Sunday, October 28, 2007

Without the Heart I still beat

The last thing was to have him and her with drown faces only printed on walls of our memories. Trying too hard to come out, impact and to keep things real. Faded and blurred added to their agony.

Another week has gone by, school life is still as mundane as it could possiblily be with the class being the norm boring crowd. A few short outings after school and a hang out after school last Friday, visited Marina area which included the Singapore River. Much eating and muching away, from NewYork NewYork and Macs. Caught "Brother" for a movie, not too bad a show, Trust was one main factor the show's protraying and in reality Trust is really difficult to instill yet easy to take away. Trust is one of the most bestrayed virture there is at present. But certainly it still exist and it should be dearly respected and cherished.



Sat was a total recovery day of more than 12 hours of sleep. The night was spent in my living room, sofa for my comfort and finally the Tv for my entertainment. Since I attended school, my lap top is everything till the Tv seemed to be displaced. Quiet interesting shows and some sports and music added into the list of my shows.



Today being a sunday seems like a really slack day with nothing that interesting to do which leaves this time for me to blog. With the music playing and echoing off the four walls, surrounded by thoughts added more so from the songs played.



Saying something that last for a few days or more only, seems curel and for love to stop seems to be murder. For leaving-trying to forget friendships seems to have stop people from having the ability to hold on. When at times we keep thinking and sinking in thoughts seems to be one having to be lost in a deep forested jungle with nothing left to rely on, nothing to look forward to, nothing to depend on and where you become prey when we were so darn used to being the predators. In between faith I stand and I let fear be my guidance, I want to be but can I be? No longer my protection. Fakes smiles and faces arent the way to escape, loosing you may not be my lost, maybe there's no may.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Not the old for the new//

Like little innocent kids who werent aware of the coldness of the world, such a blissful ignorance till thee encounter envelopes them with fear, sin and pain. Some say we ought to live that way, keep saying that the way you live is not ok. Always trying to be someone else but not yourself, forcing yourself into some else's shoes. It's some overblown scheme, setting our minds to expensive things.





My time for blogging is back for a bit. Days and weeks had been rushing by, nothing much but the routine life of presentations and right now, UTs which was fairly difficult and more so did my first one this semester on paper, as my password sort to expire on such a day. The rest of the time were meet ups with a growing slim number of friends, talks and one or two chill outs. Some module problems are getting more difficult yet more interesting I would say. The last few happenings were chill outs over at vivo with a shocking thing to do, such as to study before that. The afternoon when fine with much wishpers to our ringing hand phones then a decision to vivo where we met two working friends and a good little painful tickle as we exhange words and occasional smacks with grass messing around. Last Sunday was finally church, a rather vague memory of real chats and catch ups but was delighted enough to finally meet my fella buddy and a couple more. Lunch with family back at vivo and a night spent with my lap top. Some outdated photos which I failed to find time to upload them, above.

Friday, October 19, 2007

A little bit of heaven and a hell lot of hell.

Now towards the left.

Beauty in what's a flaw ^

Hangs. Standstill. Motionless. The edge. Worries. Unclipped. Holding on. By the string. So thin. Less Faith, less bother. Not alone but so alone. Dark, only black and white. Forces by wind and gravity. Slipping. Lost in the old photographs. Old. Unkept. Swings. Unbarable. Disabled from screams. Pointless. Not the best. Anti-social. Bite.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Bare footed, walking backwards *


Many of us are and some were.

In hope we were.

Monday, October 8, 2007

Grab the rice ball of maggots -




The past week moved or flied by pretty quickly. School was alright, nothing much than doing up prsentations and what not. Meet ups here and there and finally a travel back with my boy Dal. Got Friendster thanks to someone who signed me up. Call me slow, but friendster isnt that wow either. Facebook is the new and it is quite "dope," cool in other words. Running along the tracks of the week was the norm, no talks at least which means less RJs to do. Chilled on Friday, to Newton circus it was, brought back memories which so long might have been forgotten by the people I shared it with, however, they still remain in my mind. Had a rather good meal with good old funny company, I sure do need more and more of these meet ups. Headed to town by feet down towards Far East Plaza which we made our way to Mac Cafe where each of my friends lap tops and mine presented themselves in need to finish our RJs within due time, more chats and exchanges of laughter. Speaking of Friday, Media Corp team came to Rp, my school, to pick out sbest looking male and female. The picks werent credible at all, my friends and I could've picked out better looking ones from afar in the crowd, shakes of my head to this utter disappointing choice. However, it was a little entertaining every once awhile, where something happening happens after school.


Sat and Sun was recovery from all my late nights. My laptop had been my best friend; keeping me company as well as being the source of my entertainment. I caught Evan Almighty over it, my feels of the show wasnt too bad, it touched on topics of Religon, particularly Christan/Catholic. It had main objectives of targetting its audience, such to Pray and believe and that the world has been so caught up with life to the point of trying to change the world in some way till we forget the sentimentals in life, which we take for granted, overlooked and neglected. Skeptics are at large and we are mostly left alone in this world to protect overselves and the ones we love.

Out of a few powerful notes, one impacted was something along this line which is to my understanding. -


"When you pray for unity, does God grant you unity or does He grant you the opportunity to be united? Or when you pray for closeness in your family does He you fill up with the warmth and all the fussy feelings? Or does He grant you the opportunity to be close and loving?"


Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Gravity with extra weights `




































A quick update of the first two weeks of school. My class W25G never had be my comfort zone as of yet. Relatively alright people, who bonded quite well and easily compared to the very first semster were everything was new. Many classmates seemed as though as they knew each other. Despite the lame and crappy ones, the class and facilitators are rather okay - manageable for now I would claim. In between this weeks, my ex classmates and I met up ever so often and they automatically surround me and place me into my comfort zone where meeting them was always something to look forward to. Not to mention the occasional visits from the girls and guys on the very first day brought great wide ear to ear smiles over taking my gloomy face within the small cosy four walls of the class filled with unfirmilar faces. In addition, hugs and hand shakes made the day better. The rest of the days, being almost the same, home to school, school to home, friends class or block to another. Attending talks for points in school became the routine for the first two weeks as talks pile themselves into each of my day's schedule. Travels to school with my "best actress" ex classmate and at times, Daryl. Travels back with my usual bunch of friends.


Some outings too with my ex classmates, dinner at Newyork Newyork, Movie - Chuck and Larry, she made it less boring at times in the show went it was, with funny reactions and the occasional disturbs I had to put up with, interesting talk from Dr V. Bala, attended a Darma play in school " Reality chrashes in" - pretty good act as well as a relative stroyline, visits to the Parsa Malam for my Ramly Burgers, fried ice cream and chicken wraps or rolls together with my eating buddies, Eugene and Ben where I spent more or most of my weeks money on, all for my tummy. My recent buys would be four pairs of skinnies - One shade of Green, Jeans, Brownish green and Creamish. Well, as school kicks in, days had be rather well, back to my reflection jorunals, tiring presetations when team mates are so dependant and UTs coming soon. Some little pics will do the rest of the talking then.






`The ending seemed better than the start all we needed to do was to the take that responsibility and decisive actions to do what we want to do, say what we want to say for the better of all.`


"Sometimes we seem to see hate more than love as we have that haunting confusion between both."
The leader in obivious ways but he is scared and humbled away when the truth arise one day. He fed the rich and abandon the poor, he taught the blind to walk and he helped the lame to see. Nothing more than it seems, as how contradicing life can be. To seek that path still in search to be enlighten by our very ownself and to forget knowing the rest.

About Me

Singapore, Serangoon Gardens.
I wouldnt say I'm that much of a simple guy who lives down the street with little motives running through his head, cause that wouldnt be me neither would it be that simple. Like most and all others, a man who transits between his faith, hopes and downs back to reality where either or neither both be found. If I was to state me as simple, then it places my aims to the test. Defying the oughts of nothing but the simple truth, sad and drown, torn yet driven to find out why and the reason he was brought here in aid to comprehend his fingerprints and the complex map as if a form of hardcore tattoo arcoss his palm printed; he urges his story to unfold, crushes the young chapters but alike an innocent kid, places it under his pillow. What will you do if you came back to life and held the object and subject who killed you? To meet and yet be part of the director of this enticing thriller yet dramatic plot of my life.