2 decades.

Well well the year 2008 has come to an end and I welcome 2009. I cannot deny that I am as excited as afraid for what it is ahead. With year 3, its modules and the final year projects. Family and love ones in bond and understanding as well as friends. It may be the usual stuff to worry about however, these issues can break or make me. Friends in itself has been tricky for me for many years and I am sure for the many years to come. Trust is an issue and I hope my good will or generousity will not be taken as weaknesses because there you might be wrong.

2008 ended and what came into my mind wasnt just the fact of what it is to come in 2009 because I compared it with 2007 and some years back, say a five-year kinda like assessment of value for those years. It turned out to be, I may have better years than 2008 but the fact is those year behind was when I was still in my teenage happy go lucky way of life. Deeper I thought of them the more I find out, I am stronger maybe not in term, physically because that is what I have to work on, appearantly, my skin condition and laziness got the better of me, but I must say it has to change. Moving on, I realized I was able to pick up my mistakes, be angry with it for awhile and then just move on from it, such as my past, the many things I left behind, unspoken and also some of the failures of my education route. I stood up from all my falls and it would be the same for any other falls.

Last year, I entered into Year 2 of my polytechnic life with modules which were of my course, Biomedical Electronics. It freaks the hell out of me because I know it is going to take up a hell of my determination to sit through every lesson moveover, with PP to think of. But in tne same year I walked along with my girlfriend who has been pretty much my motivation together with my mum and dad. I thank the grace that they passed on to me to try and transform anything negatives to otherwise. The 1st semester, I was hit hard by the reality of what I am pursuing, advance math, electronics and programming codes ( I am not going to be some electronics man nor a nerdy computer fella, no offence to those people it these field but heads up to them because it takes so much effort and intelligence to do so. I just want to place my own intelligence into something I find more interesting to me and stirve to be better at it.) My class then was not helping nor were the facilitators. Sem 2 was a little better but I cannot be for sure since I have got another 3 weeks to go with the final UT4 coming up. I am proud that I have completed my module, Professional Profiling which took me a few occasions of late nights to fulfill it. I did it with effort, made appointments for needed interviews be it face to face or online, kept close to the main objectives and set my own, I pass. Not a surpise for many because it seemed like it was difficult to fail, but in my own mind, I did it well with no room for slacking and that's all that matters.

My family bonds are a slight better, way way way better compared to my secondary section of my life. We hang out every Sunday and other days if possible. My mum and dad are the ones I really have to thank to see me through. Times when I am down, sick or stressed up with daily issues. They may not always have the understanding as I want them to have but it worked anyway. The huge amount of gifts, funds/allowance in freedom and money terms are great, though I do have some complains but I see the unconditional love placed it, simple example would be my mum messaging me always keeping an eye out for me knowing me best. Dad, always there to drive me, make appointments for me and so on. My sis, she is caught up with her own route of life but we do share some laughter too. Thanks family, I love you.

My girlfriend, Sinyee. A gift when I entered poly. Now becoming more and more like my pillar, the times we share, the love that grew and still growing/maturing. No matter what she was there for me to talk too, every single night even if we spent the whole day together. I was afraid to loose my friends at first, well friend by themselves do have their own lives and they werent there like she was always. Anyhow, true friends will remain and I will do the same. Baby did not directly taught me to be strong or helped me face to face with my life management but indirectly I was stronger, a better planner in my things I should do, well I am still working on it. But I placed in more effort to take my time of for things to help balance time for her which will eventually effect me in making time for friends and family too. Helped made decisions for me, was there to give support, with others not mentioned here, she just made me a better boyfriend, a man who will share his life with the one he loves. In addition, to always give me my comfort zone, being myself as I need to be and for adding laughter always, like "Smell my armpits move!"(Inside joke and more.) Thanks baby, I love you. Kisses and great tight hugs. Have a great year ahead with you alright. Be it less time or some struggles we must overcome them and also realise anything before to prevent any interference to happen in the first place. Smiles. Oh and for teaching me how to say I Love You and mean it (remember I did not say it on the first day we got together, nor the first or second month even!, Heh!) Winks. I mean it even more now since then as we are moving on together.

The year ended for me with a great Christmas week as well that shall be in another post soon.

Though I did not celebrate the New Year's like how eveybody might think I should have. It was some reflection time for me, I did not go out nor did I spend it with baby or even a full house family but I relaxed and await the new stage/s in my life low key because there's no point being in a crowd with full of friends but yet feel lonely or afraid inside, facing it with slience and reflection may might as well be the first thing to do for then the real party will come later. I do not have much resolutions to make because I will fall so disappointed if I do not fulfill it, so right now the best thing for me is to foresee, take it as it is, respond in the best possible way, leave what others might think about me because it will be a waste of my time thinking about thiers, remain focus, give commiteement to the priorties and to actually think more of myself than I should think for for others. Not in a way whereby, not helping the poor or anything. I am saying not to be over friendly and get backstabbed, for a lack of a better sentence and to enjoy each day, cherish the people I care about and induldge in the simple things I come across and reach for higher heights in all positive terms. To decelerate on negative thinking and wrongdoings. The final year in poly will choose the route I may take in future and I must know it and face it with a bright and happy face for better is what I must become. Happy New Year everyone. Priase God for all His grace and let Him be known to the world which is suffering or in one way or another.