bum into you in the midst of panic and despair for you to be with me. I took the route for me to eventually Escape.

Taking it to the bridge.

Often we are blinded thus, all we could at least do was just to listen. I screamed and shouted out so loud I barely can hear myself but all I heard was my echo. Can you find the question to my answer?

You're just the template of his faults.

With all the events throughout my three weeks, I believe it was a holiday well spent, from Perth, to meet ups, and Oktoberfest to tip it to a higher notch. For now, in hope for a greater blast back at school. Great thoughts W14P. Warmest to W25G. A great deal of thoughts to relatively good times, I hope there is something more, much more to look forward to, as I do not think school for two months and three weeks with Reflection journals and presentations to do daily will be something of this extend. Till then.

Sunday, was to recover from all the late nights after work and supper the morning before as I reached back to my shelters close to five thereabouts.

Thus to Sat,

The afternoon greeted with me having to remember that I have got work later that evening. So impressions of the place made, overall a very happening event, with loads of energy with countless runs of beer. The three days and nights in summary was cool, the classic three, Sherman, Ben and I can top the notch of slacking for money. Not being too greedy or anything to that extend but I guess you could call it working smart. As when it came to work I really did it, with the fullest of my service which I got a couple of good comments from the ever so friendly Germans, even locals and others. Their smiles and thanks were all that I needed to keep my good service as I would aspect when I exchange roles as me being the customer to receive this kind of service. Full of laught and experience throughout. Met new friends and bummed into some, from Saint Pats and Mitch and Charmaine. Music was enjoyable despite the repeats of many Swiss and German tranditionals. Club beats to Salsa and even hip hop rocked the night, which enforced more broken tables and seats as the crowd went wild after a couple of drinks and Jaga shots. The level of energy and good dance and music vibes made each night eventful. What more, good company of ex classmates and friends, new and old. A special thanks to Sin Yee for this opportunity, without her I wouldnt have got this priceless expreience and the reason to be rich for a least the first two weeks of school reopening, thanks! The pics will do some more talking and the rest to my memories. The last night ended with going bananas down at the dance floor, dancing to the beat, chats and laught, lorry ride with 20 or more people with crappy yet funny jokes in it. Supper not far from Bt Batok and a loud happening cab ride back. Unforgettable in much of a way.

Wed, came along quick. This time to meet up with Gladys, more catch up, lunch and coffee once again. Interesting chats and much walk around town/Marina region. Funny moments and many laught we share, moreover with weird aunties and a lady who ate her cake at Gloria Jean's with her straw, what a distasteful sight. Ended off by a walk back to the station where I decided to carry on to meet Sherman for dinner and chill. As usual, good chats, a couple of good and serious ones this time sharing what we feel on cetain life related topics and how the time changes its surroundings which moved on too darn quick. A game of pool tipped off the end of the night. The sound of good music and the check into the use of my lappy after, brought the next day forward which will be work from late afternoon till late at the Swiss Club for the 'Oktoberfest' big event! Apart from the thoughts of why work than enjoy the rest of the holidays of what its left, it was something to actually look forward to and the ever so motivating cash to be earned and some meet up with a bunch of friends overcame that thoughts and feel.

Tues, came with me making a little more effort in getting up though I slept pretty late the morning before once again. With the postponed plan with Dalvin and a meet up with big man, Daryl. This time Dal, couldnt make it cause of his really late night home the night before. However, it didnt stop plans made since it was difficult to get days out to accomodate time free for meet ups, nowadays with so many things happening and to be kept busy with. Vivo was the venue. Bummed into Jamie and Paul. Late lunch, a walk around, played games in at Best Denki's Playstation and Xbox's showcase, and a good time hitting at the drums showcasing our profession in it, doing demos from Hip Hop, Vintage and even Techno on the technical drums. Big man's sure good at it. The day grew older with the sun about to set from the view at Vivo out to the Sea and Sentosa. Ended ourselves at the arcade somehow, childhood memories brought back, gamed it at "The Lost World," a shooting game followed by a soccer game. Either a movie or pool in mind back at town till we decided to meet up with Christopher Suso, for a game of pool down at Toa Payoh, with a good dinner came good 9ft table, cue balls and a helluva game played with many random crazy comments thrown at each other all the way. Back online and sleep ended the day for the new, Wed.

I come to blog after the last week of my transition holidays from Semter One to Semester Two. This week had been packed with a couple of things to do which made my holidays a litte more fulfilling.

Monday, plans differ as I just couldnt get up from the swallowing comforts of my bed. I was to head out with mad boy Dalvin for a little window shop and chill. AsI got to bed about 6am Monday morning itself, plans postponed. Thus, it was a day spent much at home, all the way which felt good to just sit back and be the host of my house myself. A late morning till the next day once again linked to the long sleep I had from the previous day.

Like coffee with milk, roads and miles, roots to tress, a die to gamble, Hot chocolate with marshmallows, love and hate, trust and betrayal, and my fist to your ego.

He's not the boss, the customers are.