The ships.

Relationships.

Well I am not the best at relationships, do not have a big ego at it but neither will I say I'm lousy at it.

I see the beauty and yet the ugliness of people, try to read them and see their reactions, their responses and even doubt my own at times. I just cannot find the right words to express how I feel about people neither can I find the right or most important words to express my thoughts or the way I see things and think. Neither will I expect anyone to see what I see. But sometimes what I read of others is so true that I could only believe in myself in thinking the way I think, I grew out of my childhood pretty fast I would say, not that I didnt enjoy it or anything, I just felt more matured than others and saw things in a higher prespective than others my age back then. I met or I actually realized politics as young as 13. Some may have earlier of course.

Therefore, in relation I come back to the hot topic about relationships. My early apologies if it's offensive, untrue, baseless facts or just the fact readers dont see eye to eye. It's plain, simple and in my opinon.

Well, a pretty old saying goes which can be a little overrated or irritating is that, 'it takes two to clap." As in the real kinda clap, appluad type. In case some didnt see the whole meaning to the word clap due to its subjective meaning to others out there.

To me, in a relationship there's 2 significant individuals of the opposite sex having the same feelings for each other. There's a doubt in what I have just mentioned, I feel that in one way or another overtime, one will have, sustain or dropped certain feelings due to the age of the relationship which of course are caused by various reasons, responsibilties, taking the other partner for granted and so on. I would say, in a lovely relationship it might just take 2 with the same feelings to go deeper into things but it will take one at least to have a stronger feeling for the other to make it work long term. Having it this way will carry the relationship on going, creating a chance where the other with the lesser feeling realized how much effort it is to keep a stronger feeling, which then creates a time for a transformation to relief the one who takes the effort and now carry on the lead. To reaffirm what the other party is doing which is what really is right and worth keeping the affair on.

By far many couples will have found out that we cannot say enough or stress how important certain common elements must be there to prove real love in the relationship. So there goes again for me to say a few that's important to me the way I see it. Committment, Trust, Endurance, Communication, Prioritizing, Patience, Faithfulness and Time. I cannot really rate them in order because if the relationships is healthy and all good, all will fall into place at once, of course some will learn each element later and when the situation is right for the placement of use but yet if one know of these why not all at once? Just having these few elements will then transform the couple to love and hopes will keep it up to unconditional and lasting love which will automatically bring in others such as great communication and understanding, great sex and the loving kind of family created.

But in a relationship, there's of course the time limitations, the distraction, the temptation, the freedom, the family, the years or months of it, the fear, the hurt, the betrayal, the security, the money, the future and the benefits.

I wouldnt have the time or the real ability to break them all down in critical analysis so just it can only sit here in my blog. But I guess some will understand what I am getting at. For some couples, security is what they see that's important. A girl for instance will look for a man who has something stable that can be a career or a attribute that she's in love with and see that she can grow old with. One's something that is material the other something that will care, either of which she has will also still have the possibility of giving her a good life. Money will be enough to show care and care will be something that will pursue or motivate the man to up keep his partner, it's just what some prefers. Benefits for instance, in a man will look for his lady with good set of skills to be a mother of his child and possibly a sexy figure he can enjoy and is proud about to show her off. All of which I just stated might not be the way each of the other partners will want to be, the man might not want to be the soul provider, the lady might not just want to be a sex figure with motherly skills.

In a relationship, one must really know what he/she wants and most importantly needs. Then choose or arrange them in order by years for example. Because, if you choose to be in a serious relationship, it has to be well planned, heck what fate has got or do not rely that everything will simply fall in place. No one can say when they are going to get married for sure or how long the marriage will last, or start a family at that excact time and place. The plan is to have a plan in the first place to start a tentative structure. For if I get into a relationship and find that I should have taken more time to mingle and enjoy what life can give then you may hurt the other, but if you dont hurt the other, your life wouldnt be in place, the years will go by and what one may have or can feel back then might not in furture. Or what if, if I have given myself more time, will I have found the real right one, but than again if I let this go, will I loose the real right one I have already found? It gets more complicated as it goes, rules to follow, enthics, morales to up keep, sins one ought not to do or disappointment to others and thier lover. Simply, that's why communication will come in play - keep up in knowing each other through and through then if one finds it troubling so then understanding comes in play. If it's hurting then endurance will teach and might help lead the way for the better. Committment then will teach to use time wisely to give the proper attention to each other, now that would be in place wouldnt it?

Couples should not only look into the interest of oneself but more so their partner, because if it's two that's in love, then it wouldnt be so difficult to give. It wouldnt be so difficult to believe, to trust, to satisfy, to guide and to take. In a relationship, both parties usually wants or needs to know how much they are in control. Thus, more commonly a lady will want to know where her man is every now and then, wants to know if the cash is flowing in and the savings are in place for her kids now or in future. More commonly too for a man, is to know where is his lady's whereabouts, to know no other man can be an option and to know her responses are true to him. But, no one wants to be controlled and that's when the problems function. Commonly for a man is his ego, he wants to keep up well, he should loose to no one in terms of home matters such as making love, being the right father and someone who will stand up for his convictions even if it goes against his lover's idea or thoughts. He will listen to his lady but will not give in totally either. Alike goes for a lady, I feel, she will want him to listen totally to her ideas, plans and will take whatever she can control. This is occasionally bad and empty excuses will be made such as, "I thought it was of the best interest of us." but actually it was only for one's interest."

Hence, the give and take method comes into play, healthy or not healthy it may work but how long if it's played unhealty, is the standing fighter to take down. The man can allow in his lady's interest but only if the lady allows his. Thus, bottom line I do this for you, you do this for me, then when is it real, when I say I love you because I do and not because you said it so I say it back? Worst still when it happens for everything else because then real needs of feelings wont be met. I simply had sex with you because you wanted it, I simply called you to tell you where I was because I wanted to know where you were too. So when does it come to doing the right actions because of the impluse of love and not one for one motives? It can grow into worse cases, oh I called only to know you are alone in bed after your tiring day of work while I am out with my girlfriends but actually not, she's out finding someone else her boyfriend has lost giving so much, vice versa.

So what is it we all want, be it in a relationship now or wanting to start one, what are the things we need to give up and what are the things we will feel so incredibily good when in a relationship? Is it because you have been together for quite some time that you are stuck with each other? Or is it because you are afraid to loose what you think is the best for you? Or is it because everyone you know has a partner or is it because you think you cannot get any better, or you are just too afraid to let go but just to settle in to love one another but not to be IN love with?

A relationship is like a plant, with care it will grow, with time it will mature, with suffient love it can bloosom its flowers, with water it can be refreshed, with understanding of its nature it will last, with grace it will stop passerbys to admire, to cherish it will remain in heart even after it's gone.

Yet, to be neglected the new leaves struggle to grow, with other plants to look after the roots to weak to hold, the time to short to know and understanding's weak so it's sunlight's too overwhleming to take dries up and the lack of trust forces it to grow changes it's pot too big it, fell out the window.